


Better Angels 2

by Morgana_avalon



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 15:29:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 61,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18368861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana_avalon/pseuds/Morgana_avalon
Summary: I wrote this sequel to Better Angels by aonian. The work inspired me and I needed closure. If the author disapproves, let me know and I will take it down.





	Better Angels 2

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Better Angels](https://archiveofourown.org/works/366184) by [aonian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aonian/pseuds/aonian). 



Better Angels 

“Dad?” James peeked around the door to find out if his father was involved in any brewing at the moment. If he was, he would come back later. 

“Son, what’s the matter?” Benjamin looked up from the manuscript he was working on and grinned. “Don’t worry, you can come inside. It’s safe. I’m not about to blow up the house.” 

James smiled in turn and approached the desk his father sat working at. “Can I talk to you?”

“About?” Ben had a fairly good idea what was troubling his son and he was proud that James was finally taking an interest in Severus’ wellbeing. 

“About Snape,” James started, but then corrected himself, “Severus, I mean.”

Ben studied his son’s expression and then gestured for James to sit down. “Evelyn told me he prefers to be called Snape,” he said, hoping James would elaborate.

James sat down, but not without a sense of trepidation. Was he really ready to tackle this pit of snakes? “Malfoy called him that. He’s familiar with it, but that doesn’t mean I agree.”

“Go on.” Ben leaned back, joined his hands behind his head, and smiled at this son. Apparently James was finally giving the matter some thought. James always preferred action over thought, but action would get him nowhere in this case.

“I want him to know that we’re not like the Malfoys. I know, dad. I don’t expect him to believe everything we say right away, but I want him to know we’re different. Calling him Severus instead of Snape seems important.”

Ben nodded. “You might be onto something.” Being called something different than Snape, might make Severus think about his changed situation. “You should continue that.”

James felt immensely uncomfortable discussing this with his father. Not because he feared Ben’s reaction, but because he was treading on new territory himself. What he needed was Remus’ advise. His friend always knew what to say and what to do. “I also want to talk to you about Christmas.”

Ben nodded again. “What about it?” He’d been thinking along the same lines, but wasn’t going to tell James that yet.

“We’ll start decorating tomorrow?” James asked, although he already knew the answer. It was the same procedure every year. They’d decorate on the twenty-third of December and the decorations would be taken down January eight. “I want Severus to be a part of that.”

Ben agreed. “You do realize however that he probably never celebrated Christmas before and will feel lost?”

“I’m afraid so,” James admitted. “But we’ll deal with that situation when it happens.”

Ben’s chest swelled with pride. “You do me proud, son.”

James blushed weakly. “Maybe Severus can help decorate the tree? And what about presents?”

“Don’t overdo it,” Ben cautioned. “Otherwise Severus might think you expect something in turn and I’m not talking about a small, wrapped present.”

James swallowed heavily. “How could the Malfoys do that to him? I mean…” James found it hard to express his feelings. “How can anyone…” He failed again. “They abused him in so many ways!” James thought back to the lashing he’d witnessed. That hadn’t be punishment. It had been torture and Lucius had loved every minute of it. “They starved him… Made him pay for any food he might get… Dad, they tortured him, raped him…” His voice failed him.

Ben moved his chair slightly closer to his son’s. “Rape isn’t about sex, James. Rape is about power and dominance.” He’d witnessed his share of sexual assaults during his imprisonment. He still thanked whatever god that had watched over him that he had been spared. But witnessing, hearing, and seeing his friends being raped, had scarred him for life. 

“This is where you come in, son. You need to protect him. Severus is your slave. You are his master. I don’t know any spells, or potions for that matter, which can remedy that predicament. Severus depends on you. If you must be his master, be a kind master and a friend. If you can find it in your heart, treat him like the brother you never had, but always wanted. It’ll take time – lots of it – to convince Severus that you are genuinely worried about him and that you care about his wellbeing. But in the end, you’ll succeed. Don’t give up on him. Severus is finally allowing himself to believe he might be safe. And yes, that new sense of safety brings on his panic attacks. Nightmares will continue to haunt him for a long time. But the fact that he’s willing to trust us… That’s an amazing achievement as it is. He was a slave for fifteen years. You have been his master for about two months and you have already changed his life so much for the better. Give him time to realize his life has changed.”

James had never heard such a passionate speech from his father before and realized Ben was speaking from personal experience. They had talked about his imprisonment, but Ben had never disclosed any personal details. At the time, James had been fine with it, since it meant that he didn’t have to deal with it, but now that Severus had entered his life, he knew he could no longer hide.

//

James remembered his father’s advice and knocked instead of simply barging into Severus’ room. There was light coming from beneath the door, so he gathered the other boy was still awake. It was close to midnight though and Severus should be sleeping as he was still recovering from his recent ‘punishment’ by Lucius, that bastard! James really wished he could murder or maim Malfoy without having to worry about being sent to Azkaban! 

Severus’ heart rate accelerated to an impossible speed. He had thought himself safe at this late hour. He had even slipped into his pajamas and moved his books to the bed. Wondering why his master stood at the other side of the door, Severus pushed back the covers, got to his feet and made his way over the doorway on shaky legs. He had been foolish enough to believe Potter wouldn’t claim him, but he should have known better. Potter was his master and had every right to use him as he saw fit. Severus opened the door, took a step aside so Potter could enter and bowed his head accordingly. “Master…”

James suppressed the urge to flinch, easily recognizing the fear and panic that shook Severus’ frame. “Hey, it’s just me.” He stopped himself just in time to face palm himself. And that would have reassured Severus in what way? “Can I come inside?” He had to proceed with caution, had to weigh each word, check each movement he made.

“Of course, master,” Severus whispered and backed up against the wall, still avoiding looking at him. He should never have believed himself safe! He was such an idiot!

James moved toward the desk and sat down on the chair that accompanied it. “What were you doing?” he asked, merely to get a conversation going. He stared at the huge pile of books on the desk. Books were for studying when they were at school, but not at home during the holidays! He realized though that things were different for Severus.

“I was reading,” Severus replied, finally finding the courage to risk a peek at the other boy. 

“Figures,” James said and smiled.

That smile confused Severus to no end. When Potter remained quiet, Severus’ nervousness got the better of him. As a slave, he should wait for instructions, but his master was acting odd, which was nothing new, but still… “Is there anything you want from me?”

“Actually, yes!” James noticed the shudder that ran through the other boy’s frame. The dark eyes widened and Severus’ breathing sped up. “No, nothing like that!” 

Severus blinked. “I don’t understand,” he admitted. Why couldn’t his master simply give him instructions?

“Sit down before you collapse,” James ordered and Severus immediately obeyed, sitting down on the bed. But James noted that the panic in those dark eyes merely increased at that order. “I want you to stop calling me master. I don’t want you to call me Potter either. My name is James. Please use it.”

“Please..?” Severus gulped at hearing his master adding that word. Potter didn’t have to be polite to him. He was just a slave! 

“Yes, please,” James repeated. “You will call me James and I will call you Severus.”

Severus blinked in confusion. “But… I can’t address you like that. You are my master. It’s disrespectful.” Even worse, it would get him into trouble if Mr. and Mrs. Potter heard him address their son in such a matter!

James didn’t want to make it into a direct order, because then he would be acting as Severus’ master and he didn’t want that. “It’s perfectly normal, Severus, and I would greatly appreciate it if you called me James.” Wow, his parents would be pleased with him if they knew he was actually making an effort to use big words. His mum often teased him with that.

“I will try,” Severus whispered. “But I might slip. I am not accustomed to addressing my master in such an informal way.” His confusion increased when his master got up from his chair and advanced on him. Feeling vulnerable, he wrapped his arms around his scrawny frame. What was Potter up to now?

“Hey, I am James. Welcome to Potter Manor and I hope we will be friends.” He extended his hand and hoped Severus would take it. He waited, realizing Severus didn’t know what to make of his actions.

Severus stared at his master’s hand and recalled Potter helping him to his feet in the library after he’d had another fit. He wanted to believe that Potter was for real. Wanted to leave his former life behind, as it had been full of pain and abuse, but what if it was just an act? Could he trust Potter? Did he dare make himself so vulnerable?

Severus’ struggle was easily read and James hoped that the other boy would give him a chance. “Please?” he added again, remembering the odd look he had gotten earlier for using the word.

Severus sighed. He couldn’t deny his master anyway. He was bound to obey. Slowly, and almost expecting it to be a trap, Severus placed his hand inside his master’s, waiting for the inevitable. Something bad was going to happen. It always did - at least to him. But James merely wrapped his warm fingers around his and shook his hand in a gentle manner. Severus swallowed nervously and found the courage to sneak another look at his master’s face. James was smiling at him – warmly and caringly. Severus was sure he had never seen that particular look on Potter’s face before. No, not Potter. James… his master wanted to be called James. 

“Thanks, Severus, that means a lot to me!” James continued to hold on to Severus’ hand and noticed the tremors that shook it. He was tempted to let go, but held on a little longer, hoping the trembling would lessen or even stop.

Severus bit onto his bottom lip. “I really don’t understand any of this.” 

James nodded. “I get that, but hopefully in time you will.” He slowly released the other boy’s hand. “You should get some sleep, you know. Tomorrow’s going to be a long day.” He smiled at the way Severus’ dark eyes narrowed and was grateful he saw caution and maybe a hint of curiosity instead of terror. 

“What’s happening tomorrow?” Severus’ thoughts raced, but he couldn’t think of anything special happening on December, 23th.

“Well, we will be getting ready for Christmas! We got to find us a tree, decorate it, and get into the right kind of spirit!” James forced himself to sound cheerful, though Severus’ expression told him the other boy had no idea what he was talking about. “You will see, and don’t worry, it will be fun.”

Fun for whom? Severus couldn’t help remembering Christmas at the Malfoys had never been a good time for him to be around. Most of the time he was allowed the stay at Hogwarts, but the few times Lucius had demanded his presence, the holidays had been filled with pain and terror. Lucius often used him as a bargaining chip to get the presents he was after and Severus’s memories regarding Christmas were nothing but downright painful. Although he dared to hope that nothing of that kind would happen at the Potters’ household, he couldn’t be sure. 

“Go to bed, Severus, and sleep. Those books will still be there in the morning.” James was surprised to notice how easy it was to care for the other boy. Now that he had let go of his resentment for Snape, and had accepted his duty to Severus, he felt much better.

Severus moistened his lips and said, “Yes, ma… James.” Speaking the name was hard on him. He’d had little trouble using Potter, but James felt… too familiar. As a slave, he had no right to be on such familiar terms with his master.

“I will drop by around ten. No need to get up earlier. We sleep in late during the holidays.” And by Merlin, Severus looked like he needed every minute of sleep he could get. “Promise me you will go to bed and sleep.” James wanted to make sure Severus wouldn’t spend the night reading when he should be resting. “I am sure I can convince my dad to lend you any books you want to read.”

Severus reacted automatically. “I promise.” If his master wanted him to sleep, he would do just that, even though he would have loved to finish that book he was reading. At least, going to bed and sleep was a simple instruction which he had no trouble following. 

“Good, see you in the morning. Night, Severus.” James didn’t know why, but he found it hard to say goodbye, even for the night. He realized he would prefer to stay to make sure Severus really went to sleep, but he couldn’t and wouldn’t do that.

Severus watched James leave and close the door behind him. Mr. Potter had said he could ward the door, but he wouldn’t do that. A slave had no right to do that. A master should have unrestricted access to his slave - the Malfoys had made sure he learned the rule.

Severus walked over to his bed, sat down, and stared at the door. James’ visit had been completely unexpected and he didn’t know what to think of his current master’s behavior. For fifteen years, the Malfoys had been his masters. He had learned obedience and submission through their methods of pain and terror. But with the Potters, everything was different. It almost seemed as if they genuinely cared about him. His new masters’ and mistress’ actions spoke of concern for his wellbeing. His wellbeing, hah! Lucius would spit on that very word. But he didn’t want to think about Lucius when he was getting ready to sleep. He didn’t want his nightmares to feature any of the Malfoys.

He lay down, pulled his blanket up to his chin, and stared out of the window. There was a full moon tonight and silver lights danced across the white blanket of snow. In the end, his fatigue got the better of him and Severus’ eyes closed.

//

Murky apparated into the bedroom and sneaked over to the bed. “Wake up!”

James bolted awake and glared at the house-elf. Murky was anything but a docile house-elf. Murky was old and rebellious and did as he pleased. “What?” he hissed. It wasn’t the first time Murky pulled that trick on him and the house-elf knew just how much he hated being woken like that, especially in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. Murky –unfortunately – loved pranking him. 

Murky tilted his head and considered the young wizard in front of him. The Potters were a weird bunch as far as purebloods were concerned. They had treated him much better than his former owners and he enjoyed the sense of freedom that came with working for this family. That was why he took liberties where he probably shouldn’t, but he had learned a long time ago that the only punishment he would ever get was a rebuke. “Your… charge…” he said eventually, as he hated slavery with a vengeance, “is screaming.”

“Severus?” James sat up at once. “What’s happening?”

Murky shrugged. He had done his job. He had alerted him. “Maybe you should check on him, young master Potter?”

James nodded. Yes, he probably should. “I will handle it.” He pushed back the covers and got to his feet. “Murky, thanks for telling me. I do want to know each time something is wrong with Severus.”

Severus… Murky approved of James using the boy’s name instead of referring to him as his slave. “You should hurry.”

James slipped into a morning robe, tied the sash so he wouldn’t trip, and ran down the corridor. He spotted his parents the moment he rounded the corner and came to a sudden stop. They stood in front of the door to Severus’ room and were debating what to do about the screams that echoed throughout the house. “Mum, dad?”

Ben smiled at seeing his son rush over here so quickly. “Severus is having a nightmare.”

James swallowed hard upon hearing the screams turn into groans of pain. “What do I do?”

“Are you sure you want to take this on?” Evelyn studied her son closely. 

“I am sure,” James said and nodded. “Dad and I talked earlier. I need to make sure Severus is fine, but I could do with some advice. What do I do?”

Ben wanted to help, he really did, but Severus’ trauma was much worse than the ordeal he had suffered himself. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “Try to comfort him. Remember, in his mind, you are his master – in every sense of the word. Tell him you want him to calm down. See how he reacts to touch. Try to hold his hand. Try your hardest to show that you mean him well. Your intent will travel through the bond you share. If you merely want him to wake up and stop screaming, he will do that, but he won’t calm down. You have to be sincere in your desire to help.” Ben knew he wasn’t explaining it right, but he had no experience in tackling a slave-bond. However, it did motivate him to search his library again. There had to be a spell, or a potion, for that matter, that should end the slave-bond. He was certain there was a way out, and if not, he would invent one!

James nodded and then tried the door, which wasn’t warded. “Back me up if I fail to calm him down?” he asked his parents.

“We will wait here,” Ben assured his son. “We will help, if necessary.” It was only right that James handled this. They would support their son though if he needed back up. 

James spelled two candles aflame which stood on the desk. He didn’t need the light himself, but hoped it would soothe Severus, should the other boy wake up. Severus was on the bed, curled up on his side and seemed to be hugging something. As James approached, he realized it was the cloak his mother had bought Severus on their trip to Italy. James recalled a time he had only gone to sleep while clutching his favorite stuffed toy – a red dragon, which his mother would animate with a spell whenever he was especially distressed. Did he still have it? Maybe Severus would enjoy having it close?

“Severus?” James didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to scare Severus, but had the feeling the other boy would be afraid no matter what. He pulled a chair close to the bed and sat down. Severus’ right hand shook with tremors and James gently wrapped his fingers around it, stroking the back in what was hopefully a soothing manner. He hoped Severus would stay asleep, but that the nightmares would go away. That way he wouldn’t have to deal with the terror in those dark eyes.

Severus startled awake at being touched. His eyes opened and grew wide at finding his master sitting next to him. His first reaction was to move away, to increase the distance so he had time to prepare for the blows that would follow. He knew he’d screamed. His throat felt raw and his face was wet from the tears he had cried in his sleep. “Sorry,” he managed in a choked voice. “Sorry, master. Didn’t want to wake you.”

James remembered his father’s words and tried his hardest to radiate calm and reassurance. Severus’ fingers twitched and they tried to pull back, but James held on. For some reason, the physical contact helped. He was amazed to find that touching Severus didn’t make him feel uncomfortable at all. All he wanted was for the other boy to calm down and sleep peacefully. He tried radiating that, just as his father had advised. 

Severus felt lost. Why wasn’t his master yelling at him? Why was he holding his hand and caressing his fingers? He didn’t see any lust in those eyes. He didn’t feel cornered the way he had with Lucius. Maybe it was because James was simply sitting there, holding his hand and looking so damn at peace with himself and the world.

James didn’t speak: he concentrated on wanting Severus to feel calm and in control. He continued rubbing the other boy’s fingers and then smiled lazily upon seeing some of the taunt muscles relax. Apparently his approach was working! 

Severus didn’t know what to think of his master’s actions, but he did register the calm that traveled up his arm and spread through him. Where Lucius’ touch had only ever brought him pain, James’ seemed to bring a sense of peacefulness. It was a new sensation, but one he liked and one he could get used to, he was afraid of that though.

“Murky?” James kept one eye on Severus while the house-elf appeared. “Can you get us two cups of hot chocolate?”

“I should do that,” Severus whispered; it was unheard of that a master pampered a slave like this!

“Murky can handle two cups of the hot stuff,” the house-elf grunted and looked at the youngster. “You should stay in bed,” he said before disapparating.

While living with the Malfoys the house elves had often taken pity on him, but officially they outranked him. Even house elves had more rights than a slave. “Are you sure?” Severus asked James. “I can do it instead.”

But James shook his head. “Let Murky pamper us. He is kind of gruff, but he has a heart of gold.” Now that he had managed to get into this peaceful mindset, James realized he liked it. He also liked the fact that Severus seemed less afraid of him. A moment later, Murky appeared again and placed the two cups on the nightstand. James sensed the house elf’s   
approval and felt oddly proud because of it. “Thanks, Murky.” Murky nodded and disappeared again. 

Severus wondered about his master’s respectful tone toward the old house elf. “You seem to like him,” he whispered, hoping he wasn’t trespassing by making that remark.

James realized he had to let go of Severus’ hand if he wanted them to drink the hot chocolate and was inwardly debating what to do. In the meantime, he would distract Severus a little more. “I have known Murky all my life. When I was a baby, he would watch me. He played with me for hours, humoring me and teaching me how to play a prank or two. I don’t really think of him as just being a house elf. He’s more like an uncle to me.” It was the truth. He wasn’t making this up to reassure Severus. Realizing he had to let go, he released Severus’ hand so he could reach for the mugs. “Be careful though. It’s really hot.” He pressed one mug gently into Severus’ hands. “You had best blow onto the surface, if you don’t want to burn your tongue.” James wondered if Severus’ problems with eating extended to drinking as well.

Severus sighed appreciatively. The mug was hot and his cold fingers were beginning to warm up. The sweet scent worked wonders for his senses and he sipped carefully, enjoying the texture and its warmth. He almost forget about his master’s presence and immediately flashed him a guilty look.

“It’s good, isn’t it? Murky’s own recipe.” Not even his mum got the recipe right. He busied himself blowing onto the surface and occasionally glanced at his charge. Severus seemed to be doing better. Now, how to proceed?

Severus hoped the moment would last. He felt at peace, sipping his hot chocolate. His master however might have different ideas. 

“Drink,” James urged the other boy when Severus looked lost staring at him. 

Severus sipped again and the warm drink seemed to chase away any lingering memories. “Thank you,” he said, wanting and needing to express his gratitude. “You didn’t have to rush over here.”

James grinned and heard his parents move away from the door. Apparently they thought he had everything under control. “You are wrong. I did have to come once Murky told me you had nightmares.”

Severus felt surprised. The house elf had told his master about his nightmares? “I can cast a silencing charm. That way I won’t disturb you again.”

James shook his head. “Don’t do that. I don’t want you to suffer in silence. And knowing Murky the way I do, he will come and get me anyway.” He paused, gathering his thoughts. “Mum and dad were about to comfort you the moment I rounded the corner. They worry about you too.” James couldn’t remember seeing Severus become flustered before. A delicate blush appeared on his cheeks and the dark eyes shone with tears. James braced himself, knowing Severus’ emotions were all over the place. “I realize you don’t believe me, but you are safe with us. We won’t hurt you. We won’t use you. We won’t abuse you like the Malfoys did. Dad would love to adopt you – officially that is – but as that is not yet an option, we will do so unofficially. You are part of the family, Severus, and no, I don’t mind,” he added upon seeing the other boy’s disbelief. “I want you here.”

“I…” Lost for words, Severus opted for busying himself with his hot drink. He wanted to believe it so badly, but was deadly afraid to find out he had put his trust in the wrong people.

“That’s fine. It takes time.” James had finished his hot chocolate and placed the mug aside. “Is there a way I can help you deal with those nightmares?” Instead of making assumptions he decided to ask Severus for advice instead. Surely the other boy knew what worked?

Severus also finished his drink, but continued to hold onto the mug for its remaining warmth. “I don’t know,” he confessed. “Everything’s different now…” Severus bowed his head and stared at the blanket. “I never had them to such an extent before.”

James reckoned it made sense. His dad’s nightmares had been worst right after he had been freed. During the years, they had lessened. He knew that because his mum tended to sit with his dad whenever the nightmares were bad, and on some nights, he had joined her. “You do know why that is, don’t you?” Severus however shook his head, still refusing to make eye contact. James removed the empty mug from Severus’ fingers and moved his chair closer still. 

Severus’ breathing sped up, startled by James moving closer, but his master still radiated that peaceful feeling. It prevented him from developing full blown panic.

“On some subconscious level you know you are safe here, so your mind decided it’s time to deal with everything you went through in the past. It happened to my dad too. His nightmares were bad too.” James wondered how he could have missed the pain-filled eyes in the past. Severus’ still moist eyes refused to shed those tears though. It was still too early for that. “I will support you, Severus, and so will my parents, but you’ll have to let us be there for you. If you shut us out, we can’t help.”

It wasn’t that easy, Severus mused. “I am scared… Scared to trust you. I can’t help but think that this is a farce and will end.”

“End how?” James reclaimed Severus’ hand and felt pleased when the other boy let him. Also, the trembling was less pronounced now.

“You can sell me again – back to the Malfoys or…”

“I won’t do that!” James said passionately. “You belong with this family now!”

It took Severus a moment to realize that James had said, with, and not to this family. “I wish I could believe that.”

“You will – in the end,” James said smugly. “Now, make yourself comfortable, close those eyes, and go back to sleep. I will stay and watch over you.” Like his mum had done for his dad.

Severus felt too drained to argue. If his master wanted to stay, he wasn’t going to object. Realizing James was still holding his hand felt odd, but also comforting. Unwillingly he focused on the soft feel of those fingers against his and he drifted back into sleep.

James waited until he was sure Severus was vast asleep and then called for Murky again. Promptly, the house elf appeared, giving him a probing look. “Murky, do you remember that stuffed toy mum got me? That dragon?”

“I do,” Murky confirmed while casting a quick look at the slave. Severus seemed at peace – good. 

“Can you fetch it?”

“Of course.” 

James rather liked his idea and when Murky returned moment later, he smiled. Yes, that dragon was just the right size for cuddling! Murky handed him the dragon and vanished again. James put the dragon onto his lap and fondly looked at it. He had even named it when he had still been a child. He had named it Fuzzy, for no apparent reason, but he name had always stuck with him. Maybe it was time Fuzzy got a new owner.

//

Evelyn fondly shook her head at encountering the two of the next morning. As there had been no more screams during the night, Ben and she had reckoned James had found a way to reassure Severus. And apparently James had done splendidly. She smiled at the way James possessively held the other boy’s hand, and finding Fuzzy in the corner of the bed, brightened her mood even more. She reckoned James felt Severus might benefit from the dragon’s presence and she agreed. 

She cast a silencing charm as she didn’t want Severus to wake up just yet and quietly made her way over to the bed. She pressed a kiss onto her son’s brow, knowing it would wake him and probably embarrass him. She loved to see him blush. James didn’t disappoint her. He opened his eyes, gave her a sleepy smile and promptly blushed.

“Don’t do that. I am not a five year old anymore,” he whispered and wanted to move. He frowned, realizing he had only restricted access to his hand. Ah, that was why… He was still holding Severus’ hand. Careful not to wake the sleeping boy, he managed to retrieve his hand. He was relieved and very pleased to see Severus peacefully asleep. “I think I did it.”

“You did. He slept calmly through the night.” She had sat with her husband in the past and knew guiding someone through his nightmares was no easy feat. “But maybe you should wash up, change into something more appropriate, and then join your father in finding the perfect Christmas tree?”

“I will, but I will collect Severus first. I want him to be a part of that.” He vividly remembered those panicked eyes, watching him, gauging his every move. “It will be his first Christmas and I want it to be a good one.”

“Come back in an hour then. Severus might need a little time to get ready.” Evelyn inclined her head in Fuzzy’s direction. “How did that one get here?”

“I asked Murky to fetch it. Severus was clutching his cloak last night.” 

“I will tell him then that it’s a gift, for he will wonder how it got here and why.”

“Yes, please do.” James got to his feet, stretched, and waved goodbye at his mum. She was right – he was dying to clean up. A hot shower would do nicely!

Evelyn seated herself in the chair James had just vacated and studied the newest addition to her family. When Ben had traded the life debt for Severus’ life she had agreed. At that moment they had both decided that the boy should become a part of their family. Like Ben, she realized the enormity of the task that lay ahead. Severus was a wounded soul and it would take years and a lot of care and trust to just start mending the trauma the Malfoys had inflicted on him. “Murky?” 

The ever faithful house elf apparated and inclined his head in respect. “Mistress Potter.”

“Can you prepare a light breakfast for Severus? Nothing too heavy on the stomach, but most certainly high in calories. He needs to add a lot of weight.”

“I will take care of it,” Murky said and disapparated. 

Their voices woke Severus, who almost bolted onto his feet, knowing it was his task to wait on his mistress and not lie in bed while she was about. “Mistress, I am sorry!” Severus struggled with the covers, his fear of not being quick enough to serve her making him clumsy.

“Stay where you are, child, and relax. All I require from you is that you rest and eat the breakfast Murky will bring you – eat as much as you can.” She had never liked the Malfoys, but after finding out what they had done to Severus, she hated them with a vengeance and she wasn’t one to hate easily. Even though Severus had been enslaved to them, he had also been a child and he had been abused for the first fifteen years of his life. What did that to a child? Severus had never had the chance to be a child, she realized. 

Severus wondered about the sadness to her eyes, but knew better than to question her. The best thing he could do was to keep quiet and follow her instructions. “I will eat as much as I can,” he promised, and hoped he would indeed manage that. He wasn’t sure he could eat with her present, although she didn’t scare him that much. 

A moment later, Murky returned carrying a breakfast tray. He placed it on the nightstand, looked at Severus, and muttered, “You should eat that. You’re just skin and bones.”

Severus blinked. Although he had known a lot of house elves, Murky was definitely a unique character. “I will try,” he repeated. Murky nodded and left. 

Evelyn caught the look of surprise on his face. “Murky is practically family. He helped me raise James as I was often busy tending to my husband. He needed a lot of care after being freed.”

Severus looked the tray over and wondered how he was supposed to eat everything. Scrambled eggs, toast, marmalade, fruit slices, yoghurt and muesli and there were even some cookies and a large mug filled with milk. “It’s too much.” The second after uttering those words, he wished he could take them back. He didn’t want to sound ungrateful. “I am sorry,” he stammered. “I didn’t meant to criticize you.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Evelyn smiled reassuringly. “I will leave you to your breakfast then. Try to eat as much as you can without getting sick.” She rose from the chair and beckoned Severus to stay where was as he wanted to get to his feet too and bow to show his respect. “Stay where you are and relax. Eat, and expect James to join you in an hour. Dress warmly as you will be spending part of the day outside.” She ignored his questioning look and headed toward the doorway.

Severus focused on his food. He would keep his promise and eat as much as he could manage – which might be not much at all. Hopefully it would be enough to please his mistress.

//

“How did everything go?” Ben asked as James joined them for breakfast.

“Fine, I think,” James said as he piled his plate with food. “I managed to calm him down. Your advise helped.” After stuffing himself with scrambled egg, he added, “And he let me hold his hand. He didn’t panic when I touched him.”

Ben felt immensely pleased and exchanged a look with his wife. They were both proud of their son and the way he was finally handling the situation. “And now what?”

“I left Fuzzy with him. I should probably tell him it’s a gift in case he wonders.” James gave his mother a sly look. “He’s eating in his room again?”

“I thought it was for the best - for now. He needs to start eating before we can address his problems with eating in public.”

“He hinted it was a sadistic game Lucius played, starving him, and when Severus did get fed, there was always some price to pay. I asked Severus if finding out about that price would me feel ill and he said maybe, but he meant yes. They probably made him do stuff – sexual stuff.” Damn, he still felt uncomfortable discussing sexual matters with his parents even if they didn’t directly concern him.

“Do you remember what I told you? It’s not about sex at all,” Ben reminded his son. “It’s about power and dominance. It’s about knowing that you control someone’s life. That this person can’t eat, sleep, or even breathe without your approval.”

James felt ill to his stomach and suddenly lost his appetite. He pushed his plate away from him. “I can’t imagine ever doing that to someone.” 

Ben stopped his wife from addressing James. He had the feeling more was coming. It was best everything came out in the open now. “Yes?”

“And Severus… He was a baby when they did that to him! How can you enslave a baby?”

Ben claimed his son’s hand and squeezed reassuringly. “Some people thrive on power and abuse. Let it comfort you that you are not one of them. I promise to research the geas and the bond that binds the two of you. I will do my utmost to find a way to release him from this slave bond. In the meantime, son, you have to be strong. Severus needs you more than you know.”

James nodded. “You are right. I noticed it last night. I really managed to calm him. I helped.” Doubtlessly the bond had helped. “We’re taking him out today, aren’t we? We need to find the perfect tree.”

“Yes, we are,” Ben confirmed. “And we will do this together. You don’t need to do this on your own, James. Your mother and I will help.”

Evelyn nodded and placed her hand on top of theirs. “You don’t mind it will be the four of us in this family instead of just three of us?”

Before freeing Severus from the Malfoys James would have screamed his bloody protest, but no longer. “Severus needs a home – a family. If anyone ever needed that, it’s him.”

//

Severus stared at the stuffed toy in the corner of his bed. He hadn’t noticed it while eating, as he had concentrated on swallowing as much of the food as he possibly could. He hadn’t managed that much, but for his standards he had eaten a lot. Severus didn’t recall going to bed with the dragon being present. Had his master put it there? And if yes, why? Should he return it? What was it doing there in the first place? The pop of apparition startled him and he reached for his wand.

“You don’t need that with me. I am good people,” Murky muttered beneath his breath as he surveyed the tray’s contents. “Couldn’t eat more than that?” he eyed the youngster inquisitively.

“I tried my best,” Severus whispered, ill at ease. Was this house elf a friend or a foe? Now that their master was gone, he might show his true colors. 

“I know you did. You couldn’t disobey an order even if you wanted to.” Murky advanced on the bed and studied the newest addition to the Potter household. “Name’s Murky.”

“Severus, Severus Snape,” he said, ill at ease for some reason. 

“Suits you, Severus that is, not Snape.” Murky cocked his head and grinned. “Severus Potter – suits you even better.”

Severus gulped. “You shouldn’t say something like that! Not even in jest!” Apparently this house elf didn’t fear its master!

“They intent to adopt you. You had better get used to the ring of it.”

“They can’t adopt me,” Severus said, sadness coloring his voice. But it was true. Mr. Potter had hinted at that too. “I am their slave – nothing else.”

“You need time,” Murky observed. “Good thing they will give it to you.” Murky collected the breakfast tray. “I suggest you grab a quick shower. Young master James will be knocking on your door in twenty minutes. And dress warmly! It’s cold out there.” With that, he vanished, leaving a rather bewildered Severus behind.

//

Severus stood next to his desk and waited for his master to collect him – or not. He had followed Murky’s advice; he had taken a quick, hot shower and had then dressed in the warmest clothes he could find after looking out of the window. Last night, another foot of snow had fallen and it looked like it might still be freezing. Severus glanced nervously at the stuffed animal. Should he return it at once? Or had his master indeed intended it as a gift? But slaves didn’t get gifts. At least, that was what Lucius had told him. He was still debating the matter when the knock finally came.

“Severus, are you awake yet? Can I come in?” 

Severus shook his head. His master didn’t need to ask him those things. A master always had access to his slave. He walked toward the door, opened it, and stepped aside. “Good morning, ma… James.” Damn, remembering instructions had never been this difficult in the past, but back then, the rules had been straight forward. Show proper submissiveness, never make eye contact, always kneel in the master’s presence, and always know one’s place as a slave. But his current master had broken all those rules – repeatedly. “The mistress said to dress warmly so I did. Or have your plans for me changed?” 

James looked the other boy up and down. Severus must be hot in all those clothes, but they would keep him warm outside. Warming charms never lasted that long and decent clothes worked best. “You look fine. Are you ready to go?”

Severus shuffled his feet, feeling nervous. “I wonder about that stuffed dragon on my bed. It’s not mine. Maybe Murky misplaced it?” He shouldn’t be questioning his master, but what if the house elf was trying to get him into trouble?

“His name is Fuzzy and he belonged to me, yes.” As expected, Severus frowned at him. “And yes, he belongs to you now. It’s a gift.”

Severus found it hard to believe that his master had given him a present. “But why?” His eyes widened as he realized he was actually questioning his master’s motives! “Please forgive me…” 

James stopped Severus from trying to kneel on the floor. “No more of that. Stop that, will you? I don’t want you to kneel each time you think you said something wrong.” James’ hand rested on Severus’ shoulder, and though the other boy swayed slightly, he wasn’t panicking. “Fuzzy helped me through the nights when my mum was looking after my dad. He made me feel less alone. Maybe you also like some company at night. I will show you how to spell him to become animated later.”

Severus simply stared at James in utter confusion, but then he realized something. His master must have seen him clutch that cloak. He wanted to scream, wanted to tell James off. Wanted to remind him that he wasn’t a five year old in need of a cuddly toy. But the truth was he’d never had any toys to begin with. As long as he could remember, he had lived to serve the Malfoys.

James watched as Severus’ gaze moved onto Fuzzy. “He’s all yours. He’s a great companion.” 

Severus knew accepting the gift was the proper thing to do. He couldn’t deny his master. If James wanted him to have that stuffed dragon, he had to show proper gratitude. “Thank you, master.” Horrified he realized he had screwed up again. 

“It’s James, remember?” James gave the other boy a reassuring smile. “Come on, let’s go. Dad’s waiting for us. We are going tree hunting.” Severus’ dumbfounded look told him his companion had no idea what was going on. “It’s Christmas! So we need a Christmas tree!”

“Oh,” escaped Severus as he decided to move along with James who guided him out of the room. He had no idea what they expected him to do. He could only hope they would supply him with instructions! 

//

Ben smiled at seeing them walk towards him. James kept close to Severus, who seemed to drown in his heavy coat, mittens and shawl. Actually that shawl looked familiar – didn’t it belong to James?

Severus shivered at seeing Mr. Potter carry an old fashioned ax. He didn’t like weapons as they had often been used against him in the past. He couldn’t help but wonder why he was here. 

“Right! We are all set then,” Ben announced, mostly for Severus’ benefit. “Our goal today is to find several Christmas trees. A big one for the drawing room, and several smaller ones for the kitchen and bedrooms. Severus, I want you to pick a tree for your room as well. When you spot one you like, let me know.” The poor boy looked absolutely spooked, but Ben ignored it for the moment. 

A tree for his room? What kind of madness was this? The Malfoys hadn’t even let him near their Christmas decorations! Mr. Potter started to walk and as his master followed suit, he had no choice but to do the same. They walked for several minutes until Mr. Potter suddenly halted. Apparently some tree had caught his attention.

“This one will do nicely for the kitchen. I am sure the house elves will love it.” Ben swung his ax once and once the blade touched the trunk, the tree vanished. 

James looked sideways and found Severus starring at his father in confusion. Knowing this couldn’t be easy on the other boy, James hooked his arm with Severus’. Those dark eyes fastened on him at once, but to his relief, there was no terror in them. “See a tree you like?” His father was already moving on, trying to find the perfect tree for their drawing room. 

Severus was still trying to understand why they wanted him to pick a tree for his room. Why did they think he needed one? 

James steered Severus towards a fallen tree and pulled him along as he sat down on the trunk. “What’s wrong? Please tell me.” He suspected Severus felt overwhelmed but suspicions weren’t enough. He needed certainty. 

Severus stared at the snow for a moment. Why did his master always ask him questions to which the answers were so obvious? He sighed, realizing he couldn’t stall much longer. “Slaves don’t get Christmas trees. At least not in the Malfoy household.”

James was relieved that Severus trusted him enough to confide in him. “But you no longer live there. You are with me now. Your life has changed, you know that.” Severus nodded, but James knew the other boy needed a lot more time to actually accept that. “And in the Potter household everyone gets a tree. Murky is probably decorating the one dad sent to the kitchen right now.” 

Severus found it difficult to truly believe his life had changed that much. But the Potters had been true to their word. None treated him as a slave, and even when he had been at Hogwarts with James, his master had treated him respectfully. 

“Well, do you see a tree you like, Severus?” James hoped distracting the other boy from his gloomy thoughts was the best thing to do. “Maybe that one over there?”

Severus raised his gaze and followed the direction his master was pointing it. To him, all the trees looked the same. “Looks fine to me,” he whispered, hoping it was the thing James wanted to hear.

“Great! We will get that one for your room. Come on!” James jumped to his feet, and as his arm was still looped with Severus, the other boy had no choice but to go along. “Dad! Severus wants that tree over there,” he called out, ignoring the fact that Severus cringed next to him. 

Severus looked up at Mr. Potter in order to find out if James’ outcry would get him into trouble, but the older Potter merely swung his ax at a very large and posh tree and it vanished. Only then did Mr. Potter turn around to wave at them. “Which one, son?”

Severus tried to make himself as small as possible, tucked away against his master. Slaves didn’t want things and James had just told Mr. Potter he wanted that specific tree, while he had no idea what tree his master was talking about!

“That one over there,” James said and dragged Severus along. “This one, isn’t it?” he asked as they reached a line of smaller trees. “It’ll fit the room perfectly!”

He wasn’t going to contradict his master. Severus would go along as long as it kept him out of harm’s way. 

“Nice tree,” Ben commented and wished Severus felt comfortable enough to raise his head. He looked beaten – defeated – and about to give up. He had felt like that himself, but had managed to crawled back up each time. They would make sure Severus wouldn’t give up on himself. “Murky will deliver some Christmas decorations to your room so you can arrange everything to your liking. You can do so this evening. But first, when we get home, we will have some hot tea and a bite to eat and then we will tackle the huge tree I sent to the drawing room.” Ben moved until he stood in front of Severus and placed a finger beneath the boy’s chin. Severus flinched, but stayed put. “Look at me, son.”

Severus thought he had misheard. Why would Mr. Potter call him that? But the older Potter slowly raised his head and Severus had no choice but to go along. He closed his eyes though so he didn’t have to look into those confusing eyes.

 

“Look at me, Severus. Open those eyes. There is no reason to fear me. I mean well.” Ben waited and felt relieved upon seeing those dark eyes open at least. They held so many questions though. 

“James, take Severus back to the house and make sure he eats and drinks something. I will join you in the drawing room later. Get already started on the tree, yes?” Upon releasing Severus’ chin, the boy’s head dropped again. Ben ruffled James’ hair and pressed a kiss onto his son’s brow. “Take good care of him,” he whispered, making sure Severus didn’t hear. 

James nodded. It was odd. In the past, he might have felt jealous of Severus getting that much attention, especially from his father. But these days, he realized why Severus desperately needed as much attention as he could possibly get.

//

Severus remained quiet during their walk home and James didn’t push him. He understood that Severus needed time to deal with everything happening around him. His mum opened the door and let them in, quickly shooing them over to the fireplace in the hallway. 

“Give me those coats. You need to get warm again. Murky will bring you some hot tea.” While James quickly shrugged out of his coat and shoes, Severus remained motionless. “What happened,” she mouthed, knowing James would understand. 

“Not much,” James whispered as he helped her remove the shawl from around Severus’ neck. “I think he’s just trying to accept everything has changed. He was rather upset that dad wanted to get him a tree for his room.”

“That tree already arrived and Murky put it up in his room. The two of you can attend to it later.” Evelyn helped Severus out of his coat and only then did the boy react. He gave her a scared look upon realizing she was helping him. 

“Mistress!” Everything was so wrong! He should be attending James – his master- and instead his mistress was looking after him.

“Severus, I want you to stop calling me that. You can address me as Mrs. Potter or Evelyn and I must admit I prefer to be called by my name. His shocked expression however told her, he would find that difficult. She guided him over to the stair case and sat him down, sitting next to him. “Severus, here in his household we don’t keep slaves. Even the house elves are free to leave if they desire so. Murky stays because he loves the family, not because we force him to stay. We will never treat you as a slave. What the Malfoys did to you was wrong. As time passes by you will realize that I am speaking the truth. Severus?” Her heart twitched painfully at seeing the sadness in his eyes. “Severus, as far as we are concerned you are part of the family. We discussed this, Ben, James and I. We will raise you as our son and James… Well, James always wanted a brother.”

In the past James would have found it hilarious – the way Severus’ eyes fastened on him in shock – but he had matured. He had changed too. His life had changed as much as Severus’. “She’s right,” he said, eager to confirm his mum’s statement. “I’m fine with it. I want you here. You are welcome.”

Severus’ head was beginning to spin. His heart beat was way too fast and he felt lightheaded. He knew what was going to happen from past experience. He was going to faint. Each time it had happened in the past, Lucius had had him whipped in order to teach him a lesson. But Lucius wasn’t around anymore, was he? Panicking, he searched the hallway, but his former master was nowhere to be seen. Droplets of sweat appeared on his brow. His hands felt clammy and he found it increasingly hard to breathe. 

“Severus?” James sat down on Severus’ other side and wrapped an arm around him in support. “Mum, what’s wrong? This happened at Hogwarts too. Madam Pomfrey called it a malady of the mind.”

Evelyn recognized a lot of the behavior Severus currently displayed, having seen it in her husband as well. “Fifteen years of abuse are finally catching up with him. It’s nothing that can’t be cured, but he needs time.”

“Like dad did?” 

“Yes, just like dad.” Evelyn brushed some of Severus’ long, black hair behind an ear so she could study his expression. Did Severus need some time on his own, or needed he to be among friends? In the past, she had found it difficult to read her husband’s needs as well, but in the end she made her decision. Severus needed to get used to being around them. “We are taking him to the drawing room.”

James got to his feet and helped his mum put Severus on his feet as well. He kept an arm tightly wrapped around the other boy’s waist and supported him as they made their way over to the couch in the drawing room. Severus hadn’t been here before and might feel disoriented once the fit stopped, so James sat down as well. A large tree rose to the ceiling, but no decorations had been added yet. They would do that as a family - and that included Severus.

//

“Severus? Do you want some tea?” James had closely monitored his charge and had seen awareness return to Severus’ gaze. “Can you sit up?”

Severus blinked. Where was he? What had happened? How had he gotten here? Was he in trouble?

Seeing the rising panic return, James helped Severus sit up. “We are in the drawing room and about to decorate our tree. You didn’t feel well and kind of fainted. Mum and I thought it was best you rested for a little while.” James kept talking, hoping it would keep Severus relaxed. He didn’t want the other boy to sink into fear again. 

Severus looked about and cringed at seeing Mr. Potter returning that look. “I am sorry,” he started. An apology wouldn’t get him anywhere, but he had to try. He had dreamt about Lucius putting the crucio on him, just in order to amuse himself. He didn’t want to go through that pain again. “I fainted. It won’t happen again.”

“Yes, it will.” Ben lowered himself onto his heels in front of the couch so he was eye to eye with Severus. “And it’s all right if it happens. You won’t get into trouble because of it. No one is going to punish you for being ill.”

Severus averted his look and then stared at the floor. He felt miserable.

“Here, have some tea, it will do you good.”

Severus wrapped his fingers around the mug, eager to obey his master. The warmth of the tea helped his core warm up as well. He didn’t feel cold exactly, but there was something heavy lodged inside his chest. He sipped, carefully, and fought back the sob that threatened to escape his throat. He wasn’t going to cry! He wasn’t going to cry like a baby! The Potters might be forgiving, but a slave acting like that… Severus’ breath caught upon feeling someone’s arm wrapping itself around his shoulders and pulling him close. Curiosity made him look up and he found Mr. Potter seated next to him and holding him close, while James rescued the mug from his unsteady hands.

“You can cry, son. Just let it out. Keeping it all inside will only make it harder. It’s fine to cry.” Ben hoped Severus had reached a breaking point. The boy needed to give into his feelings if they were ever going to start the healing process. He also realized it might be just the first of a number of breakdowns, but that didn’t matter. His wife had pulled him through back then and he could do the same thing for Severus. 

But Severus continued to fight those tears, remembering being punished for shedding them in the past. 

“Here, drink some more,” James said, offering Severus the tea again. He exchanged a look with his dad, who then moved away. He pulled Severus against him and steadied his hand when the other boy sipped from the tea.

Ben briefly closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath in order to sort out his emotions. He recognized himself in Severus. The two of them had a similar past and he vowed to do everything he could to better the boy’s life. 

Severus slowly calmed down while sipping from the tea. He didn’t want to feel safe, but he did. It wasn’t Mr. Potter’s speech that had comforted him. No, it was the fact that his master was looking after him. James had pulled him against him and was taking care of him. That odd sense of serenity was beginning to take over again and his hands stopped trembling.

James noticed it and felt grateful his tactic was working. It seemed that as long as he concentrated on feeling at peace around Severus, that the other boy calmed down as well. “Murky also made sandwiches. Do you think you can eat one? If not, he will deliver some to your room later.”

Severus’ first reaction was to reject the offer, but truth be told, he felt calm and in control. Maybe he could manage one. “I can try,” he muttered beneath his breath. James placed the plate on his lap and then started to discuss Christmas decorations with his parents, giving Severus a semblance of privacy. Severs picked up a sandwich, pulled it apart with his fingers, and slipped a small piece of it into his mouth. It took him a moment, but he managed to swallow it. James offered him the tea again and he sipped. In that way, he managed to finish one of the thinly sliced cucumber and cheese sandwiches, surprising himself. He wouldn’t have thought it possible, especially considering the fact that James was still holding him close – one arm tightly wrapped around him. 

“Want to join us decorating the tree, son?” Ben knew using that word – son- was one of the reasons Severus felt upset, but he refused to stop using it. 

“I don’t know how to do that,” Severus admitted, trying his hardest to ignore being called that again. “I never did that before.” 

“Well, there is a first time for everything,” Ben said cheerfully. “You can levitate the decorations to their appropriate spot or simply put them in by hand. And don’t forget, there is another tree, though smaller, waiting for you in your room.” Ben felt they had made progress. The fact that Severus had managed to eat something in their presence was no easily won victory. “James, why don’t you show Severus how it is done and the two of you cover that side of the tree? Your mum and I will take care of the rest.” Judging it wise to leave them alone, he joined Evelyn who was already picking this year’s colors.

“Come on, it will be fun.” James took hold of the emptied mug and placed it on the coffee table. Severus got to his feet and followed him, carefully looking at the tree. 

Severus felt out of his league. What was he supposed to do? The Malfoys had had their house elves attend to their tree and he had never been allowed near it. Next to him, James sighed, but he could tell it was fake. “What is it?”

“Mum went for her favorite color scheme this year. Personally I think it is rather boring, but she loves it.” James pointed at the decorations floating in the air next to them. “White, silver and grey.” 

Severus gathered his courage and whispered, “I reckon you’d prefer red and gold?”

James grinned. “It’s true; I am a Gryffindor, but no, it don’t have to be those colors. I like it wild. If it were up to me, all colors would be up there.”

“And that’s why it’s not up to you,” Evelyn joked. “Severus, why don’t you put these in?” She levitated some silver decorations to him, shaped like brilliantly shiny stars. 

“Where would you like them to go, Mrs. Potter?” Severus fervently hoped that he wasn’t going to do it wrong and displease her. 

“Wherever you like, Severus.” Evelyn then moved away and helped Ben levitate the wraiths into the right places. 

Severus reached for one of the decorations and looked at the star. Not knowing what to do was bringing another panic and his hands started to tremble.

James had been watching him and came to the rescue. “Put one over there, and one there. Up there is a good spot too. Put the rest down here.” 

Severus breathed a sigh of relief and his panic lessened. “Thank you,” he said as he levitated the decorations up to the branches he couldn’t reach. “Is this all right?”

“Looking good,” James commented, realizing how hard it was for Severus to do something this ‘normal.’ Severus never had a normal childhood; he had never done the things families do. After he had finished his part of decorating he went to stand next to Severus and made a grand show of admiring the other boy’s work. Remus would be so proud of him! Carefully, and hoping he wasn’t overdoing it, he looped his arm with Severus’ once more. Severus looked at him oddly, but didn’t react otherwise. “You just decorated your first tree! Do you want me to help with the one in your room or can you manage?” 

Severus thought it over. It might be nice to decorate it on his own. Also, he wouldn’t have to worry about doing it the wrong way. “I want to try myself,” he whispered while carefully monitoring his master’s reaction. But James merely smiled at him.

“That’s fine with me! Why don’t you do it now? We will have lunch in a bit and you can join us of course, but if you rather eat on your own that’s fine too!”

Severus cast a quick look at James’ parents to find out if they agreed. They nodded and Mrs. Potter smiled as well. Living here was too good to be true and it wouldn’t last. At least in his case it wouldn’t.

//

Severus stepped back and studied his handiwork. To him, the tree looked all right, but as he had no experience decorating Christmas trees so he might be wrong. He had put in lots of golden decorations as he liked the warmth the color radiated. Something was missing though, but he didn’t know what.

“Your tree needs lights,” Murky commented as he apparated into the boy’s room. “Lots of them.”

Severus frowned. “Lights?” Did the Potters’ Christmas tree have them? Maybe he had been too stressed to notice. 

At a flick of Murky’s hand, several strings with fairy lights wove their ways around the tree, instantly lightening the room in soft colors. “Better?” he asked, studying Severus instead of the tree.

“Better,” Severus agreed, meaning it and not saying it to simply appease the house elf. Severus sat down on the bed and studied the tree. It was odd to have one of his own.

“Do you want to eat lunch in your room?” Murky asked, still keeping a close eye on him.

“It might be best,” Severus confessed. “I will be less likely to panic and cause problems.”

Murky fetched the boy’s lunch and placed it on the bed. He sat down next to Severus and slipped the tray onto his lap. “Do you want me to leave too?” 

Severus shook his head minutely. “You can stay.” 

“You don’t seem that nervous around me,” Murky observed while watching Severus eat. 

Severus shrugged once. “The house elves used to be my friends – where I lived before.” He couldn’t say the Malfoys’ name or he would choke on the food again. “They often helped me when no one else would.” Severus’ breathing sped up when he said, “I am hoping we can be friends too. I need a friend here.”

“You have the Potters,” Murky stated.

“They are my masters,” Severus whispered, his appetite quickly leaving him. “But they act inappropriately. I don’t know what to make of their actions. Mr. Potter called me son twice today and Mrs. Potter seems to be a really nice person. And James… I never liked him before, but he has changed. He treats me differently, almost with…”

“Respect?” Murky finished for him.

“Yes.” Severus forced himself to finish a second sandwich, but truth be told, he’d had enough and was beginning to feel full. “I never expected that.”

“They are good people,” Murky stated and moved the bowl with slices of fruit closer to his charge. “Eat that too, even if you feel full.”

Severus selected an apple slice and munched on it. “I like you,” he admitted, but carefully avoided looking at the house elf. He didn’t like making himself vulnerable without knowing the outcome.

Murky considered the youngster sitting next to him. Severus desperately needed friends and it would be a long time before he would start to trust the Potters – trusting a house elf might be easier on him. “I am your friend,” he said, knowing Severus desperately wanted to hear that. “Call me if you need something. Even when it’s just someone to talk too and now finish that.” Severus smiled and that smile seemed to light up the entire room, Murky noted. “You have a friend in me,” he confirmed and felt relieved when Severus finally did look at him. “Don’t worry about that anymore.” 

Severus selected a piece of an orange and sucked on it before eating it. Life had just gotten better. He had made a friend in the Potter household.

//

Severus wasn’t exactly sneaking. He was merely tiptoeing to avoid being noticed. He was on his way to the library to gaze upon his written treasures and maybe even read one of those precious books. The only thing that could go wrong was someone stopping him from going there.

James was about to round the corner when he caught sight of Severus. The way the other boy moved told him a lot. Severus was afraid of attracting attention. Curiously, James sneaked after Severus and wasn’t surprised to see him enter the library. He snorted softly. He should have known Severus would be headed there. Leaving Severus to his books, James resumed walking. 

//

Severus yawned. He didn’t know how long he had been hunched over this particular book, but it must have been for several hours. His stomach had begun growling softly, something it seldom did, demanding food. Back at Malfoy manor he had been able to go without food for days. But now that he was eating regularly and getting some rest, his body seemed to have upped its demands. Maybe he could talk Murky into sneaking him an apple. Reluctantly he closed his book, realizing he had been here too long. Severus looked out of a window and found it had grown dark outside. What would be the best course of action? Should he return to his room? Go the kitchens to find some food? Did he have to report to his master? Life was too damn confusing when it came without his master’s instructions!

“I knew I would find you here.”

Severus bowed his head about seeing his mistress enter the library. “I hope I am not trespassing, but Mr. Potter said I could come here to read.”

“Severus, I am delighted to find you here – reading. It’s an activity I wished James engaged in as well.” She sat down next to him and looked at the title of the book he had been reading. She wasn’t surprised it was about brewing. “You are passionate about potion making, aren’t you?”

Severus nodded and raised his gaze slightly. “I love brewing and should I succeed in becoming a Potions Master it will increase my value as a slave. Maybe you will keep me then.”

“Oh, Severus,” Evelyn sighed. “We will keep you no matter what.” Slowly, so Severus saw what she was doing, she raised her right hand and brushed his dark hair out of his face so she could study his expression. “I am growing rather fond of you and want you to feel like you belong here.”

Severus wanted to turn his head away from her, but that would be rude, especially considering she was cupping his cheek now. Having her touch him like that was odd. He had seldom been touched in a loving manner and he didn’t quite know how to react to the caress.

“Do you want to eat dinner in your room or will you join us?” She reckoned she knew the answer already, but still wanted him to have a choice. He had never been allowed to make his own choices in the past.

“My room, that way I won’t embarrass you,” Severus whispered, slowly beginning to enjoy the feel of her fingers against his cheek. 

“Fine,” Evelyn said. “But I want you to join us in the drawing room after you finish dinner.”

Severus nodded obediently. He would do as instructed. He wasn’t prepared when she suddenly leaned in closer and pressed a kiss onto his brow. He stared at her in wonder. Why had she done that?

Evelyn smiled, but it was a smile colored with sadness. “I expect you join us around seven this evening, Severus. Know that you are welcome. You are a part of this family now. Maybe, if I continue telling you often enough, you might want day start to believe it.”

//

Murky placed the tray holding dinner on the desk and eyed Severus. “You are hungry.” 

Severus smiled shyly. His stomach growled audibly. “What gave me away?”

“Those sounds!” Murky gestured for Severus to sit down and start eating. “Since the rest of the family is having pasta, you are having it to.”

Severus averted his gaze at hearing that. The rest of the family… “I am not a part of this family.” He sat down and lifted the lid. The pasta did smell nice and he was hungry. 

“Tell that to the Potters. They instructed me to look after you as one of their own. As far as the Potters go you are family.” Murky sat down on the windowsill and felt sorry for the youngster who had suffered so much in the past. 

Severus started eating, and managed quite well with only Murky for company. Murky wasn’t his master and wouldn’t expect payment for feeding him. He was safe with the old house elf. 

//

Severus didn’t feel comfortable when he stood in the doorway to the drawing room where Ms. Potter had told him to join them at seven. Why was his presence needed? Severus felt ill at ease and remained frozen, waiting for further instructions. While he waited he took in the family. Mr. Potter sat at a big desk and was writing. Severus remembered the wizard’s awful handwriting. Ms. Potter and James sat on the couch and were talking. It was quite a homely scene and one he knew he didn’t belong in. He felt like an intruder and fought the urge to turn and run. But his mistress had ordered him to report at seven and so he remained standing there.

Ben looked up and was the first to notice Severus’ arrival. Seeing the boy standing there, obviously feeling lost, tore at his heart. “Severus, come over here, will you? Do you want to help?”

James looked toward the doorway and wondered just how long Severus had already been standing there. He was glad his father had noticed.

“Of course, Mr. Potter.” Really, there was no reason his master needed to be polite around him. Severus immediately made his way over to him and stood in front of the desk, awaiting further instructions.

Ben wished he knew a way to make things easier on Severus, but unfortunately they had to do this the hard way. “Sit down, and copy these notes in your best handwriting. If you can’t read something, ask me about it. I don’t want you to make any mistakes.”

Severus nodded solemnly and started to work on the notes. The handwriting was horrible and he had a hard time to making sense of the words. His enthusiasm grew though, once he realized Mr. Potter had invented a new potion. 

Evelyn and Ben exchanged a fond look. If copying notes set Severus’ mind at rest, it would do.

//

“James?” Ben softly called out to his son.

James, who had been yawning and getting tired himself, looked at his dad and immediately realized why his father had called his name. Severus sat at the desk, vast asleep in a very uncomfortable position. “I had better make sure he gets back to his bed.”

Ben nodded. That was exactly why he had attracted his son’s attention. “Don’t levitate him though. Wake him. He might panic otherwise.”

“And we don’t want that,” James said and winked at his dad. Really, this whole taking care of Severus thing was getting easier on him. He no longer minded taking responsibility for him. He sat on the edge of his dad’s desk and poked Severus’ shoulder. “Hey, wake up.”

Severus didn’t startle awake this time. He felt comfortable, at ease, and only slowly opened his eyes. A few weeks ago, finding his master this close to him would have made him panic, but he was slowly beginning to trust James. He must have fallen asleep while taking notes.

“It’s time for bed, Severus. You fell asleep at the desk. Dad will have my hide if I don’t make sure you are resting.”

Again, those words would have brought on an anxiety attack ago not so long, but Severus now knew that James didn’t plan on punishing him. “I don’t know why I am this tired,” he admitted as he leaned back his head against the comfort of the chair. 

James caught his dad’s look and realized he had to answer this. “I reckon you are finally getting a chance to rest. Maybe your body realizes taking everything at a slow pace is nice?”

“You are not displeased because of that?” Severus hoped James wasn’t. It was true - he did need time to heal.

“No, not at all.” James jumped to his feet and offered Severus his hand. “I will walk you to your room.”

“You don’t need to trouble yourself,” Severus said, blushing for some odd reason. “I know the way.”

“Indulge me,” James said and gently elbowed Severus’ side. “Let me make things up to you.”

“What things?” But Severus took James’ hand and allowed his master to guide him out of the room.

“For the way I acted back at school. I abandoned you. I should have sat you down to talk to you and explain everything that had happened. But instead, I ran and chose to ignore you. Remus lectured me more than once. You will be surprised to hear that even Sirius is on your side these days. Peter though, he is just plain weird.” That reminded him that they had to share a room again after the Christmas hols and he didn’t like that at all. Maybe, if he pleaded special circumstances, Dumbledore would allow Severus and he to share a room – just the two of them. He had the feeling Severus would continue to need some privacy. They had reached Severus’ room and James opened it. 

Severus wondered about the peculiar mood James was in. He stepped into the room and then turned around, waiting for… he didn’t know what he was waiting for to be honest. 

“Why don’t you get ready for bed?” James walked over to the tree and studied it. “Nice job!”

“Murky helped.” Following James’ instructions, Severus went into the bathroom to change and wash up. Once he was in his pajamas, he went over the bed and waited.

“Get comfortable, will you?” James suddenly realized it was weird for him to want to tuck Severus in, but he would feel better knowing the other boy safely asleep. 

Severus climbed into the bed, moved onto his side and pulled up the covers. James was acting odd – definitely out of character. 

“You can cuddle up to Fuzzy, you know. I don’t mind.” James sat down on the side of the bed and looked Severus over. Severus looked tired and a bit confused, but there was no fear or panic in those dark eyes.

“I can manage,” Severus whispered, wondering why James wasn’t leaving.

“Close your eyes,” James said as he reached for Severus’ hand. He rubbed the back and smiled smugly. Damn, he was getting good at this! “And relax,” he added. “I just want to make sure you get a night of peaceful sleep.”

“You are going to stay until I am asleep?” Severus couldn’t help himself and opened his eyes again to stare at his master. “Why would you do that?”

“Because I worry about you – and I… care.” Wow, admitting that hadn’t been as hard as he had expected it to be. “I care,” he repeated. “I want you to be comfortable.”

Severus’ heart did a funny thing – it skipped a beat. “Do you? Why?”

James shook his head, knowing Severus couldn’t believe him yet. It was still too early. “I must admit I rather like you. You are not as bad as I thought. Maybe if I hadn’t bullied you in the past, we might have become friends. I want that, you know. I want us to be friends.”

“Friends…” Severus dreamily repeated the word. “Murky agreed to be my friend.”

James chuckled. “And will you agree to be my friend in turn?” Trust that old house elf to find a way to befriend their suspicious guest!

Severus was lost for words. James wanted them to be friends? A master and his slave?

James had a good idea what was going on in Severus’ head. “I don’t think of you as a slave, Severus. I really don’t. And the last thing I want is to be your master. But I do want to be your friend. And if mum and dad really find a way to adopt you, that’s fine with me too. They’re right. I always did want a brother.” He could tell it was too much for Severus, but James didn’t care. He wanted Severus to know these things.

It was a bit much to take in. Only three months ago, they had been enemies. “I need time,” Severus whispered. If James’ words were true, he would give him the time he needed.

“You have got it, Severus.” James squeezed the other boy’s hand. “Do you think you can sleep now or do you want me to stay?”

He tended to have nightmares every night, but James didn’t need to know that. “I can manage.”

“Call Murky if you need me. He will get me.” James squeezed Severus’ hand one last time and then got to his feet. “I mean it. I don’t mind helping you with those nightmares.”

Severus watched James leave the room and felt bewildered. What had that been about? Why was James that worried about him all of a sudden? But now that he was alone, fear sneaked back in, making him remember what could happen if he displeased his master. Fuzzy sat in his corner and Severus glared at the cuddly toy. He wasn’t going to touch it! But after a few minutes, shivers racked his body and he reached for the stuffed animal anyway. He wrapped his arms around it and pressed close to it. It helped. He calmed down and closed his eyes, burying his nose in the cuddly toy. He drifted off into sleep, hoping that for once, there wouldn’t be any nightmares.

//

Murky leaned over a sleeping James Potter and poked his shoulder. “Wake up. You are needed.”

“Just five more minutes, mum!” James didn’t want to wake up. It was much too early! It was still dark outside and these were the holidays.

“Severus needs you. Get going!” Murky poked harder.

Hearing that name woke James at once. “Severus?” One look at Murky told him the house elf was upset. “Nightmares?” 

Murky nodded. “For the last ten minutes. He cast a silencing charm so you wouldn’t hear his screams.”

James sighed. “I wish he didn’t do that.” He sat up, swung his feet onto the floor, and rose from the bed. Although he was wearing his pajamas, he added a heavy, knitted sweater to keep warm. It got cold in the house at night. “I am on my way.”

Murky hummed his approval. “Be careful though. The nightmares seem worse than last night.”

“Thanks for the warning.” Hearing those words urged James into action. He ran down the corridor and came to an abrupt stop, hoping Severus hadn’t warded his door. To his relief, the doorknob turned and he stepped inside. Severus was thrashing on the bed and Fuzzy had ended up in a corner of the room. One hand clawed at his face while the other seemed to fend off an invisible attacker. James had a pretty good idea whom Severus was trying to fight off. He winced at seeing the blood on the face. Severus’ sharp fingernails had cut his facial skin. This was much worse than last night and James wasn’t sure he could do this alone. Maybe he needed his dad. 

Severus screamed again, but remained silent due to the silencing charm. James terminated the spell and Severus’ scream ripped through the house. That would bring his parents down for sure. James headed for the bed and sat down on the side. He doubted touching Severus was a good idea right now. If Severus was indeed trying to fight off Lucius in his dreams, he might end up attacking him. James focused his feelings; he tried to radiate calm and acceptance. “Severus, you’re having a nightmare. You need to wake up now.” Severus didn’t react, so James repeated the words over and over again. 

Ben watched from the doorway. At hearing Severus’ screams he had rushed down, but finding James already present, he decided to wait before intervening. Maybe his son could handle this. It would be best for Severus if the two of them became friends and learned to trust each other.

“Severus, you are safe with me. Please wake up and open your eyes.” James knew that touching Severus might provoke an attack, but he had little choice now that his words failed to reach the sleeping boy. Slowly, he wrapped his fingers around Severus’ hand and rubbed the back, just like he had done the night before. Severus’ reaction was trying to break free, but then he stilled and seemed to calm down. James wondered just how strong his touch affected Severus. If a mere touch calmed Severus to such a degree and so quickly, what else could touching him do? He knew that he had to find out at some point, but now wasn’t the time.

Ben took a step away from the doorway now that James seemed to have reached Severus. But he didn’t leave yet; he continued to keep an eye on them.

The pain suddenly left. One moment he had been in excruciating agony and the next, it was gone. One moment Lucius had finally become fed up with torturing him and was going to use his body, the next, he felt at peace. Severus had never felt so confused before and then, suddenly, he registered a voice. It wasn’t Lucius’. This voice had an entrancing quality to it and it managed to settle his nerves. Growing curious as to whom that voice belonged, Severus opened his eyes, only to stare at James, sitting next to him and crooning reassuringly. Suddenly, the past events came rushing back to him. Lucius had let him go – had handed him to Potter because of a life debt and his new master… His new master had been kind to him. The whole family had treated him with respect. 

“Hello again,” James whispered, feeling a tad awkward as Severus was giving him a rather odd look. “Remember me? Remember where you are?”

Yes, he did, but he felt dazed nonetheless. That nightmare had been so real. He had been back in those dungeons and at Lucius’ mercy. “I do,” he whispered and cringed at hearing his broken voice. He trembled, and desperately tried to hide his distress.

James drew in a deep breath. There was no way he could leave Severus to fighting those fears on his own. “Move over,” he said, suspecting Severus might misinterpret that order. “I am not about to touch you against your will. I will most certainly not torture you or force you. I thought, it might be a good idea to hold you though.” Severus’ eyes grew impossibly wide, but he did move, creating ample space for James to make himself comfortable.

Hold him? Not torture him? Won’t force him? Severus wasn’t sure he was ready to believe that, but so far the Potters had treated him very decently. There was no way he could ignore a direct order like that and prayed Madam Pomfrey had been right when she said that James Potter would never hurt him. 

James realized how fragile the trust was he was given and vowed not to abuse it. He lay down on his side and gently pulled Severus against him. Facing each other, James took a moment to study the dark expression in those eyes. Severus seemed on guard, but not on the brink of another anxiety attack. Maybe Severus was beginning to trust him? “I just want to hold you. Maybe it will keep the nightmares at bay, and if it doesn’t, at least we will have tried. We will find another way for you to sleep peacefully. Maybe a potion?”

Severus bit onto his bottom lip. “I build up a resistance to a lot of them,” he admitted. “I had to swallow them too often.”

Doubtlessly because Lucius had made him, James realized. “Maybe dad will invent a new one.” He could tell that Severus wanted to speak, but felt too shy to do so. “You can tell me.”

“Thank you,” Severus mumbled, “for not using this to your advantage.” He swallowed nervously, wondering if making himself this vulnerable would backfire on him. “Thank you for not hurting me.”

A lump of emotions formed in James’ throat and it was hard to find the right words. “I will never hurt you on purpose. I promise you that. I will do my utmost to keep you safe and protect you. Not because of the slave-bond, but because you…” He shrugged, lost for words. “Since I have gotten to know you better, I realized I like you.”

Severus managed a weak smile. “I like you too. Since you stopped bullying me, I…” He blushed.

James’ smile was genuinely warm when he said, “Friends then?”

“Friends,” Severus confirmed happily. When James had become his master, he hadn’t thought his life would change for the better because of it. James tucked his head against his shoulder and Severus didn’t resist. The slave-bond was actually working in their advantage. James cared about him, wanted him to sleep peacefully and the bond reacted to that, projecting calm and acceptance. “I think I am falling asleep again.” He didn’t want that though, afraid as he was that the nightmares would return. 

“I have got you,” James promised as he rubbed his companion’s back. “I will look after you. I will wake you should you have another nightmare, but I don’t think they will return. Try to sleep, Severus.” By the time he had finished talking, Severus’ slowing breath told him the other boy was asleep again. 

“You did well, son.” Ben soundlessly made his way over to them. “I am glad you accept this wholeheartedly. Your acceptance will strengthen him and Severus will finally get a chance to heal. Don’t abandon him though, James. He might not survive you turning his back on him. Not in his current frame of mind.”

“I know we have rough times ahead,” James confessed, not surprised his dad had watched them. “But I am ready to do this. I have changed too, dad.”

Ben nodded. “You have.” He stroked his son’s hair and kissed his brow, ignoring James’ objections at being kissed. “Sleep tight, son.”

James merely grumbled. “Go to bed yourself,” he muttered. His father had kissed him goodnight when he had been much younger. There was no need for him to start doing it again!

Ben chuckled and left the two of them to their rest.

//

James had to admit sleeping in the same bed as Severus wasn’t the worst thing in the world. The fact that he was able to ensure Severus slept through the night without any nightmares made him feel accomplished. He used to help Remus in a similar way when they were at Hogwarts, but this felt different. This was much more rewarding. 

“Wipe that smirk off your face,” Murky said, but with an accompanying grin to take out the sting. “You did well, yes, but there is no reason to flaunt it.”

James smirked. “I did well, didn’t I?” 

“Thankfully for Severus you did.” Murky watched them. “You look rather comfortable.”

“I didn’t think I would be, but you’re right.” James then realized his predicament. “What do I do now?”

“Wake him. It’s time for breakfast at any rate.” Murky returned to the kitchen in order to prepare their food.

“Wake him…” James suddenly realized just closely they had snuggled up during the night. His body reacted to Severus’ body warmth and he cringed, not wanting Severus to wake up to him being erect. “Go away,” he ordered, but his teenage, hormone driven body refused to react. “That’s just great. Not now! Go away!” 

Severus studied his master through half closed eyelids. James’ erection poked against his stomach, and in the past, he would have assumed the worst, but listening to James, he realized his companion felt embarrassed instead of horny. “It is quite normal,” he said, hoping to take away his master’s distress.

James froze and then cringed. “You’re awake.”

“Well, yes, is that a problem?” Severus frowned.

“Can’t you pretend being asleep while I deal with this?” James blushed, his embarrassment getting the better of him. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. It doesn’t mean a thing. It’s a normal reaction.” Finally facing Severus’ gaze, he was relieved to see the other boy grin instead of growing panicked. 

Severus did wonder why James was that flustered. “You do realize you have every right to use me any way you see fit?” It was odd, but he felt safe. Somehow, he knew that James wasn’t going to take advantage of him. 

James cringed again. His facial features contorted. “That would be so wrong! It’s okay to have sex,” his voice trembled upon speaking that last word, “but only when it means something. When you are in love. When you deeply care about the other person.”

“You’re a romantic,” Severus realized. Lily was one fortunate girl to have ensnared a price like that. Did she know how lucky she was?

And James realized something of his own. Severus had never made love. He had been used and abused, raped and tortured, but James doubted Severus had ever been touched in love. “I am still a virgin,” he blurted out for no particular reason. “I won’t hurt you that way – ever.”

“A virgin?” James’ revelation utterly surprised Severus. 

“Yes, I don’t sleep around. I want things to be right when I make love one day. I want to find the right person to be with first.”

Severus gave James a sad smile. “I hope you will find her. Maybe Lily…?” James blushed and Severus’ smile brightened somewhat. “I am sure the two of you will be very happy.”

“Maybe… I know she likes me and I like her, but I don’t know if it’s just my hormones talking.” That fear had been clawing at him for some time. 

Severus couldn’t believe he WAS going to offer, but… “I can relieve you of your tension, if you want me to.” His hand sneaked towards his master’s groin. He could deal with this. He could… He pulled his hand away as if burned upon encountering James’ erection. Unwanted memories flooded his mind and made him groan in pain. Lucius, making him suck him until the last droplet had been milked from his cock. Another face appeared, name long forgotten, to force him onto his hands and knees and then the pain, which had ripped him apart.

James cradled Severus’ face in his hands, realizing the offer the other boy had made, had triggered his memories. “Severus, you’re safe with me. Those men can’t hurt you anymore. They’re memories, nothing else. Come on, don’t do this! Listen to me.” James was about to call for Murky so the house elf could get his dad when Severus stilled again. Those dark eyes still swam in fear though. “You’re fine. You’re safe. I have got you. Nothing’s going to happen in this bed except for me holding you until you’re calm again.”

Slowly regaining his senses, Severus felt terribly ashamed. “I am sorry,” he managed in between his sped up breathing, which caused him to gasp. “I’m sorry, master. Please…”

“You’re safe with me, Severus. Everything’s fine. You’re going to calm down and then we will have breakfast. It’s the day before Christmas. We’re going to spend it as a family. Please calm down.”

James’ voice did the trick and helped Severus regain his control. The memories were still present in the back of his mind, waging a war with the hope that James wouldn’t punish him. “I’m sorry. I had another fit.”

“You suffered a flashback. I reckon this won’t be the last time either. But that’s all right. I’m here to support you.” James was only now beginning to understand the responsibility he had taken on regarding Severus. If he wanted to do this properly, Severus had to be his priority for now. He had to let go of his thoughts of Lily. He had to put the other boy first. “Severus, you don’t have to touch me intimately. I will never ask that of you and you don’t need to offer. Do you understand?”

“No… Yes, I don’t know,” Severus felt terribly lost.

“That’s fine,” James quickly assured him. “You will understand in time. Now, why don’t you take a quick shower and join me in the kitchen? Murky is probably waiting for us.” Well, the house elf would be waiting for them now, as Murky undoubtedly had noticed Severus’ anxiety attack. James hoped that Murky’s presence would make feel Severus more at ease.

“I can do that.” But Severus remained where he was and didn’t move.

James drew in a deep breath. “Take all the time you need.” He didn’t move away. He merely kept up the embrace, knowing it was what Severus needed. “You have all the time you need.”

Severus searched James’ eyes and saw the truth there. James meant every word he said.

//

James felt relieved when he finally heard Severus turn on the shower. The last ten minutes had been tense. He had kept Severus buried in an embrace until the other boy finally moved away. James now wondered how to proceed. Severus offering to give him a hand job had rattled him. He knew what Severus had been subjected to as Malfoy’s slave, but he had never expected him to offer to bring him to orgasm. It didn’t surprise him that the offer had brought on a panic attack. Severus had been a slave for fifteen years and James knew how deep the torture had run; had seen it with his own eyes. He was definitely out of his league, and as he didn’t want to make things accidentally worse, he acknowledged that he needed help. “Murky?”

Murky apparated and gave his young master a troubled look. He knew what had happened moments earlier and worried about Severus. “How can I help?”

“Tell my dad what happened here and ask him to join us in the kitchen for breakfast. I need to talk to him and I suspect that Severus does too.”

“I will,” Murky replied and disapparated. 

James got to his feet and walked over to the window. Everything seemed so peaceful. The snow was virginal and undisturbed, and the glittering cold added an almost transcendent sensation to the winter landscape. 

“I am sorry for what happened earlier.”

Severus’ words made him turn around. The dark-haired boy stood in the doorway. He’d slipped into a dressing robe which was too large for his bony body and the long, black hair clung to his face, still damp from the shower. The onyx eyes stared at the floor and Severus radiated a sense of unease and guilt. James knew he had to take action at once. He couldn’t let the young wizard drown in shame, guilt and fear. “I don’t mind,” he started. “I understand that you need to work through fifteen years of pain. I won’t get mad because you suffer from flashbacks. I won’t punish you because you have anxiety attacks. Instead, I hope you will accept my friendship and support.”

At hearing that, Severus raised his gaze and tentatively made eye contact. He was scared to believe James was for real. No one had ever offered him their support before and he feared what was to become of him if he indeed allowed himself to trust James. “I am scared,” he admitted at last. “I am scared that this is just a game to you.” If James was merely playing mind games that comment would surely get him punished. A slave talking back in that fashion was unheard of.

“It’s not,” James said firmly. “I have changed, in case you haven’t noticed.” James nibbled nervously on his bottom lip. “I was a bully. I apologize for that. It won’t happen ever again.” He took a step towards Severus and rested a hand on the other boy’s shoulder. “I don’t want to be your master either. I don’t condone slavery.” Severus shuddered and James squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. “I’d rather be your friend and protector.” Severus’ eyes widened dramatically. “Yes, I’m serious.”

Severus found it hard to believe, but everything James had done – since becoming his master – pointed in that direction. James had watched out for him on more than one occasion. 

“Why don’t you get dressed? I am hungry and Murky’s waiting for us in the kitchen.” To his relief Severus nodded. James turned around in order to give the other boy some privacy while getting dressed, and sat on the bed, hoping his father knew how to proceed from here.

//

Ben sat at the kitchen table and nursed a cup of hot tea after adding several spoonfuls of sugar to it. He needed it after listening to Murky’s tale. He had known that it was just a matter of time before Severus suffered another flashback, but what surprised him was the situation that had caused it. He looked up the moment James and Severus entered the kitchen. Severus looked tired and dark circles had formed beneath his eyes. James looked fatigued too, but not to that extent. His son was in for a rough ride and Ben had the feeling James was beginning to realize that. “Good morning, sit down and eat.” He signaled Murky to serve breakfast.

Severus waited for James to sit down first and only then seated himself. He wasn’t hungry, but suspected they would make him eat anyway. Murky placed a plate filled with toast, sausages, scrambled eggs, cheese, and sliced fruit in front of him. There was no way he could ever finish that!

James started on his breakfast, but noticed Severus’ trepidation. “I know you don’t feel like eating, but do try to manage a little bit.”

Severus nodded and picked up a slice of buttered toast. He nibbled on it and it took most of his self-discipline to swallow it in their presence. He no longer thought they expected payment for the food, but the fear remained in the back of his mind. He still expected the worst, if he was honest with himself. 

Ben and James exchanged a look. Ben knew he had to make the first step – after all, he was the adult and even more importantly, he had been imprisoned himself. “You are looking a little pale and rather tired, Severus. Didn’t you sleep well?” Severus immediately stopped eating and panic appeared in his dark eyes. Ben felt sorry for putting it there, but ignoring the matter wouldn’t make it go away.

Severus grew nauseous. He should have known that there would be repercussions. “I am sorry for losing control. Please forgive me.” He rested his hands in his lap, bowed his head in submission, and waited for what was to come.

Alarmed, James reached out and gently gathered one of Severus’ hands in his. “Nobody’s angry with you. We just want to help.”

Severus shivered at the physical contact. In the past, the only times he had been touched was in order to deliver his punishment. He didn’t know what to make of James claiming his hand like that. 

Ben realized that only too well. He also knew that it might take Severus years to trust him. Until that time, fear would be his constant companion and nothing Ben said or did would change that. That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try. “James is right. We aren’t mad with you. We just want to help.”

Severus didn’t raise his gaze. This was too good to be true. He felt lost for words and merely waited for them to speak again. 

“Try to eat some more,” Ben encouraged him. “You need the energy the food provides. James and I will leave, that should make eating easier on you.” He noticed the way James rubbed Severus’ hand and nodded approvingly. The fact that Severus didn’t flinch away from the touch encouraged him. 

“I’m not hungry,” Severus admitted. “I’m nauseous. If I eat now I’ll be sick.” He didn’t want to create even more problems for himself.

Ben sighed deeply. Severus really needed to start eating again. “Fine, but do try to eat something later – in an hour so. You can’t do without the food.”

Severus nodded obediently. “I will.” He would try, but wasn’t sure he would manage.

Ben leaned in closer and Severus instantly moved back, trying to create more distance between them. Seeing that reaction pained Ben. “Would you like to spend the rest of the morning in the library then?” That offer did get him a reaction. Severus finally looked at him and Ben thought he saw something like hope in those dark eyes.

“I would love to,” Severus admitted. “Your book collection… I never saw anything like it. You have books even Hogwarts doesn’t have access to.” 

Ben smiled. Maybe he had found a way to reach Severus after all. “Would you also like access to my lab?” Severus’ eyes showed disbelief. “I will supervise,” he added, recalling Severus had accidentally almost blown up the lab.

“You’d do that? I always dreamt that…” Severus stopped himself short. It wouldn’t do to speak of hopes and dreams which would never come true. He was a slave and Mr. Potter would never accept him as an apprentice. It was best not to get his hopes up. 

But Ben had a pretty good idea what was going on in Severus’ head. “Maybe we can brew a potion together – the day after tomorrow. Christmas is up first.”

“Of course, I won’t get in the way.” Thinking his master would set aside any family affair in order to supervise him brewing was ridiculous.

“Actually I want you to join us. You may spend the rest of the morning in the library, but I want you to join us after you had lunch. We are going outside to harvest some mistletoe and other decorations. I want you to be there.”

Severus didn’t understand why his presence was required, but he complied – of course. “I will be there.”

Ben nodded again. “Finish your tea and then you can go the library.” Severus finished his tea as quickly as possible, despite it still being hot. Ben wanted to caution him, but those dark eyes shone with excitement at the prospect of revisiting the library.

“Finished,” Severus proclaimed. “May I leave now?”

“Be off then,” Ben said and watched Severus jump to his feet and run into the corridor. Once Severus was out of hearing range, Ben addressed his son. “How bad was it?”

“Pretty bad,” James replied, understanding the question perfectly. “I’d say he had a full blown panic attack. He offered to…” He blushed, “You know, “ he resorted to gestures instead of speaking the words. “The moment he touched me, he panicked.”

“You have to be careful around him. What happened to make him offer?”

“I told him I was a virgin,” James muttered, ill at ease. “And that I’m not sure I like Lily because of her character or because of my hormones acting up.”

“You couldn’t know what he was going to do,” Ben tried to comfort him. “Don’t feel guilty about it. You’re actually doing rather well. The fact that he doesn’t flinch when you touch him is quite the achievement. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.”

“Thanks, dad,” James said, still blushing weakly. “I thought comforting him would make me uncomfortable, but that’s not the case. I like being able to help. He’s actually a nice guy. I didn’t know that.”

Ben rested his hand on his son’s. “You do realize that you’re quickly becoming his lifeline? Son, you hold the key to his recovery.”

“I don’t want to mess this up,” James admitted and gave his dad a pleading look. “I worry about doing the wrong thing.”

Ben curled his fingers around his son’s. “Just keep in mind *why* you’re doing this. You’re supporting him because you care about him.”

“I do. I never thought it would happen, but I do.”

“That’s all that matters, son. As long as you care, you won’t mess up.”

//

Severus realized his time was up when Murky appeared and told him to eat lunch in the kitchen. He regretting having to leave the library. These last few hours had been bliss and he would forever treasure them. Murky gave him an odd look when he closed the book. Maybe it was the sigh that had escaped his lips, which made Murky snort. 

“Don’t be like that. You can always come back to read more.”

“You don’t understand,” Severus whispered, barely audibly. “This is heaven.”

Murky didn’t object, knowing the young wizard had found some measure of peace in the library, but he also knew hiding wouldn’t help Severus heal in the long run. Instead of disapparating to the kitchen, Murky raised his right hand and offered it to the young man. “Come with me. You must be hungry.”

Severus was about to deny that when his stomach emitted a serious of angry growls. He blushed, realizing Murky would have caught him lying. “I’m not sure I can eat though.” He still felt nauseous. 

“We will find a way.” Murky pulled Severus to his feet and guided him through the corridors and into the kitchen. “Sit,” he ordered as he pointed at the table. 

Severus did as ordered, but his stomach was already acting up. “I will be sick if I eat something.” 

“We will see,” Murky said in a neutral voice. He placed a bowl of tomato soup in front of his charge. “Eat that. It’s hot and will fill you up without making you feel too full.” He added a slice of thick bread. “Take all the time you need.” Murky turned away and busied himself at the sink, hoping Severus felt more at ease without being watched.

Severus took hold of the spoon, dipped it in the soup, and tried to fight down the nausea. Why was he this spooked?

“You need to eat, you know. If you don’t, you will grow even weaker,” Murky muttered from beneath his breath. “You will waste away. There will be nothing left of you. Do you really want him to win?”

Severus blinked. “Whom are you talking about?”

“Your former master.” Murky carefully avoiding mentioning Lucius, knowing Severus wouldn’t even manage a single spoonful if he heard that name. “You are stronger than that. You need to fight back.”

Severus stared at the soup, his eyes growing moist with tears, which he refused to shed. He had been crying too often lately. His current master would become fed up with him eventually. “You are wrong. I am not that strong.” He felt broken. 

Murky turned around, walked over to the table, and sat down opposite the young wizard, who still refused to make eye contact. “You are strong, Severus. You can fight back. You have a family to back you up. None of the Potters think of you as a slave. If it were up to them, they would legally adopt you. James isn’t averse to that idea. All three of them want you to fight back. They want you to be a part of their lives. It is up to you though. We can’t force you to fight for your happiness. If you’d rather be submissive, than we can’t help you.” 

Severus swallowed hard; he wasn’t panicking, but he felt horrible nonetheless. “You overestimate my strength.” 

“No, I don’t.” Murky pushed the bowl with soup toward Severus. “Eat, Severus. You need to join the living again.” Seeing the huge tears that rolled down the young wizard’s face didn’t surprise him. He had hoped something like that would happen. “Benjamin Potter is an honorable wizard, who doesn’t lie. He spoke the truth when he said that you are safe. Evelyn Potter…” Murky considered his words. “She would love to hold you and keep you safe. She’s a good witch. And James…” Murky was pleased when Severus timidly raised his gaze in curiosity. “He likes you. He cares about you, and before you accuse me of being a liar, James told his father so after you left.”

“I am scared,” Severus admitted, bowing his head again. “I don’t know how to act the way around them. I am a slave. No one ever included me in their lives. I always watched from the outside.”

“You will learn,” Murky said and gently rubbed Severus’ shoulder. “And one day, you will realize you are a part of the family.” 

Severus doubted that day would ever come. There was no reason for the Potters to include him in their lives. He was a slave. The best he could hope for was a life without too much pain.

//

Severus shuffled his feet nervously. He had followed his master’s order to join them at one o’clock, but now that he stood in the doorway, he didn’t know what to do. The urge to kneel became too strong and he gave in, kneeling and bending from the hip, bowing deeply with his brow touching the floor.

Evelyn noticed his arrival first and her heart twitched painfully in her chest. She knew why he was acting that way. Severus felt lost and clung to the one thing that had offered him safety in the past; utter submission. She was about to walk over to him when her husband shook his head. 

“Let James deal with this,” Ben whispered as he wrapped an arm around his wife’s waist. His heart went out to Severus as well, but he knew it was James who had to find a way to reach Severus. 

James drew in a deep breath, wondering about what to do. In the end, he walked over to Severus and lowered himself onto his heels. Carefully, he folded an around Severus’ shoulders and pulled him upright. “What’s wrong?” he asked once they were face to face. Severus however refused to meet his gaze and continued to stare at the floor. “Severus, you are safe.”

Severus shuddered. Safe… Was he really safe?

“Look at me, will you?” James cooked his head and tried to catch the other boy’s gaze. “Severus, you don’t need to be scared. You are among friends. No one will hurt you.” The shivers that shook Severus’ body worsened and James promptly wrapped him up in an embrace – not thinking it over, merely acting on instinct.

Ben held his breath, hoping the move wouldn’t backfire on his son, but Severus sagged against James and accepted the hug. 

“That’s it. Relax. You are safe with me. I won’t hurt you. I won’t grow mad with you. I won’t punish you. You are safe with me,” James said firmly, hoping he was actually reaching the scared young wizard. He pulled Severus closer to his chest and held him. 

Severus found it hard to believe that this was actually happening. Instead of growing angry with him and punishing him for his erratic behavior, his master was comforting him, offering him support. He didn’t understand any of it. 

James rubbed Severus’ tense back and waited for the muscles to finally loosen up. Severus suddenly moaned and collapsed against him. “Dad, give me a hand, please?”

Ben moved over to them and helped James to get Severus up from the floor. “The sofa,” he hinted. They supported Severus, who barely seemed able to put one foot in front of the other.

Severus felt dizzy. He felt afloat. He didn’t understand why they were so gently with him. 

“Lie down,” James instructed and helped Severus to find a comfortable position. “The sofa is comfortable and a very good spot for a nice nap. I should know - I often fall asleep on it.” James kept up the mumbling and watched Severus curl up on his side. “Dad, blanket?”

Ben collected a quilt and covered Severus with it. He gave James an approving nod when his son sat down as well, guiding Severus’ head against his thigh.

Although this felt odd, James reminded himself why this was necessary. Severus needed all the support he could get. “You should take a nap. Close your eyes and try to sleep.”

Severus didn’t understand why they were this lenient with him. He was a slave! A fucking worthless slave, and yet they treated him like he was a member of the family. It had to be a dream. This couldn’t be happening!

“Severus, stop fretting,” Evelyn said as she bend down to caress his face. “Rest. If you can’t sleep, that’s fine too, but try to calm down and accept what we are offering.”

Severus pinched his eyes tightly shut. This was impossible. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t think of a reason why his mistress would kiss his brow or why his master kept rubbing his back. They should be furious with him! They should be whipping him instead, just like Lu… He couldn’t finish the name. Tears dripped from beneath his close eyelids. He just wanted to die. 

//

James knew Severus was awake. The young wizard felt still tense against him, but the tears had stopped and the tremors lessened. Severus was quietly taking in his surroundings and probably trying to make sense of everything that had happened to him. James didn’t pressure him. He merely held him in a loose embrace, propped up as they were against the comfort of the sofa. His fingers moved through the long, black hair and occasionally massaged Severus’ neck. His parents were playing a game of wizard’s chess in order to take the focus away from Severus’ anxiety attack. Severus shifted in his arms and James waited for the other boy to either acknowledge or ignore him. 

Severus realized he couldn’t stall forever. His nerves had settled somewhat and he felt odd. Part of him felt numb, but another thoroughly enjoyed his master holding him. He was no fool. He knew what James doing. It was an essential part of the slave-bond; his master had complete control over his nervous system when he touched him. If James wanted to, he could make him writhe in pain by merely touching him. The fact that James used this ability in order to calm him down confused him. At Malfoy manor they had delighted in seeing him cower in pain. 

James tilted his head in order to make eye contact. He doubted Severus would meet his gaze and was surprised to find those dark eyes focusing on him. “I am going to ask Murky for some tea. Do you want some too?”

Severus nodded. That strange sensation running through his veins made him feel relaxed. “Yes,” he whispered, while searching James’ eyes. His master had told him he cared about him, and to some extent Severus was inclined to believe him, but did James really care so much about him that he had held him during several hours? 

Murky, having overheard the request, opted for hot chocolate instead. “You need something sweet,” he commented as he slipped the mug into Severus’ hand. “Wait for it to cool down though.”

James nodded his thanks and the house elf left. “How are you feeling, Sev?”

Severus’ eyes widened in surprise. What had his master called him? Sev? 

James grinned, knowing damn well what had surprised the other boy. “I rather like Sev. Doesn’t sound as severe as Severus. Do you mind me calling you that?”

In order to buy himself some time, Severus blew onto the hot surface of his drink. “I don’t,” he whispered eventually. “You can name me whatever you want.”

“But do you like it? Or do you prefer me to use Severus instead?” James wasn’t giving up that easily.

“I don’t mind,” Severus assured his master and then sipped from the hot chocolate. 

James reminded himself not to grow frustrated. Severus had been conditioned for fifteen years. Pleasing his master and obeying his every whim was deeply engrained on the young wizard. “It’s almost time for dinner,” he said, wanting Severus to have a choice in joining them or not.

“I don’t think I can eat.” He was too upset to keep anything down. Eating alone wouldn’t help either. “But I like the hot chocolate.”

“Then have some more.” James urged him to sip some more. Maybe a midnight snack would go down better – later. “I don’t know about you, but I am rather comfortable like this.”

Severus blinked and turned his head before fully realizing what he was doing. “How can you?”

James shrugged and his grin brightened. “I am warm and comfortable and holding you is okay.” To his surprise, Severus grew flustered. “I mean it. I don’t mind being there for you in this way. Actually, I am rather relieved you are letting me comfort you.”

Severus looked away again and nibbled on his bottom lip. “I like not being afraid for a change. When you hold me like this… When you touch me…”

“You know what’s going on, don’t you?” James hadn’t been completely sure. “You aren’t mad with me for manipulating your nervous system like that?”

Now it was Severus’ turn to shrug. “You are my master. You have complete control over me because I am a slave. I am…” He found it hard to find the correct word. “I am relieved you choose to comfort me instead of…”

“I will never abuse that power in a way that would hurt you,” James vowed passionately. “I meant what I said earlier. I want to be your friend, and if I can, to protect you. That’s what friends do – they keep each other safe from harm.” Something in Severus’ posture changed. James couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but something was different. “And I do consider you a friend. I would have realized that sooner if I hadn’t bullied you.”

Severus no longer thought James was trying to play mind games with him. He had realized by now that James wasn’t like that. Yet, to accept that his master wanted to be his friend and protector confused him. 

James sucked in his breath when Severus’ black eyes focused him. For once, they were free of fear or anxiety, and they were simply probing him. 

“You do realize I am a slave? You do know that you can do with me whatever you want? I have no rights whatsoever. No one will blame you for hurting me.”

“I am not like that. I bullied you, yes, but that was before I realized what Malfoy had done to you. It was my idea to trade my dad’s life debt for your safety. My parents didn’t make me. It was my idea. I wanted to do this.”

Severus cringed at being reminded that the Potters had traded away their life debt for him. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

“What?” Ben moved closer and pulled up a chair, as he was under the impression James needed a little support.

“Trade your life debt for me. You got a bad deal out of it.” Severus lowered his gaze and stared at the floor.

“I don’t agree,” Ben said in a caring voice. “It was the best deal of my life.” As he had hoped, hearing that made Severus look up at him in surprise. “When James told me what he had done – accidentally revealing your secret – I didn’t hesitate when he asked me if I knew of a way to make things up to you. I am grateful that life debt saved you from the Malfoys.”

Severus failed to stop the tears from rising in his eyes. No, he didn’t want to cry. Not again! He had to stop crying! 

Ben signaled James to take over and his son wrapped Severus in an even tighter embrace, guiding the dark head towards a shoulder. Ben briefly squeezed Severus’ shoulder and then joined his wife again. 

Evelyn had watched from a distance and gave him a sympathetic smile. “It takes time, you of all people should know that.” She had fought hard for two long years, but in the end, she had reclaimed her husband’s soul and love. 

Ben nodded. “But it is even harder for Severus. I was Grindelwald’s prisoner for 8 years, Evelyn, Severus was Malfoys’ slave for fifteen. He doesn’t know what it is like to live a normal life. To be freeborn.”

Evelyn wished she could help Severus, but only James could do that.

//

James stayed on the sofa with Severus while his parents had dinner in the dining room. He wasn’t particularly hungry and he could always ask Murky to bring him food.

“You don’t have to stay with me. You should join your parents and have dinner.” Severus felt guilty. Because of him, James wasn’t able to eat dinner.

“I am fine with missing out on dinner. Going without it won’t kill me.” But Malfoy had starved Severus. “On the other hand, you definitely need to start eating.” 

Severus bowed his head guiltily. “Maybe I can try.”

James felt elevated at hearing that. “Murky?” 

The house elf had already anticipated the order and appeared balancing a tray, filled to the brim with all kinds of different food. “Both of you should eat.” He placed the tray on Severus’ lap and gave him a crooked grin. “I recommend the Sheppard’s pie.”

“Thank you,” Severus said and picked up a fork. “I will try.”

After Murky left, James picked up the other fork and speared a potato. “I can leave you alone if that makes it easier.”

Severus sighed. He had trouble eating, whether he was alone or not. James couldn’t possibly understand the flashbacks having food in his mouth caused.

“How about I feed you?” James offered the piece of potato to Severus.

Severus stared at his master in surprise. “Feed…” He didn’t get far as James stuffed the potato into his mouth.

“Now, munch.” James grinned and selected a potato slice for himself.

James’ antics surprised him to such an extent that Severus obeyed. He chewed and swallowed the food. The memories left him alone, and stunned, he stared at James.

James noticed the ease with which Severus had eaten that slice. “How about some pie?” The moment Severus opened his mouth, either to speak or accept the food, he slipped the pie into the other boy’s mouth. “Is it any good?” Severus was too busy chewing to answer James. James took it as another victory and tried the pie as well. “Tastes good, don’t you think?”

Severus accepted the situation for what it was. James’ hand rested on his wrist, calming him and keeping any unpleasant memories from overwhelming him. He should mind being manipulated to such an extent, but his starved body rejoiced at being fed. “It’s good,” he agreed and obediently opened up when James fed him another bite.

Although James would be happy to continue feeding his companion, he felt it was imperative that Severus started eating on his own. “You got a fork too.”

Severus knew that. He was about to object, tell James he’d had enough when a series of loud, demanding growls ripped from his stomach, making it very clear that it demanded food.

James sensed the surrender the moment Severus gripped his fork. He smiled, overjoyed at having found a way to make his charge eat. Knowing Murky the way he did, the house elf would be back soon with dessert.

//

Severus moaned the moment another plate appeared, filled with thin pancakes, fruit and ice cream. “It’s too much,” he complained.

James wasn’t going to argue. Severus had eaten an acceptable amount so far. “Eat one of them –the pancake, the ice cream or the fruit,” he urged. 

Severus knew people thought he was too skinny, but he actually weighed more these days than ever before. Severus sighed and opted for the least filling of the three. He ate most of the fruit and then dropped his fork onto the plate. “I am about to explode,” he said, hoping James had pity on him.

James smiled. “You did well. You surprised yourself, didn’t you?” He had finished as well and the plates returned to the kitchen.

“I did. But I only managed to eat that much because you wanted me to.”

James nodded. “Do you mind though?”

“Not really,” Severus felt stuffed to the rim. How was he ever going to move?

“You need the food and you know it. We are going to do this again when it’s time for breakfast. I want you to add some pounds before this holiday is over.”

“I am already at my heaviest,” Severus muttered. “I don’t think I ever weighed this much.”

James grew concerned; Severus was still underweight. His hatred for the Malfoys doubled. “You are still underweight, Sev.” The young wizard sought out his eyes again, and James felt relieved at realizing that Severus felt comfortable around him at the moment.

“I wouldn’t know,” he admitted. “These last two months I have eaten more than in the last two years.”

James drew in a deep breath and counted to ten – very slowly. “In that case, we will just make sure you continue to eat. You need to add at least a stone. Your shoulder blades and ribs are sticking out. They shouldn’t do that.” James held his breath upon sensing Severus turn in the embrace until they were face to face. Severus studied him and his eyes took on a rather moist shimmer.

“You really do care about me, don’t you? You really want to look after me and make sure I am well.”

James nodded and thanked the bond for helping him convey that message to Severus. He hated the slave-bond, but for once it was working to his advantage. “I do, yes. And my parents do too.”

“This is unexpected,” Severus whispered, trying to make sense of this revelation. “I never thought I would ever encounter someone who would worry about me. Madam Pomfrey likes me, but that is purely professional. With you, it is different.” Severus tentatively met James’ gaze. “What do you plan on doing with me?”

“Seeing you healed – in body and soul. I know it will take time and I am ready to make that commitment. We will work something out once we return to Hogwarts, but I will make sure you don’t have to share with the rest of the group. I will ask the Headmaster if the two of us can share a room.”

“You have thought this through,” Severus realized, surprised.

“Yes, I am taking this seriously,” James confirmed. “Maybe Dumbledore will agree to home school you. My mum is wicked at Charms and Transfigurations and my dad can handle any potion lessons Slughorn deals out.”

Severus blinked. He didn’t know how he felt about that. “I don’t know,” he said, rather carefully watching James’ reaction to that. “I like Hogwarts. I like the library and Madam Pomfrey.”

“But…?” James urged him on to speak his mind.

“Studying with Mr. Potter would be a dream come true,” Severus admitted. “And your library is amazing.”

“And there will be no one messing with you.” James thought back to Rosier hexing Severus. “I won’t make that decision for you though. I want you to carefully consider it and then tell me what you want. And no, I don’t have a preference. This is about what you want, Sev.”

“No one ever told me that before,” Severus confessed and bit onto his bottom lip. “Making decisions was never required from me. I don’t know how to approach this.”

“You have two weeks to figure it out and I will help. Mum and dad too, and Murky will definitely speak his mind.” James marveled at the ease with which he brushed the long, dark hair behind Severus’ ear. “Mum and dad will be back soon.”

Severus continued to search James’ eyes for some hidden agenda, but didn’t find anything. “What will happen for the rest of the evening? Am I required to stay?”

“I think so,” James said and offered his companion a reassuring smile. “Mum is going to read us her favorite Christmas story, then we will get a present and it’s off to bed. In the morning, we can open the rest of the gifts. And yes, you’re getting some too,” he added upon seeing Severus object. “Look over there.” He let Severus go the moment the other wizard tried to leave the sofa. Seeing the wonder in those dark eyes, James knew what was going on in that head of his. He followed Severus to the small pile of presents that sat next to his. “Those are yours.”

Severus twisted his neck in such a way that he could read the label, and yes, those wrapped gifts had his name on them. “How can this be?”

“Mum, dad, McGonagall, Dumbledore, Remus and I reckon even Sirius sent you something.” James grew sad at seeing the disbelief on Severus’ face. “You never celebrated Christmas, did you? You never got any gifts?”

Severus shrugged. “There would be one or two presents – from the Headmaster mostly. But no, I never really celebrated it. Not like this - with a tree and,” family, he had wanted to say.

“Friends and family,” James finished for him. “I feel like such a brat,” he admitted and sat cross-legged next to Severus. “I always took all of this for granted. I am beginning to realize just how precious this is.” The soft smile Severus gave him made his heart ache.

“So, did you say we get to open one of those tonight?” He counted seven presents. Seven! 

“Yes, before turning in for bed, which reminds me… Maybe it’s a good idea if I stay with you at night during the holidays? You need to rest. You need to sleep.”

Severus knew James was right and he couldn’t deny his master anyway. “I am fine with that.” And he really was. As long as James focused on those warm and peaceful feelings, he felt at ease around his master.

Pleased, James grinned – that was another problem solved!

//

Severus had never before heard of a book called Little Lord Fauntleroy and it surprised him that a Muggle tale was so popular in a Pureblood household. The Malfoys would have incinerated the book at once. 

Evelyn closed the book and searched Severus’ face. James had heard the tale countless times before and seemed bored, but Severus’ expression was hard to read. “Did you like it?”

Not wanting to offend her, he nodded. “It’s something… different.”

Evelyn laughed warmly. “You are quite the diplomat.” But she sobered; she reckoned being diplomatic had kept the young wizard alive on many occasions. Watching Severus, she smiled at the way he was leaning against James for support. Her son was still holding Severus’ hand and occasionally rubbed the back. She had hoped her son would warm up to Severus, but the speed at which it had actually happened, surprised her. Maybe it was because James knew what his parents had went through after Ben had been freed. It warmed her heart to see her son so eager to help Severus recover. “You look tired,” she said, when Severus’ eyes threatened to close again. He had fought his fatigue valiantly for the last thirty minutes. 

“I can manage,” Severus quickly said, hoping she hadn’t noticed. The truth was that he was emotionally drained. All the emotional bloodletting he had done was catching up with him. That, and the fact that his body used too much energy digesting the large amount of food he had eaten, made him drowsy. He wanted to stay awake though and find out if he was really getting a present.

James grinned. “It’s time for bed, but not before you get your present. Why don’t you pick one and bring my present along as well?”

Severus struggled to his feet, swayed, but then eagerly made his way over the pile with presents. “Which one?” he asked, looking at his master from over his shoulder.

“The smallest,” James said, that way Severus didn’t have to do any heavy lifting. 

Severus picked the smallest present from James’ pile and did likewise with his. Before turning around in order to return to his master, he looked at the elder Potters. 

“It’s fine! Go ahead and open them,” Evelyn said, her heart twisting at the knowledge that Severus found it hard to believe he was getting a gift.

Severus took the presents over to the sofa and handed James his. James took hold of it, ripped off the wrapping paper and squealed with happiness. 

“It’s a practice snitch! That’s so cool!” He jumped up from the sofa, hugged his dad and then moved on to his mother, who kissed his brow. “This is awesome, thanks!”

“You’re welcome, son,” Ben said; his son actually deserved that gift this year after all he had done for Severus. “Use it wisely.”

“I will!” James was going to try it out tomorrow! He returned to the sofa, still all excited, and nodded repeatedly at Severus. “Open it!”

Severus looked at the elder Potters once more for permission. 

Evelyn nodded. “I hope you will like it, Severus.” She cringed at the way Severus then sought out Ben’s gaze, in order to obtain his permission as well.

“Open it, son.” 

Severus couldn’t help growing flustered at being called that again and he quickly looked at James to see if his Master minded him being called that.

“It’s fine, Sev. Open it. My curiosity is killing me!” Severus very carefully and very slowly unwrapped the present, making sure not to tear the paper in any way. James looked at the mess he’d made and realized how precious this was to Severus.

Severus reverently looked at the two books in his hands. One was a notebook, still empty and showing blank pages. Its golden cover sparkled and small gems adorned the front page. His eyes filled with tears at reading the inscription. 

“What does it say?” James leaned in closer, eager to find out what was happening. 

Severus tried to tell James, but his lips failed to produce any sounds. He was dumbstruck.

“To Severus, the newest addition to the Potter family.” Ben had thought long and hard as what to write and hoped he hadn’t overdone it.

Severus crushed the notebook against his chest and wept. Through the tears, he managed to read the title of the second book. It was a copy of the one he had been studying for the last few days. He raised his head, stared at Benjamin Potter and tried to speak again. He failed—miserably. It seemed like a part of him had shut down. 

“It’s fine, son.” Ben moved closer and carefully gathered Severus in a hug. “Everything’s fine. You are wanted, Severus. And you are most welcome. We want you to enrich our family life.”

James felt his own eyes tear up and quickly wiped at them. He wasn’t going to cry when Severus might need him. His mother winked at him and James nodded. He had this under control.

“No one… ever before… I don’t know…” Severus stammered, not sure what he wanted to say. What words could possibly express his gratitude?

Ben gestured for James to take over and his son quickly moved closer, burying Severus in an embrace of his own. Ben guided Severus’ head against his son’s shoulder and sat back. “No, you have it wrong. It’s I who is so damn grateful that I can do this for you.” They were kindred spirits. Both of them had suffered at the hands of their torturers. “Be at ease, Severus.”

Severus closed his eyes and wished he would finally stop crying. He wasn’t a baby anymore! He clutched the books against his chest, not even realizing his tears dripped onto their covers. 

James exchanged a look with his dad. “Maybe a calming draught will help?”

Ben sighed. “I wish it would, but he built up a resistance to them.”

Thanks to Malfoy, James thought, disgusted. In that case, he would use the bond to calm Severus down.

//

It had taken James time and effort to get Severus into his pajamas. The fact that the young wizard refused to let go of the two books had complicated the matter, but in the end, James managed. “Get into bed, will you? I will join you in a minute.” He checked to see if Severus was giving him that panicking look again, but all the other boy did was nod and comply.

James quickly changed into his pajamas, brushed his teeth, and returned to the bed, where Severus was still holding onto the books. “Sev, you can’t sleep like that. Let’s put those on the night stand, yes?” He sat down on the bed and tried to coax Severus into letting go. “You might damage them during the night.”

Severus reluctantly let go and watched James place them on the night stand, as promised. It wasn’t so much the present that had upended his life, it was that one sentence that Benjamin Potter had written in the notebook. All of a sudden, it was too real to handle. He was wanted here. He was welcome. The Potters really wanted to look after him!

James gathered the upset wizard in his arms and tucked Severus’ head beneath his chin. “Asking you to go to sleep is probably demanding the impossible,” he said, but without any frustration. 

“I can’t sleep, I am sorry,” Severus stammered. 

“That’s fine. I am not mad with you. I am just tired myself.” Today had tired him. Taking care of Severus had been strenuous, but he wasn’t reconsidering. He was doing this!

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Severus said, surprising himself by speaking out. “When I was really young, I always dreamt of having a family of my own. I’d fantasize about parents who loved me, and I’d have brothers and sisters who were searching for me. I had been snatched from the cradle and my family would rescue me.”

James’ heart ached at hearing it. He could barely imagine how horrid Severus’ life must have been. One way or the other, he was going to get back at the Malfoys. He might have to wait for years, but he would make them pay for hurting an innocent. “You were a baby when they enslaved you, am I right?”

Severus nodded against James’ chest. “It’s the only way to make a slave-bond work. It must happen within two hours after the baby has been born.”

“The bastards!” James hissed angrily. 

Severus blinked and raised his head. “I am grateful that you are my master now. I have never been this healthy. I have never felt this safe. With them…” Severus shuddered. “I tried to hide, but they would always find me. Luc…” his voice faltered. “He loved to play games with me. Usually I ended up bleeding and hurt and the last time, starved. Did I ever thank you for saving me when you didn’t have to? You never liked me and yet you… Thank you so very much.”

James cringed. “It was the least I could do after exposing you, but… I am grateful too. If I hadn’t exposed you, you would still be with them.”

Severus trembled like a leaf. “I’d rather die than go back to them ever again.”

“You don’t have to. You are safe with me. You are safe at this manor. No one can hurt you.”

Severus closed his eyes as his fatigue was getting the better of him. “Thank you for saving me,” he whispered. “I will be the best slave you can wish for.”

“Don’t,” James said and caressed Severus’ face. 

The caress made him open his eyes and take in James’ expression. “Don’t what?” he questioned sleepily.

“Be my friend, be my brother, but don’t be my slave, Sev.” The smile that surfaced on the other’s boy face was unearthly and James felt himself blush.

“I can be whatever you want. Being your friend is doable. I won’t disappoint you.” Severus closed his eyes again and surprisingly drifted off in sleep after all.

James drew in a deep, steadying breath. Severus’ words served to remind him that they still had a long way ahead of them.

//

Severus slept through the night, something which pleased, but still surprised James. Maybe everything coming to the surface had taken off some kind of pressure for the young wizard. James hoped it was the first real step on the road to recovery for Severus. 

James, who had been sleepy before, was now fully awake. He couldn’t stop thinking about everything he had learned about Severus. Until two months ago, he hadn’t known slaves existed. He hadn’t know to what extent their owners abused them. Now that he knew, he was thankful that he had managed to get Severus away from Malfoy. 

Malfoy, that name sparked an angry rage in the pit of his stomach. His anger swelled and he delighted in imagining the worst kinds of punishment he would inflict on Lucius. It didn’t take him long to regret giving into those fantasies though, as Severus started to toss and turn next to him. It was the bond, James reminded himself, and Severus had to be picking up on his anger. James forced himself to calm his mind, and as he did, Severus stopped moving about. “I am sorry,” he whispered, “I forgot.” He couldn’t make mistakes like that – not when someone else was going to pay for them.

//

Severus woke after a relatively peaceful night. He’d only had one bad dream, which had faded quickly. The dream itself had been strange. It had featured James, hexing Lucius for everything his former master had done to him. He had never dreamt anything like it before. 

His gaze came to rest on the books on the nightstand and last night’s events returned to him. Benjamin Potter had welcomed him into the family. Had that really happened? Or had it been a dream? An illusion? 

In the past, he would have left the bed to prepare for his master’s morning routine, but James never required him to wait on him. Things had been different with Lucius, who would order him to suck him off first thing in the morning. That was when he got off easy. Other mornings had him on his hands and knees, ass sticking up in the air and Lucius fucking him until he had to fight off gagging. Severus shook his head. He didn’t want to remember that – not on this particular morning. But the images refused to go away. What was even worse, his lower body ached with remembered pain. Lucius had often left him bleeding and with no one to heal him, he had found himself in agony day after day. It had been worst during the holidays, when he couldn’t hide at Hogwarts.

“You look like you are about to throw up.”

Hearing James’ voice so unexpectedly brought on a flight and flee response from Severus. He tried to get out of the bed, but the comforter wasn’t cooperating, ensnaring him.

“Sev, it’s me, remember? It’s James.” James tried to grasp Severus’ shoulder, but the other boy fought him off in blind panic. In the end, Severus fell onto the floor, landing on his wrist and James heard a sickening popping sound. “Oh, fuck,” he cussed. That sounded way too much like broken bones.

The pain snapped Severus out of his stupor and he searched the room, terrified Lucius was playing another mind game with him. But then a different face came into view, surprising the hell out of him. What was Potter doing here? And then everything came rushing back until he remembered where he was and why. “I am sorry, master. I panicked, please forgive me.” He scrambled onto his knees, bowed and cradled his aching arm against his chest, awaiting whatever punishment Potter would decide on. If his new master shared Lucius’ sadistic streak, he would focus on his broken arm. 

James crouched next to Severus, being careful not to tower above him. “Sev, you are at Potter Manor. You are staying with me and my mum and dad. You are safe. I got you away from Malfoy.” At the mention of that name Severus started to groan pitifully and seemed to sway on his knees. “Fuck this,” James moved closer, wrapped an arm around Severus, who instantly grew limp, and pulled him against his chest. Focusing on being at peace and in control was infinitely harder this time as he still wanted to skin Malfoy alive for what he had done to Severus. “Raise your head and look at me, please.”

Conditioned to obey his master’s orders at all time, Severus did just that and blinked repeatedly. Where was Lucius? He felt awfully confused. What was going on?

“Try to calm down. Breathe in and out, in and out. Yes, that’s it. In and out.” James continued the litany until the agony left Severus’ eyes. “In and out,” he repeated. “Just listen to my voice. You suffered another flash back, Sev. You are at Potter Manor and no one is going to hurt you.” Damn, he did wish calming draughts still worked on the other boy. 

The haze he had been in slowly left and Severus stared at his master in stupor. What had happened just now?

“It was a flashback,” James said, hoping to take away some confusion. “You remembered them hurting you, but that’s in the past now. Something like that will never happen again. I promise.” He opened his arms, hoping Severus would move into them, and when he did, James released a relieved sigh. “Was it Lucius and his perverted mind games?” He didn’t know if discussing it was wise, but ignoring it couldn’t be good either. Severus shivered and then nodded against his chest. In the past, Severus had refused to give him details, and he had been happy not to push, since he hadn’t wanted to deal with Severus’ pain, but he realized he couldn’t run from this. “I want you to tell me what he did. Do it in such a way that it won’t send you into another panic attack, if you can. But I need to know, Sev.” 

Severus flinched; he didn’t want to do this, but his master had given him a direct order. 

“What sent you over the edge, Sev? What did you remember?” 

Severus hid his face against James’ shoulder. He didn’t want to see the disgust on his master’s face while telling him. “I remembered waking up in the morning. Lucius…” Speaking the name set off a gagging reflex, but he forced himself to control it. “I had to suck him off first thing in the morning or he’d order me on my hands and knees and fuck me. It hurt… It hurt so much.” 

James wished there was a spell to take away Severus’ pain. “How old were you when that started?” 

Severus shrugged. “As far as I can remember back.”

James closed his and fought for composure. “When you were still a child?” The fact that Severus shrugged and then nodded confirmed his worst suspicions. “I am going to kill him when I get my hands on him.”

Severus raised his head and stared at his master in wonder. “What?”

“Malfoy is going to pay for hurting you like that.”

“Don’t!” Severus shook his head. “If you are put in prison then…”

“Then Malfoy would come after you, fuck.” James hadn’t thought that far ahead yet. “In that case, I will be subtle, but he will pay, one way or the other.”

“I am just a slave. You shouldn’t take such risks because of me. I don’t want you dead or in prison. I need you alive.”

And taking care of him. James knew he couldn’t go after Lucius. Not knowing Severus would pay a terrible price. “It’s all right, I understand,” he soothed the other wizard. “I won’t go after him.” Severus had to come first, he reminded himself. 

“I need you,” Severus admitted in a choked voice. “I don’t have any protection when you are gone. I need you,” he hated the way he sounded, but it was the truth. Without James’ protection, he would be lost.

“Mum and dad will protect you, should anything happen to me. Just return to the manor, wherever you are and they will protect you.”

“Thank you, master.” Hearing it assured him he was relatively safe.

“It’s James, remember?” James rubbed circles onto Severus’ back in an effort to soothe him. “It’s James.”

“James, I am sorry, I forgot. Yes, it’s James.” 

James guided Severus’ head back against his shoulder and released the tears he had been fighting for these last few minutes. “It will be all right, Sev. We will be all right.” His parents would know what to do with Severus’ broken arm. 

//

Ben and Evelyn rushed to over to Severus’ room. The distressing news Murky had delivered urged them on. Ben was the first to enter and immediately headed for the two boys huddled on the floor next to the bed. “What happened?”

Severus flinched at hearing Mr. Potter’s voice and felt guilty for ruining the wizard’s sleep. 

“He tumbled off the bed. I reckon he broke his arm. I didn’t want to do anything in case I made things worse,” James supplied while linking his fingers with Severus’.

Evelyn sat on her heels next to her husband. “You’re all right though?” 

James nodded. “I am fine. Just a little riled up.”

“May I see your arm, Severus?” Ben waited for the young wizard to make up his mind.

“I am sorry, master, for disturbing your rest,” Severus whispered, still too tied up in memories to remind himself that the Potters meant him no harm. 

“I don’t mind,” Ben assured him. “May I see your arm, Severus?” he repeated. Slowly Severus extended his right arm toward him, making Ben hiss as the fracture was clearly visible. “That’s not good.” It was a complicated fracture and one he didn’t feel comfortable just healing with a quick spell. “Evelyn, you’re better at this.”

Severus, afraid he had displeased his master, tried to cradle his arm back against his chest, but Evelyn gently pulled the broken arm toward her. “This is not easily fixed. We need Skele-gro and I have to manipulate the bone to make sure it heals properly.” Stuck on a floor was not the right way to do that. “James, Ben, move him back onto the bed, but be careful. I will get the Skele-gro.”

“I am sorry for-” but Severus grew quiet upon seeing Benjamin’s expression. There was no anger in those eyes. If anything the older wizard looked worried. James and Ben combined forces and gently deposited him back on the bed. Severus continued to feel guilty when Ben propped the pillows up against the headboard and then eased him against them. “I am fine really. It’s nothing.” He’d had too many broken bones in the past to get upset over a broken arm.

James cupped the back of Severus’ head and looked him in the eye. “You have a broken arm. That is a big deal and we are going to look after you.”

Severus frowned. “Lucius wouldn’t. He always enjoyed seeing me in pain. I once broke my wrist and he twisted the limb until I lost consciousness. He never healed me.”

James’ hands tried to turn into fists, but he reminded himself to control his emotions and rubbed Severus’ neck instead. “Those days are over. These days, you get healed when you’re hurt.”

Severus remained quiet, wondering about his master’s words. Why was he thinking about Lucius all the time? He no longer lived at Malfoy manor. He belonged to the Potters now!

Evelyn returned and sat down on the side of the bed. “This will hurt,” she warned him, but Severus didn’t show any signs of discomfort when she mended the broken bone. He simply took the pain and stared at the ceiling. His reaction worried her, but this wasn’t the time to address it. After using the Skele- gro and creating a protective cast around his mending arm, she sat back and studied his eyes. The tears were there, she realized, except he wasn’t shedding them. “You can cry,” she said, “there is no shame in that.” The surprised look he gave her made her heart go out to him.

“This is nothing. I’ve been through worse,” he assured her quickly. 

“Still.” Evelyn ran her fingers through his disheveled hair and studied him. “Go easy on your arm for the next few days. The bone is still brittle.”

“I will, mistress, thank you for healing me.”

Upon hearing that, Evelyn’s eyes filled with the tears Severus couldn’t shed. “You’re such a brave boy.” Severus’ eyes widened questioningly. “Ben, isn’t there a potion we can give him to help him sleep through the rest of the night?” It was only two in the morning and Severus desperately needed the rest.

“Maybe,” Ben wasn’t sure. With Severus having built up a tolerance he might have to tweak an existing potion. “I’ll have a look and see what I can do.” Ben left for his storage room. Like Evelyn he wanted Severus to get the rest he needed. Severus’ body and mind was on constant alert and the boy needed to relax.

“Are you comfortable?” James lay down on his side and pulled Severus into his arms. The young wizard complied and molded himself after his form. James felt determined in a way he had never experienced before. He was going to defeat Lucius. He was going to make sure Severus recovered, no matter what it took, he would support the other boy. His heart missed a beat when Severus turned his face and looked at him. The fear was gone, thanks Merlin!

“I’m fine, thanks, James.” Severus surprised himself by easily pronouncing the name instead of addressing James as his master. James’ radiant smile took him aback. Did it mean that much to his master to be called by his name?

“I love it when you say my name,” James said quickly, trying to motivate Severus to continue doing so.

Evelyn smiled at them. James was realistic enough to realize they had a bumpy road ahead of them, but instead of giving up, which would have been the easy way out, her son’s resolve to see this through had deepened. 

Severus nibbled on his bottom lip. He knew it was a bad habit, but he couldn’t stop himself. He often did that when he felt nervous. “I’ll try to remember that, James,” he said, testing the waters. Nothing bad happened. James merely continued to smile at him.

“Maybe this will work.” Ben sat down on the side of the bed and offered Severus a vial. He had developed that sleeping potion only recently, as he himself no longer tolerated the standard sleeping and calming draughts either. “Drink this.” Severus reached for the vial with his right hand, but then realized his fingers were halfway stuck in the cast and that he couldn’t clasp them around the vial. “Let me.” Ben placed the vial against Severus’ lips and tipped the liquid over into his charge’s mouth. “It will take a few minutes to unfold its effect.” He exchanged a look with his son. “I can stay with him if you want to get some rest.”

“No,” James said and shook his head. “I want to stay with him.”

Severus, beginning to feel the effects of the sleeping draught, quietly studied James’ eyes. His master had said, I want to stay, implying that James really wanted to look after him. “Thanks,” he whispered and cuddled up tighter. “Thank you for everything.”

Emotions threatened to choke up James’ throat. “I am sorry I was a dick to you in the past. I should never have bullied you. I’m going to make things up to you, and no, not because I have to, but because I want to.” The smile Severus gave him was gentle and rather sweet, and James couldn’t stop the blush from settling on his cheeks.

Severus closed his eyes and let go. His tense muscles relaxed and he finally drifted off into a dreamless sleep where Lucius’ face wouldn’t haunt him.

Ben tilted his head and studied his son. He couldn’t remember James ever growing that flustered again. “We will talk in the morning. You don’t have to do this alone.”

“I know that, dad. If you really want to help, owl Dumbledore. There’s no way Severus can go back to Hogwarts in two weeks. He won’t be able to deal with the pressure. He needs his privacy – he needs this.”

Ben agreed. “I will contact the Headmaster. Leave that to me. Do you want some sleeping draught yourself?”

“No, I want to be alert in case Severus had another setback.”

“James,” Evelyn said and stroked her son’s unruly hair. “Things will get better. Believe me.” She was talking from personal experience, wanting her son to know that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. “Just don’t give up on him.”

“I won’t,” James promised. “I won’t.”

//

Severus was the first to wake up the next morning. As it was light outside, he reckoned it was already mid-morning. In the past, that had made him panic, realizing he had slept in, but this morning, he simply couldn’t bother. He felt sleepy and relaxed, lazy and comfortable. Turning his head slightly, he found he had gone to sleep cuddled up in James’ arms. James looked relaxed in sleep and Severus used the opportunity to study the other boy.

Time and time again, James had assured him that he didn’t want to be his master, but instead, he wanted them to be friends. Such a concept confused Severus, who had only known Lucius as a master. James had also repeatedly told him that he wanted to protect him and Severus did believe that. James’ actions underlined his words. So far, James had helped him time and time again. James had had ample opportunity to hurt and humiliate him, but instead, the young wizard continued to help and support him. Accepting his life had changed was difficult, because he was so damn afraid his life would change for the worse again. What if the Potters reconsidered and got tired of him? What if they sold him or returned him to Lucius? They had said that they would never do that, but could he believe them? He wouldn’t survive going back to being just a slave, now that they were treating him as person. 

“You look troubled,” James remarked, trying to make sense of the confusion in Severus’ unfocused eyes. 

“I’m trying to decide if I’ll survive trusting you,” Severus admitted, still heavily influenced by the calming effects of the sleeping draught. 

“In what way?” James knew he had to tread carefully.

“If I decide to trust you and your parents…” Severus frowned, losing track of that thought. “What if you decide to sell me again? What if you grow tired of my anxiety attacks? What if you return me to… him.” He wasn’t brave enough to say Lucius’ name at that point. “I won’t survive going back there. My body might go on, but I’ll be dead inside.” He trembled violently. “Now that I know what it’s like to live without constant pain, I…” What had he been thinking? “I can’t go back to that. I can’t kill myself, did you know that? The geas prevent me from taking my own life. I know that because I tried.”

James’ facial features contorted with sympathy, and then his determination returned. “What will it take for you to believe me when I say that we will never do that? We will never sell you. I’ll kill Lucius myself if that bastard ever lies a finger on you again!”

Severus blinked at hearing the strange emotion in James’ voice. It took him a moment to identify it – it was a mix of concern, protectiveness and something else. But there was no possessiveness. This wasn’t about Lucius messing with Potter’s property. “You don’t think of me as property, do you? You don’t think of me as your slave.” He had fought that realization for the last two months now, simply because he was afraid to make himself that vulnerable.

“Like dad said, you’re family. Maybe we can draw up some kind of magical contact that will convince you we won’t sell you again.” A sudden thought occurred to him. “Severus, what happens if your master dies?”

Severus closed his eyes briefly. “If he hasn’t sold me first, I’d be free.” The thought was too devastating to consider. He didn’t dare think of ever being free.

James didn’t like the thought of having to die in order to free Severus, but maybe he could somehow tweak it to their advantage. He should discuss the matter with his parents. “Severus?” He waited for those dark eyes to open again and focus on him. “Are you hungry?”

To his surprise, Severus discovered that he was. “I can eat. How odd is that?”

James didn’t know what his dad had put into the draught, but it was working. Severus remained relaxed and was finally willing to discuss some of his feelings. “I’m sure Murky will deliver breakfast soon.” The moment he had said those words, the house elf appeared balancing two trays. 

Murky gave them a quick look and found the situation satisfying. James was looking after Severus, and Severus seemed relaxed. “Eat,” he said, and as he didn’t want to disturb them, he vanished again.

“Can you sit up?” James assisted Severus into sitting upright and then placed the tray onto the young wizard’s lap. Severus nodded and James was pleased to see him grab the fork and start feeding himself. Only yesterday, he’d had to manipulate him into eating. He really needed to find out what had been in that draught.

Severus seldom had an appetite, as he had learned to live on little food, but that morning, he was hungry. He cleared off the scrambled egg, toast, and even some slices of bacon. Although he felt full, he tucked into the muffin as well. A muffin for breakfast was pure decadence as far as Severus was concerned. 

James watched him eat with relish and grinned. Severus’ body probably didn’t know what was hitting it, now that the young wizard was finally eating. 

Severus sipped from his milk and realized he had really eaten a lot. In the past, such a meal would have sustained him for two or three days, but he didn’t have to worry about his next meal. James would make sure he ate. 

James sensed the change that had come over Severus and welcomed it. Something had happened last night – something important. Some sort of breakthrough had occurred. “You look… happy,” was the only word that seemed to fit Severus’ current mood.

“I feel odd,” Severus admitted. “Relaxed and… I can’t recall the last time I was that hungry. I never eat that much.”

“Well, you should.” James cleared off his plate as well and sipped from his coffee. Murky knew he loved the drink hot and strong. “Maybe you feel up to going for a walk later? That is, if your arm doesn’t hamper you.” He reckoned the fresh air might do Severus good and getting a little exercise might enhance his appetite further.

“If that doesn’t get in the way of anything your parents planned.” It was Christmas Day and he knew that most families tended to have certain rituals in order to celebrate the feast.

“Maybe they can join us? Would you like that?” It was like he was seeing a different side to Severus, one he hadn’t seen before. He liked the fact that the young wizard was this relaxed and approachable, but foremost he loved the fact that the fear was absent from those eyes.

A knock on the door interrupted their conversation and Severus wondered why the door wasn’t opening. 

“Are you going to say anything?” James prompted, realizing Severus wasn’t used to answering calls.

“Come in,” Severus said, wondering about this strange occurrence. It could only be one of the Potters on the other side of that door. Why would they bother knocking?”

Ben entered and headed over to the bed. “Good morning. How are you today?” He studied Severus’ face, while carefully reaching for the mending arm. To his relief, Severus seemed alert and even more importantly comfortably relaxed. “Sleep well?”

Severus nodded. “I did. It was great. I didn’t have any dreams.”

Ben arched an eyebrow at the uncharacteristic answer. 

“He’s been like that since he woke up,” James supplied. “Whatever was in that draught it made him awfully relaxed.”

James mentally listed the ingredients, but didn’t find anything that might explain Severus’ relaxed state. Maybe it was merely the fact that the boy had finally gotten a good night’s sleep. “Does it still hurt?” he asked, while turning and probing the arm. 

“No, I hardly feel a thing. It itches though.” Severus wondered what was wrong with him. He should address the elder wizard more respectfully, as Mr. Potter was his master’s father, but the urge to do so had lessened. 

Ben cooked his head and continued to study Severus. “Something has changed.” But what?” His son was quick to agree, assuring him he had noticed the same thing. Ben didn’t dare hope Severus had decided to trust them, but if the boy had, it might explain the change of heart Severus had had. “Allow the cast to support your arm for two more days and it should be as good as new.”

“That’s fine with me.” Severus smiled happily upon seeing a mug filled with hot chocolate on the night stand. “Is that for me?”

Ben returned the smile. “You do like that, don’t you?” He reached for the mug and handed it to Severus, who quickly wrapped the fingers of his good hand around it.

“The only times I had some when was the house elves of Hogwarts would treat me to it. I love hot chocolate.”

Ben sought out James’ gaze. “He’s rather relaxed, isn’t he?” Again, he mentally checked the potion’s ingredients, but came up with nothing again.

“I like it,” James admitted and shifted Severus slightly in his arms so the young wizard could sip more easily. “I like him like this,” he clarified. “He’s no longer afraid of me.”

Yes, that was it. Maybe it was the bond? Ben didn’t know much about it, but knew it linked the slave to his master. Maybe Severus had learned – through that bond - that James really was trustworthy? “There’s nothing in the potion to explain this behavior. It must be the bond.” He watched if that observation startled Severus, but the young man merely continued to enjoy his hot drink. Maybe last night had been a catharsis of sorts. Maybe Severus had finally realized James wasn’t like Lucius. Whatever had caused this shift in perception, Ben was grateful that it had occurred. 

“Maybe we can go for a walk later, dad? Severus likes that idea and it might be good for him to get some fresh air.”

“We can do that,” Ben agreed before trying to catch Severus’ attention again. “Severus?” It took the youngster a moment to focus, but then those dark eyes fastened on him – again the lack of fear surprised Ben –but it was a pleasant surprise. “What happened?”

Severus knew what this was about. He wasn’t sure he could explain it though. “I decided to trust you – all of you. You are not like the Malfoys.” He shuddered, recalling the risk he was taking.

“You’re right, we’re not.” Ben saw the brief glimpse of terror and understood Severus’ concern. “You will stay with us for the rest of your life. You belong with us now.”

“Just like you wrote down in that notebook,” Severus whispered. He had to believe they were for real. It might be his only chance of ever getting a normal life.

//

“That’s better!” Evelyn relished the chance to mother Severus now that the boy wasn’t flinching each time she touched him. Pleased that the scarf would keep him covered, she radiantly smiled at her husband and son. She loved the idea of going for a walk in the snow. She loved snow!

Severus felt light-headed. He couldn’t recall a time he had ever been this well, even if his arm was still in a cast. His body had been feed, he had rested, and James’ hand had slipped into his pocket to hold his. It was like living in a dream – a haze. 

Although her husband and son worried about the change that had come over Severus, Evelyn didn’t. Maybe it was a mother’s instinct that told her they had already won a battle that could have lasted several years. 

“Let’s go.” Ben opened the door and let his family step outside. A family, which now also included Severus. 

Severus was content to trail behind the elder Potters. The crisp, cold air momentarily robbed him of his breath, but James squeezed his fingers, making Severus smile. Tentatively, still trying to figure out the rules that applied to his new life, he returned the squeeze. 

James chuckled relieved and damned pleased that Severus was finally responding in what he considered a normal way. “We can build a snowman, if you want to.”

“My cast might get in the way,” Severus said, for some reason assuming James might like doing it the Muggle way. 

“You can give me instructions and I will do the work,” James said, who indeed intended to do it the Muggle way. Peeking at Severus, James found he loved seeing the relaxation in those dark eyes. Severus was quickly becoming more than a friend and he knew it. He had once told his friends that he didn’t like boys the way he liked girls, but he was definitely beginning to like Severus that way. Touching him felt good and he thoroughly enjoyed the young wizard’s presence. Was he falling in love? That little question kept spinning in the back of his mind and he knew he had to answer it one of these days, but that was not this day. Today, he wanted to simply enjoy Severus’ smile.

//

Evelyn, who had looped her arm with her husband’s, looked at the two young man walking in front of them. She had fallen behind on purpose, wanting to study them. “You do realize what’s happening?”

Ben nodded. “I am not sure what to make of it though.” The look James cast Severus at that moment spoke of love and protection, and the dark – haired wizard returned it. “They’re falling in love.”

“I have been studying the enslavement spell,” she told her husband. “And as far as I can tell, this might change the nature of their bond.”

Alert, and interested in the information she might have, Ben moved closer. “In what way?”

“I couldn’t find any history of a slave falling in love with his master, or the other way around. Let alone both of them falling in love. Usually there is too much abuse involved for a slave to develop feelings for his master. And most masters are sadists who get off on hurting their slave.”

“Like Lucius.”

“Yes, like him. But this changes everything.” Evelyn pursed her lips. “The bond that the enslavement spell creates is just that – the slave is bond to his master. Basically it is very similar to an unbreakable vow. Now, add love to that spell and…” Evelyn took a moment to gather her thoughts. “if their love is true the bond will react to it. It will adapt.”

“In what way?” Fascinated, Ben listened and hoped his wife was right.

“Love is a rather unique emotion, Ben, as you know it tries to remedy any misbalance between lovers. The bond will interpret them as equals. The whole submission aspect will disappear.”

“If you are right, Severus will be free.”

“Not completely, since love creates bonds of its own.”

“But the two of them don’t compare!” Ben didn’t mind one bit being bonded to his wife through love. “Does it explain Severus’ changed behavior?”

“I believe so. Maybe last night he realized how much James cares about him, and our son’s feelings might have deepened upon seeing Severus in such distress. The bond reacted accordingly, taking away Severus’ fear and trying to establish a sense of equality between them. That’s why Severus no longer flinches, or looks at James in fear. It even explains why Severus no longer calls him master, but James. You did notice that?”

“I did.” He looked at his wife. “How do you feel about them being in love?”

Evelyn considered the question and then answered her husband. “It’s the best solution to their problem. I never expected James to fall in love with someone from the same sex to be honest, as he really likes this Lily Evans, but he hasn’t mentioned her these last few days. That infatuation has passed and he moved on. I approve of it,” she said eventually.

Ben considered his own feelings in the matter. “I never expected this to happen either, but if they’re both happy and the bond isn’t coercing them…”

“A bond doesn’t work like that. Not even a slave-bond. It’s love that changed their lives.”

James tried to slow down his heart beat. His parents had been whispered and he knew their conversation hadn’t been intended for his ears, but he had heard them nonetheless. At least now he knew what was happening, and being honest with himself, he had realized it himself. His feelings for Severus had greatly changed. To his surprise, he was fine with it. Lily seemed only a dream, and Severus’ hand, wrapped up tightly in his fingers was solid and real. If this was love, then he would do his damndest to make it work!

//

Severus sat down on the sofa next to the big Christmas tree and watched Mrs. Potter and Murky prepare the table for dinner. The two of them were joking and Murky was definitely enjoying himself. Severus liked the fact that the Potters treated a house elf with such respect. It proved once more that they could be trusted. He cradled his arm against his chest, although there was no real need for it, as the bone had already mended and the cast still protected it. But it made him feel better. 

He felt amazingly well to begin with. He didn’t know why but he felt at ease among them. The urge to kneel or show his submission had gone. He felt comfortable sitting on the sofa and smiled. Maybe James was right and some potion ingredient was causing this. Maybe he could ask Mr. Potter for the list of ingredients later. He didn’t presume to know more than the fabled Potions Master, but maybe he would spot something.

James walked over to the sofa and sat down next to Severus. Now that he had identified his feelings for the young wizard, he felt a tad shy. “Will you have dinner with us or do you want to eat in your room?” He wanted Severus to have a choice - that was important to him, as the dark-haired wizard had never had one in the past.

“I think I can manage dinner with you,” Severus realized rather stunned. The fear that so often made his skin crawl and his bowels contract, was absent. Timidly, he peeked at James’ face, and was surprised to find him flustered. For some reason, he wanted to reassure James and so he curled the fingers of his good hand around the young man’s. “Is something wrong?”

The ease with which Severus touched him pleased James, but at the same time he wondered about what other changes would occur between them. He was treading on new territory and Severus seemed blissfully unaware of what was happening. “No, nothing’s wrong. Everything’s right for a change.” James wrapped Severus’ hand up in both of his and held on tight. Wow, he really was in love, wasn’t he? His heart fluttered madly and his nether region was reacting to Severus’ presence. He didn’t want to become aroused, but he did desire Severus, he realized all of a sudden.

Severus had no idea what was going on, but he did worry about the fact that James suddenly averted his gaze. “Is it something I did?” What had he done to turn James away from him?

James managed a reassuring smile. “Not really. I just realized something.” Damn, he was horny. He wanted to kiss Severus so badly!

Severus frowned and wondered if he should get to the bottom of it when an owl landed and knocked her beak against the glass. Severus watched Mr. Potter open the window. He didn’t know this particular owl, and he knew a lot of birds, as Lucius and his associates had often made him send off their owls.

Ben removed the message and the owl left. Apparently no immediate answer was necessary. He unrolled the note and sucked in his breath. He needed a moment to truly understand the message and then handed it to his wife.

Severus didn’t like the expression that had appeared in Mr. Potter’s eyes. The wizard looked spooked and that couldn’t be a good thing. Checking Mrs. Potter‘s reaction he found her looking surprised as well. “Did something bad happen?” he asked James. And did it involve him? Lucius hadn’t found a way to torment him some more, had he?

“I have no idea what’s going on. I’ll check. I’ll be right back.” He regretted letting go of Severus’ hand, but it was necessary if he wanted to find out the content of said note. “Mum? Dad?”

“Yes, you should read this,” Evelyn said and handed him the message. 

Worried, James quickly scanned the content.

Mister James Potter,  
The Ministry has registered that the bond you share with the former slave Severus Snape has changed. Apparently it has adapted to changed circumstances and now labels as a marriage bond. As this marriage is magical in nature, different rules apply. Your husband is no longer a slave. You are required to make ample provisions for his well being. As a person, he is entitled to a bank account and he shares your legal status. As this marriage bond is based on love and not circumstance, you have three months to consummate it. Not consummating it implies you don’t agree to his changed standing and the former slave-bond will return. 

Please see to it that you take all necessary actions. You will be notified the moment the consummation is registered by the Ministry. 

James read the letter again, and again, and then looked at his parents. He had just admitted to himself that he was falling in love with Severus and now the Ministry was telling him the two of them were married and they had three months to consummate it? What kind of madness was this? “Mum, dad?”

Ben exchanged a look with his wife and decided Evelyn was the right person to handle this. “He’s all yours.”

“James, we need to talk in private. Severus, no need to worry. I merely need a quick word with James.”

Severus nodded, but he was worried. James had paled while reading that note. That couldn’t be good. 

“I’ll stay with him,” Ben told his wife and son. “Hurry though.” While Evelyn and James stepped in the room next doors, Ben sat down next to Severus, who continued to frown at him.

“How bad is it? Has Lucius found a way to reclaim me?” If that was the case, he had to find a way to kill himself. He wasn’t going to go back to Malfoy manor – not alive. They were welcome to his corpse, though he doubted they’d want it.

Ben didn’t really want to keep this from Severus, but thought it wise to let James come to terms with it first. “No, this isn’t about Malfoy. It’s not bad news. It’s just unexpected.” In effort to distract Severus, he cast a diagnostic spell on his mended arm. “Are you still in any discomfort?”

“It merely itches,” Severus assured him. “Does that message involve me though?” He startled. “Maybe the Headmaster no longer wants me at Hogwarts?”

Which reminded Ben he still had something to discuss with Severus. “No, it’s not from the Headmaster either, but I did want to suggest something. Maybe returning to school in two weeks is too early. Would you be willing to consider being home schooled until summer? You’d have peace and quiet here, and I am sure Dumbledore and I can work out a way for you to still write your papers and do your tests.”

Severus hadn’t expected that. “Do you want an honest answer?” 

“Of course!” Ben shook his head. “No need to humor me, Severus. Just tell me the truth.”

The truth. Severus had to think hard about that. “The truth is that I like it here. I don’t have to look over my shoulder the entire time. No one is trying to hex me here. I don’t have to worry about being a slave. I’m not afraid all the time. I rather like that feeling.”

“You do realize James has to attend school? I reckon he might be allowed to floo in during the evenings and on weekends.”

Severus had realized it. “I can manage… I will survive… I always do.” He cringed. “Is this a realistic option or are you…” He failed to finish.

“I will speak with the Headmaster in a few days. If he agrees, you can stay and study here. Evelyn and I will help you cover all classes. But we expect good marks.”

“I love to study,” Severus quickly assured him. “I won’t disappoint you.”

“That’s settled then.” Hopefully Evelyn’s talk to James was going just as smoothly.

//

“Marriage?” James leaned against the wall and stared out over the white landscape. “I admit to being in love with him, but marrying him right away?”

Evelyn sighed, went over to her son, and wrapped an arm around him. “I am sorry that the Ministry got involved. I know it isn’t fair, but life seldom is.”

James lifted the note and read it over again. “So, Severus is no longer a slave?”

Evelyn squeezed his shoulder. “Not at the moment, but he will go back to being one if you reject this marriage. James, I don’t want to pressure you in any way. You are sixteen and too young to marry. You are not even of legal age for six months, but… You said you didn’t want Severus to be a slave anymore and now you are given a chance to help him. You are facing a difficult choice. If you accept this marriage you won’t be able to take another lover for as long as you shall live. The same goes for Severus. Please make sure that your love is true, should you take this path.” But she already knew their love was true, otherwise the Ministry wouldn’t have been notified of the change in the bonding spell.

James cringed. “Mum, Malfoy raped Severus. He had several of his goons rape him. How do you think I can possibly do that to him – again?”

Evelyn felt deeply for her son. “It wouldn’t be rape, James. You love him.” She winked at him, trying to clear up the tension in the air. “And who says you need to be the dominant part in the exchange?” James suddenly blushed to the roots of his hair. “James?” 

“Mum, I never had sex before! I know what to do, in theory, but actually doing it is something completely different.”

“And?” she prompted.

“I never expected myself to find on the bottom – ever! When I considered dating Lily, it never occurred to me that I would find myself in that position – you know…”

Evelyn did understand. “Do you find it demeaning then?”

James cringed again, realizing the implications of the question. “No, not really, it is just… it hurts, doesn’t it?”

Evelyn realized she was the wrong person to be having this conversation with. Ben should be doing this. “Not if done properly. James, don’t tackle everything at once. You have three months to find out if you are compatible that way.”

“And what if Severus refuses? What if he doesn’t want this marriage?”

“You are afraid he might think that he is exchanging one bond for another, but seriously, James, haven’t you seen the look in his eyes? Severus loves you. He might not realize it yet, which is understandable considering everything he has been through, but I don’t doubt he has feelings for you.” Evelyn followed her son over to the sofa where he sat down. She seated herself next to him and tried to be patient and understanding. “Maybe you should discuss this with your dad instead of me.”

“No, that’s fine. It’s just – sudden and unexpected. I know that I have feelings for him, but I had imagined dating for a year or so…” 

“James, I wish there was an easy way out, but there isn’t. Whatever you do, follow your heart.”

James nodded. That was good advice, he knew that. He knew he had to follow his heart – and his heart called him to Severus’ side.

//

Severus hesitantly sought out James’ gaze once the young wizard returned to the drawing room. Severus was still convinced he had done something to offend James and his heart thundered in his chest, waiting to see if James would head towards him or ignore him.

The look Severus gave him tore at his heart and made him steer for the sofa at once. The sigh Severus released now that he was sitting down was clearly audible. “What’s wrong? There’s no reason to worry.” Not yet anyway.

“I worried I had done something to upset you.” Severus wiggled the fingers of his good hand, too shy to actually take James’ hand in his. 

“You didn’t. I just had some family business to attend to.”

“We’re good then?” 

James again felt the urge to lean in closer and kiss Severus, and it was growing stronger. Whom was he kidding? He was in love with Severus and wouldn’t reject the marriage. If someone would, it would be Severus, he was sure of that. Well, in that case he had to make sure Severus had no reason to reject his marriage proposal.

//

Severus felt stuffed after eating Christmas dinner. To his utter delight the house elves had joined them and Murky had been cracking bad jokes all evening. The Potters seemed to enjoy the banter and the relaxed setting was getting to Severus, who laughed warmly and didn’t think twice about touching James and claiming his hand whenever opportunity presented itself. He was happy. He had never felt like this before.

Evelyn and Ben noticed Severus’ mood when they moved to the sofa in order to open their presents. Any doubts Evelyn might have had about them, vanished. The Ministry was right; the two of them were utterly in love and she decided that the Ministry getting involved could work to their benefit. She desperately wanted Severus to stop being a slave.

Severus had opened one of his presents and blinked in surprise. “I don’t know how to skate,” he confessed. “And the ice must be slippery.” 

“I’ll teach you,” James promised. “And if you don’t like it, you can cheer me on instead.” Severus’ good hand slipped into his and he squeezed reassuringly. He had to discuss the Ministry letter with Severus at one point, but not yet. He needed a little time to get used to the idea of being a married man at his young age. 

“I am sorry that I don’t have any presents to give to you,” Severus whispered, addressing the three of them. He wished he had some money; then he could have gotten them something in turn. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Ben said and leaned in closer. “As far as this family is concerned we got the best gift ever.” As expected, Severus gave him a confused look. “We got you for Christmas.”

The dam suddenly broke and tears flowed from Severus’ eyes. “You shouldn’t say things like that,” he sobbed, unable to deal with the fact that they really wanted him. All his life, Lucius had told him he was worth nothing. That he was nothing but an inconvenience, a burden. And now the Potters kept telling him they wanted him as a part of their family. 

“On the contrary,” Evelyn stated, “we should be telling you that the entire time.” 

Severus fidgeted with the pillow he had pulled onto his lap earlier. He really didn’t know how to react to that. “Thank you for my presents,” he said eventually. He had gotten skates, a new sweater, boots lined with warm fur, and several books. “This is my best Christmas ever.” James suddenly pulled him closer and he went willingly, enjoying the close contact. He absentmindedly registered that James’ physical presence should be freaking him out, but it didn’t. He felt safe, warm and wanted. 

James felt equally content. Any questions he might have had about accepting this idea of marriage quickly vanished now that he was holding Severus in his arms. Darn, judging by the looks his parents gave him, they were on to him. 

//

“Do you want me to stay or would you rather be alone tonight?” James had walked Severus to his room and now presented the choice to the other young man. James wanted this to be about Severus – about his choices – his decisions.

Severus grew nervous. “I sleep better when you’re close, but I understand if you’d rather sleep in your own bed.” He couldn’t infringe on James all the time. James was entitled to his privacy too. 

“In that case I will stay. I’d love to,” he added in an attempt to take away the guilty expression in those dark eyes. “Really, I don’t mind at all. It goes both ways, I also sleep better when I know you close.” He couldn’t help wanting to protect Severus after everything the young wizard had been through.

Severus coughed nervously, trying to get rid of that strange feeling that was making him dizzy. He opened the door and stepped into the room. “I’ll be quick,” he said and disappeared into the bathroom.

Since he kept his pajamas in here, James quickly changed and slipped between the covers. He loved the way the bed smelled of their combined scent.

Severus needed a little longer. Feeling ashamed of the scars that marred his body, he preferred to change in private. Suddenly finding himself in front of the large mirror, he looked at his reflection in disgust. There was nothing handsome about him. His nose was too hooked, his cheek bones protruded and his arms and back still carried scars from the times Lucius had whipped him. He hated his reflection and would rather not look at it, but he had been lax and was now staring at his bony body. He was hideous, as was the mark on his buttock, carrying the Malfoy crest. He might no longer be their slave, but the mark… was gone? 

Severus couldn’t believe his eyes and wiggled in front of the mirror to check his buttock. The mark was gone! But how could that be? It wasn’t a magical mark. No, he had been branded the old-fashioned way and it had hurt like hell. It couldn’t have gone. It was impossible! Tracing the skin were the mark should have been, he didn’t even find any scares. His flesh was whole. Severus frowned deeply. This couldn’t be happening. Puzzled, he eventually slipped into his pajamas and studied himself once more. Looking at his reflection was easier now that his body was covered up. 

Lucius had told him time and time again that there was nothing lovable about him. Had he been handsome, Lucius might have treated him differently, but he was ugly like hell and Lucius had made sure he believed he deserved the torture his master had handed out. 

“Severus? Are you all right? You’ve been in there for an awfully long time.”

James’ voice shook him from his musings and he released the breath he had been holding. Lucius no longer had a hold on him. Lucius wasn’t his master anymore. James Potter was and he cared about him. James looked after him and it was more than he deserved, but damn, he was greedy and he wanted things to stay that way. He hadn’t only been starved from food, but from affection as well. Slowly, he made his way into the bedroom and smiled sadly at seeing James cast an animation spell on Fuzzy, the red dragon, who began flapping his floppy wings. It reminded him of the childhood James’ had had and he hadn’t. They were as different as day and night; how could they be possibly getting along as well as they did?

“Ah, there you are. Look, I animated Fuzzy for you. The spell will only last a few minutes, but he’s fun to watch.”

Severus felt awfully lacking as he stood there, but then James pushed back the covers and signaled for him to join him in bed. In spite of all the differences, James liked him and that was enough for Severus. He knew that no one could love him, so having James’ friendship was very precious to him. He lay down on his side, moved closer, and sighed when James pulled him closer; James wanted him near. Severus curled up against James and watched the animated dragon’s antics. 

James wrapped an arm around Severus and inhaled his scent. He couldn’t deny his feelings even if he’d wanted to. He was utterly and deeply in love with Severus. “Do you want that sleeping draught dad gave you last night?” 

The offer was tempting, but Severus shook his head. “Might be best not to indulge too often. I don’t want to build up a resistance to it. I like the idea of being able to sleep when I really need to.”

“I’ll ask dad to look into it. I am sure he can tweak it in such a way that you can take it more often.” James moistened his lips, nervous now that Severus was this close. “Is there anything else I can do to help you fall asleep?” James suddenly realized how ambiguous that sounded, but he doubted Severus would pick up on it.

Severus didn’t. It never crossed his mind that someone would offer a slave a hand job to ensure he slept peacefully. “Not really. Holding me the way you do helps.” He hoped he hadn’t crossed any boundaries by admitting that. 

“Then I’ll hold you.” James shifted into a more comfortable position and wrapped Severus up in a protective embrace. “Like this?”

Severus had never felt so secure and warm before and sighed blissfully. “Perfect.”

It was so damn easy to make Severus happy, James realized, and even more, he realized that he wanted to be the person to make Severus feel like that for the rest of his life.

//

Severus woke during the night and looked at James, who was still vast asleep. James’ hold on him had loosened during the night, and as Severus felt restless, he feared he might end up waking James in the process. So he carefully slipped out of the loose embrace and padded over to the window in socking feet. He slid onto the window sill, pulled his knees close to his chest, and wrapped his good arm around his waist, allowing the mending arm to rest comfortably.

He didn’t understand the emotions running through him. He couldn’t recall a time where he had felt this relaxed. All fear was gone, and James’ presence infused him with a sense of peace and contentment he had never experienced before. It confused the hell out of him! Whenever he looked James, he no longer feared his master’s wrath. Yesterday, he had almost called his mistress Evelyn and he no longer felt that terrifying need to kneel or cower in front of the Potters. That couldn’t be good. 

He was gradually forgetting he was just a slave, because they treated him like a genuine person and so it was so damn easy to forget his real place in life, namely cowering and begging for mercy at their feet. What if they realized he was no longer paying them proper respect? His forward behavior was bound to irritate them at one point. What was he doing sleeping in a proper bed when his rightful place was on the floor? His master wanted to be called James and lately it had become too easy to think of him as James and not as his rightful master. What the hell was he doing? He was messing up his life, that was what he was doing! He was going to ruin his life!

“Sev?

James’ voice startled him and he trembled. He had to remember his place; had to remember he was just a slave and James…

“Move over, will you?” James grew worried now that Severus’ panic seemed to make a comeback and he wanted to prevent the young wizard from having another anxiety attack. “Move over. You must be cold.” He summoned the comforter from the bed, and after sitting down next to Severus, he covered them with the material. Thank Merlin these window sills were that broad! He had loved sitting there when he had been little. “Why did you leave the bed?” he asked, trying to get Severus to react to him. He carefully claimed Severus’ good hand and clasped his fingers around the limb.

“I woke up and couldn’t sleep anymore. I worried about waking you.” Severus looked out of the window and at the frozen lake in the distance. “When I first saw this room, I thought that no one would hear my cries… The landscape would smother the sound and no one would hear me.”

James shivered. “We will never hurt you.” During these last few days he had gotten a perfect understanding of Severus’ fears back then. Looking at Severus’ profile against the white of the snow, he realized that although Severus wasn’t handsome in the usual way, those features were strong and well-defined. This person wouldn’t break easily, and by Merlin, Severus had proven that all along. “Oh, Sev…” James wished he could wipe some f those horrid nightmares from the young wizard’s mind, but he couldn’t. But he could try to comfort him. Pulling Severus’ hand closer, he pressed a kiss onto its back. 

Stunned, Severus’ eyes widened and then focused on James in bewilderment. “What are you doing?” And what was ‘this’ to begin with? 

“I care about you – greatly,” James said, plunging into the unknown. “You are obviously hurting and I hate seeing you in pain. I want you to feel good instead.”

For one moment, Severus considered pulling back his hand, but James was still his master and at liberty to do whatever he wanted. But why would James want to do ‘that’?

James wasn’t surprised to see bafflement in those dark eyes. “As I said, I greatly care about you.” He turned Severus’ hand about and pressed a gentle kiss against the palm. 

“I don’t understand,” Severus admitted hesitantly. “What do you want from me?” Maybe his master had reconsidered and did want to use his body? Severus shuddered. He would give in, he knew that. He had to – James was his master and he couldn’t deny him, but he had just begun to hope…

“No!” James fervently shook his head. “No, don’t do that! I am not like Malfoy! I will never force you against your will.” Realizing it was important to remain calm, he added, “It’s the truth. I care about you.” He drew in a deep breath, kept his gaze fastened on Severus’ eyes, and admitted, “I am in love with you.”

Severus blinked. He must have misheard. James couldn’t have possibly said that! “I am sorry, I must have misheard.”

“No,” James said and gave him a sad look. “You didn’t. I don’t know when exactly it happened, but I am in love with you.”

Severus shook his head. “You can’t be. You told me yourself that you don’t like guys that way. You want to date Lily instead.”

“No, I no longer do,” James replied in a firm tone. My feelings for you grew stronger these last few days. I want to be with you. I want to hold you in your sleep and watch over your dreams. I want you to be safe. I want you to be happy. I want you to sleep peacefully. And I want you to heal. That’s why I am not plotting revenge against the Malfoys; I know you need my support and I am happy to give it. Not because I must, but because I want to!”

Severus was only capable of staring at James in wonder. What was his master talking about? “No one loves a slave. Why would you?”

“Because I care about you – greatly.” James hadn’t planned it like this, but now that he had confessed, there was no turning back. “You are right. I never knew I could feel that way about another boy, or man. I thought I was only attracted to girls, but I was wrong. I’m attracted to you.” Severus’ eyes darkened with a hint of fear. “Not just in a sexual way, though I must admit I have wanted to kiss you for some time. I love the way your hand fits in mine – the way you cuddle up to me in sleep. I love the expression in your eyes when you look at me when you realized you don’t need to fear me. I love seeing you carefree and happy. And the physical aspect? It’s much too soon for that. You need to heal and I need time to accept I got my sexual preference all wrong.”

The look Severus gave him was hard to interpret. “I am serious, Sev. If you want to kiss me, I will gladly kiss you back. If you want to touch me, I will welcome it. If you want to hold me, I will wrap my arms around you in turn. If you want to discuss your feelings, I will listen, but please believe me, when I say that I will never, ever, force myself on you. I am not like that. I want you to be happy, not miserable.”

Severus gingerly nodded. “I do believe you. It’s just hard to consider the possibility you might have such feelings for me. I know what I am. I know what I did in order to survive. I know what I let them do to me because I am a slave. It never occurred to me that someone could develop such feelings for me -- a slave.”

James was grateful that Severus managed to remain calm. Although the disbelief was there, there was also hope in those eyes. “We will take things slowly, yes? Let’s see how things progress in the next two months.”

Severus blinked. Why set a time limit? “Why two?”

“I don’t know,” James lowered his gaze; he was a terrible liar and he knew it. “I am the old –fashioned kind.” A stroke of genius came to him then. “My dad proposed my mum after they dated for three months. I want to stick to that tradition.” This time, Severus’ eyes widened and the young man’s breathing quickened. 

“Propose? Propose what?” In Merlin’s name, what was James talking about?

“Well, marriage of course.” James wasn’t surprised Severus hadn’t caught on, knowing the other young man always thought of that. 

Severus shook his head in disbelief. “You must be joking. No one marries a slave! I am yours, body and soul, or have you forgotten what the bond entails? You don’t have to marry me in order to fuck me!”

James cringed at the way Severus had phrased that. “Don’t… I am still working up courage to even consider sleeping with you.” He knew he had to be brutally honest and he was going to take a leap of faith. “I never assumed I would one day end up on the bottom.” Severus stilled. The young man completely froze next to him. “I hope you don’t think I would subject you to being on the receiving end ever again, do you? I know what you went through! What that bastard did to you! I would never do that to you!” Severus’ expression told him that his words had hit home.

Severus moistened his lips, tried to speak, but his voice failed him. He could merely stare at James in wonder.

“Yes, on our wedding night I want you to top. I know you will be careful with me and… reduce the discomfort for me.”

Severus was at a loss for words. What was James talking about? “A master doesn’t subject himself to that. You are my master - you are the dominant part!” Reversing their roles was something Severus’ couldn’t even consider. No master allowed a slave to top!

“It’s too early to discuss this,” James realized, but at least he had made his intentions known. Severus now knew what to expect. In retrospect, James felt their talk had gone rather well. He had mentioned their upcoming wedding without slipping about the message from the Ministry. If possible, he was going to keep that to himself. He didn’t want Severus to believe he felt coerced to marry him in order to free him from the slave-bond. “But I need you to know I am serious. I have the best intentions. I know I am still too young to even consider marriage, but it worked for my parents, so why wouldn’t it work for us? We fit. We complement each other. I am merely asking you for a chance to make this work.”

“Are you under some spell? Did someone hex you? I can check for it, if you’ll allow it.” He couldn’t work his magic on his master without his permission. James’ behavior definitely worried him. 

“No spell, no hex. I assure you that my feelings are completely mine.” He knew he had to stop pushing the matter, but he couldn’t. “Sev, do you have any feelings for me in turn? Any kind of feelings?”

Severus couldn’t believe James had actually asked him that! “You are my master. If you want me to desire you, I will…” He would pretend, he would do whatever James wanted.

“Be honest with me, please.” James rubbed Severus’ fingers lightly. “Do you like me?”

Severus couldn’t disobey and had to answer such a direct question. He blushed, lowered his gaze, and confessed, “I do.”

“I know you do,” James assured him. “And that’s fine, because I feel the same way and I want you to like me. Sev, are you attracted to me?” Severus squirmed against him, sudden discomfort radiating from his body. “Sev?”

“I…” Severus bit onto his bottom lip. “I like you too – a great deal, more than I liked anyone ever before, but… I’m a slave… I am not supposed to have any feelings for you – not that kind anyway. I’m a slave. You don’t need me to feel a certain way to use my body.”

“But I don’t want to use you.” James clarified. “If you feel comfortable making love with me, we will, but until then I will settle for holding you and doing this…” 

Severus swallowed hard at feeling James’ lips return to the back of his hand in order to place another kiss there. “I don’t understand you,” he admitted, “I don’t understand any of this.”

“You will - eventually.” James promised. He guided Severus’ hand against his chest, wrapped an arm around the young man’s shoulders, and encouraged him to lean against him for support, which Severus did after a moment’s hesitation. Refraining from speaking, he settled for joining Severus in watching out over the virgin snow.

//

In the end, Severus had fallen asleep again, resting against him. Hoping Severus wasn’t going to wake up yet, James carried him back to their bed. He smiled at that thought – their bed. He liked that idea. He placed Severus onto the mattress and covered him so he would keep warm. He was about to start the day by showering, when the knock on the door came. He checked if Severus hadn’t woken and then tiptoed over to the door. “Dad,” he said, at the same time registering the worried, yet pleased look on his father’s face. “We’re fine.”

Ben raised an eyebrow. “Define fine.”

James momentarily closed the door behind him and shrugged. “I happened to mention I plan on proposing in three months, and no, I didn’t mention the letter from the Ministry. It just happened. I told him how much I care about him and I admitted to being in love. I know he feels the same way, but he isn’t ready yet to admit it. That’s fine. I am patient. I can wait.”

Ben marveled about the change that had come over his son. Before freeing Severus from the Malfoys his son had been rather self-centered. That had definitely changed. “Don’t overwhelm him. Go slow.”

“I will – I do…” James promised. “Did you want anything?”

Ben chuckled. Was his son actually shielding Severus from him? “I was wondering if the two of you will join me. I am heading for the lake, so Severus can break in those skates he got.”

James thought it over. “We need a little time.” He checked the time. “We’ll meet you in an hour in the breakfast room, yes?”

Ben smiled at his son. It warmed his heart that James was looking out for Severus. “That’s fine with me.” He ruffled James’ hair, which his son immediately flattened after uttering a protesting ‘dad!’ As Ben walked toward his lab to kill some time, he realized their lives would never be the same again.

//

As he joined James in walking to the breakfast room, Severus still felt dazed. Had that conversation really happened or had it been a dream? He was too nervous to actually ask James that and so he felt torn. Had he imagined James declaring his love for him or had James really done so? But it was impossible! He had never heard of a master who loved his slave. Why would James be the first? There was no need to! A slave belonged to his master body and soul. There was no reason for any affection or love to exist between them!

James wondered what was wrong with Severus. That dark hair hid his features perfectly, preventing him from reading Severus’ expression. Hoping that touch would reassure Severus that everything was fine, James reached for his good hand and brought it to his lips in order to kiss it. Severus, froze next to him and it forced him to stop walking. “Sev?”

Severus stared at James in bewilderment. James was doing it again! His master was kissing his palm! Why?

“I know it’s a lot to take in. Just give it time, will you?”

“So, you really did…” He couldn’t speak the words. They felt wrong!

“Tell you that I am in love with you?” James finished. “Yes, I did.” He had kind of expected Severus to doubt his words. “I really care a lot about you,” he repeated his earlier statement. “And I hope you will give me a chance to prove myself to you.”

“You don’t have to,” Severus whispered, wondering why James refused to acknowledge the truth. “I told you before, you own me in body and soul.”

James stopped walking, turned toward Severus, and searched those dark eyes for clues. “I don’t want to own you. I want to earn your love though. Severus, I know you like me, otherwise you wouldn’t be comfortable with me touching you. Furthermore, you have been touching me out of your own accord, whether you want to acknowledge that, or not. I really think we can make this work.”

Severus felt totally lost. “I don’t know what you want from me. I am not even sure I’m capable of those feelings you claim I have toward you. I don’t want to have sex ever again – if I can get away with it. James, it hurts. I don’t want to go through that again.” But he would comply, should his master decide to claim him, he already knew that. James had treated him better than he could have hoped. Taking it up the ass again, or sucking his master off, might not be as painful as it had been with Lucius. James might not hurt him that badly. Maybe it was best to get over with. “How do you want me? Hands and knees? On my back?” Once it was over, he would know what to expect in the future, he hoped.

“No,” James whispered, feeling rather distressed. “Not like that.” Risking it all, he leaned in closer and pressed his lips against Severus’. He kept the kiss light, and chaste. No tongue at all. Just a light touching, a light caress, which would hopefully reassure Severus.

Severus found himself responding to the kiss, not because he had to, but because James was incredibly tender and Severus wanted more. No one had ever kissed him like that. Lucius had bitten his lips and tongue, often until they bled. He had never been kissed in such a way.

James felt Severus respond and smiled. Severus might be struggling to understand their changed dynamics, but his hormones were reacting just fine. “Perfect.” James said, complimenting his kissing partner. “I want it to be like that,” he clarified. “I don’t want it to be about pain and submission. Hopefully that kiss helps you understand.” Linking their fingers, he pulled Severus along. “Let’s go, Sev, you need to eat breakfast!”

Completely stunned Severus allowed James to drag him along. His mind was still trying to progress that kiss. 

//

Ben cast a quick look at Severus in order to make sure the young man wouldn’t be cold once they stepped outside. He smiled then, realizing Evelyn’s mothering had rubbed off on their son. James was checking the shawl, handing Severus mittens and even slipped a beanie onto that dark hair, carefully making sure those ears were covered too. Evelyn would love hearing about this! “All set?” Ben chuckled at receiving Severus’ patient nod. He could tell that James’ mothering surprised Severus, but the young man was allowing it anyway. It was a good sign, as far as Ben was concerned. He really did believe that these two were well-suited for each other. 

“We’re ready,” James replied once he felt content with Severus being properly dressed. He was tempted to add a warming spell, but didn’t, recalling his dad’s warning not to point his wand at Severus, as it could trigger bad memories. The skates, which he had shrunk, sat in the pocket of his coat. 

Severus wasn’t sure how to react when James claimed his hand and slipped it into his pocket, mitten and all. He could pull away if he wanted, knowing there would be no consequences, but truth be told, he rather enjoyed the close contact. If only James hadn’t made the ridiculous claim of being in love with him!

Ben fell into pace next to them and every so often looked at them. They looked at ease. James actually looked damn pleased with himself and Severus like he would have enjoyed this if he hadn’t been so worried.

//

“Be careful,” James cautioned. “You haven’t done this before and I don’t want you to fall.” Although his father would be watching, a cushioning charm might not prevent a fall if cast too late.

Severus felt on edge. He had never been on the ice before and the frozen lake rather intimidated him. “Are you sure it’s safe?” He didn’t want to end up falling through the ice and into the chilly water.

“Quite sure.” For the last two weeks it had constantly frozen and the ice was as stable as it would ever get. “Slowly,” he urged Severus, who now followed him onto the ice.

Ben watched them with amusement. It was endearing to watch James look after Severus. Yes, these two would mate for life. A love forged out of these hearts would be unbreakable. 

Severus stepped onto the ice and sucked in his breath. He didn’t want to do this, but it seemed important to James, so he went ahead and tried it anyway. The fact that Mr. Potter stood at the side and watched them reassured him somewhat, and he took another step, only to slide readily into James’ waiting arms.

James wrapped his arms around Severus and smiled. “I’ve got you.” To his delight, Severus grew incredibly flustered. “I’ll look after you. Don’t worry.” Severus was close – so damn close – and his hormones got the better of him, once more touching his lips to their counterparts. Had anyone told him some time ago that kissing Severus could be so pleasurable, he would have laughed at the poor sod. But Severus’ lips tasted good and he wanted more.

Severus couldn’t believe James was actually doing this! Mr. Potter was watching them! He felt torn between pushing James away, so Mr. Potter wouldn’t punish him for answering that kiss, and giving in, because James’ lips were soft and sweet. 

Ben sat down on a fallen tree trunk and watched them, seeing the love that bound them. The Ministry’s letter didn’t surprise him, not now that he knew what was going on. He didn’t doubt they’d work out. He merely did hope James found a way to consummate the wedding in time. He agreed with his wife; Severus had already been through too much and bottoming would cause another setback. James had to do it. It would also balance out their bound if it realized James was willing to empower his partner. Maybe, in time, another talk was in order, but then with both of them. 

Severus, suddenly realizing that Mr. Potter was watching, forgot to breathe and pulled away, quickly seeking out the older wizard’s form. Seeing him smile and nod encouragingly took him by surprise.

“Dad knows,” James whispered, “So does mum. They both encouraged me to tell you. You have nothing to fear from them.”

Severus sought out James’ eyes again, not really realizing the other man was guiding his steps as they moved further out onto the ice. “How can they? Surely they had high hopes for you. A marriage into another Pureblood family would have further increased your standing in the wizarding world.”

“We don’t care about that. Mum and dad care about love, not our standing. They married because they were in love, and they still are, I really think that. That’s why they want me to do this. I could have fallen in love with a goblin for all they care and they would approve of it.”

Severus frowned thoughtfully. ”I never knew such people existed. With the Malfoys…” he grew quiet though, not wanting to ruin the moment and he did need to concentrate on where his feet were going. He shivered, realizing they were moving toward the center of the lake. 

“Try not to fall, yes? I will show you how it is done.” Little by little, he let go and moved away from Severus. “Just watch and try not to fall on your ass.”

Severus couldn’t help it; he blushed again, which seemed to amuse James, as he chuckled. Doing as told, he observed James skating over the ice. It looked so damn easy, but Severus knew he wouldn’t be able to pull it off. He wasn’t graceful or athletic and James was both. James was obviously showing off, but Severus didn’t mind. He liked seeing James so carefree. Carefully, he tried to move forward and felt thrilled when it actually worked. 

James watched carefully and smiled at seeing Severus get the hang of it. “You’re a natural!” He hadn’t expected that, but it pleased him nonetheless. 

Severus wasn’t so sure about that, but being able to stay on his feet and not landing hard on his ass was wonderful. Could it be that he had found something he didn’t suck at?

“You can do this!” Opening his arms, he beckoned Severus toward him. “I’ll catch you,” he promised.

Severus nodded and continued to move toward James. Since he didn’t quite trust the ice, he kept a watchful eye on it, and was therefore the first to notice the crack in it. He sucked in his breath, watched the crack expand, and then the horrid sound of ice breaking apart assaulted his ears. “James!” he screamed out, trying to warn him that he was in danger. The fissure moved right toward James!

James noticed the danger too late. The ice gave away and ruptured with a sickening sound. His reflexes slowed down and the ice cold water claimed him, dragging him down as it seeped into his heavy clothing. He tried to reach for his wand, but his fingers seemed to have lost all feeling in the icy water. He tried to scream for help, but dark water closed over his head and smothered his cries.

Severus headed toward the crack without second thought. He didn’t worry about endangering himself. All he could think about was helping James into safety. Realizing the ice was brittle, he lowered himself on to his stomach and crawled toward the crack. One of James’ hands still showed above the surface and he grabbed hold of it, not even noticing the sharp spikes of ice that cut through the fabric and into his chest and abdomen. Pain didn’t exist – not at that moment in time. He managed to grab James’ hand and started to pull, wishing he could spell James into safety, but a slave couldn’t use his magic on his master – it was the law and the geas made sure he obeyed. He had to do this the Muggle way. The ice bit deeper into his skin and Severus’ eyes widened, suddenly realizing the terrible cold that invaded his chest and the wet warmth of blood that seeped from the wounds. He forced himself to ignore it and with superhuman strength, pulled James out of the water and onto the ice. 

James struggled for breath – the cold water almost choking him and he desperately held onto Severus’ wrist. His teeth rattled due to the cold and violent shivers shook his body.

Severus looked about in panic. Where was James’ father? Why wasn’t Mr. Potter intervening? “Help! Please help him!”

Ben, who had been mentally reviewing a new potion he had invented, was pulled from his musings and reacted at once. Spinning around, he took in the scene on the ice and chided himself for not paying attention. Apparating, he added a levitation spell and hovered over the ice, not daring to put his weight on it. He stared at them in shock. This was his fault. He had been negligent!

“Take him to safety, please!” Severus begged. The pain was increasing, but he wouldn’t give into it until James was out of danger. “Take him home!”

Ben nodded, realizing his son needed to get warm as quickly as possible. He grabbed James, lifted him in his arms, and disapparated. “Evelyn,” he called out at arriving in their little medical wing. “I need you!”

Evelyn, who had been chatting with Murky, spun around and apparated to her husband. “Dear Merlin, what happened?” 

“James fell into the ice. Severus got him out. Take care of him. I am going back for the boy.” Ben didn’t wait for Evelyn to answer him, but disapparated.

Evelyn acted at once, spelled the wet clothes away, used a warming charm on her son and levitated him onto the bed.”You’ll be alright, James… You’ll be fine.”

James had trouble understanding her. The cold that permeated his bones made it hard to pay her proper attention. In the end, he managed only one word, “Severus...”

“Your dad went back for him. James, you need to calm down and drink this.” She placed the vial holding the potion at his lips. “Drink!”

James complied, but begged her with his eyes. The moment he had finished, he repeated his plea. “Severus!”

“He’ll be fine, James… Now try to rest… Sleep if you can.” The potion would unfold its effects in a moment and then James would fall asleep so his body could restore itself. 

“I… want… Severus,” James sighed as he lost the battle to stay awake. 

“He’ll be here soon,” she comforted him, but truth be told, Ben was taking an awful long time to do so.

//

Ben was careful to maintain the levitation spell as the ice wouldn’t be able to carry his weight. He cringed at seeing the stain beneath Severus, slowly coloring the ice red. Cussing, he bent down and gathered the boy in his arms. One look at Severus told him that the youngster had fainted. They owed Severus a life debt for saving James the way he had, but that could wait. He flinched at seeing the shards of ice that had penetrated Severus’ chest; they had shredded the coat. He guided the boy’s hands against his shoulders and apparated away, painfully aware that each second counted.

//

Evelyn had just finished tucking James in when her husband returned. Seeing the blood spreading across Severus’ coat, she knew she had to be quick. 

Ben, knowing better than to get in her way, let his wife take charge, while he gathered all necessary potions. He returned a moment later and found Severus, naked and shivering in the bed next to James, who was peacefully asleep. Thank Merlin for small mercies! Taking in the damage, Ben realized Severus’ injuries were serious. The ice had punctured Severus’ chest as well as abdomen. “It must have happened when he pulled James out of the water.”

Evelyn nodded. “Those are painful injuries and require time to heal, but they are not life-threatening. What happened?” She continued to clean the wounds with the potion and salves her husband handed her.

“James fell through the ice and Severus pulled him out – literally pulled him out. I wonder why he didn’t use magic.”

“Because he can’t!” She sighed and shook her head at the lack of his knowledge. “He can only use his magic regarding James when he has his explicit permission.” 

“But the slave-bond is no longer in place,” Ben pointed out and helped Severus sit up while Evelyn bandaged his chest and abdomen.

“But Severus doesn’t know that, does he? Or does he already know about the Ministry’s letter about his changed standing?” 

“No, he doesn’t,” Ben admitted and realized they had made a mistake. But no one had foreseen this happening!

Evelyn stopped herself from indicating ‘I told you so’. This wasn’t the place or time to berate anyone. “He’s stable for now. You should give him some of that sleeping draught you tweaked. He really needs some rest. It will help him heal.”

Ben had already gathered said potion earlier and now encouraged Severus to drink it by gently massaging the youngster’s throat. “He didn’t hesitate. He didn’t think twice to save James.”

“Had James died, Severus would have been free. He must love our son very much in order to choose saving him over his freedom,” Evelyn pointed out.

That thought hadn’t occurred yet to Ben. “We owe Severus a life-debt.”

Evelyn nodded. “Which might come in handy when dealing with the Ministry.”

Ben agreed. He was now even more determined to make sure Severus gained his freedom. As far as Ben was concerned the youngster’s days as a slave were over.

//

James didn’t feel well when he opened his eyes. He was nauseous and cold, and when he tried to move his hand, the limb felt heavy. What was wrong with him? It took most of his strength to simply open his eyes. That wasn’t right. Opening them shouldn’t be this hard!

“Don’t move yet. You’re still a bit under the weather.”

Recognizing his mum’s voice made James shift his head – slightly, as he still felt incredibly weak. “What… happened?” he managed after gathering his strength.

“You fell through the ice while skating. Don’t you remember?” Evelyn brushed back a stray lock from his unruly hair.

James blinked slowly. At first, he didn’t remember a thing, but then his memory returned. He had offered to teach Severus how to skate and then the ice had given away beneath him. He whimpered at remembering how the cold and dark water had threatened to keep him from surfacing again. 

“Severus got you out. He saved you,” Evelyn said and stroked her son’s face. Catching his panic, she soothed him at once. “Severus is fine. He’s in the bed next to you.”

James managed to turn his head and sighed in relief at seeing Severus asleep. He blinked questioningly at seeing the bandages. 

Having mercy on her son, Evelyn explained. “He injured himself when he pulled you out. The chapped ice ate itself a way into his chest and abdomen. He will recover, but he’s bedridden for now.”

“As am I?” 

“No, you can get up in a few hours. Your body temperature is back to normal. Severus, on the other hand, lost blood.”

James knew he couldn’t stay awake for much longer as his exhaustion was catching up with him. “I love him,” he told his mum, needing to hear those words himself. “I love him and can’t lose him.”

“You won’t. Severus will recover. He just needs a little time.”

James hoped his mum was right. Unable to stay awake much longer, sleep claimed him again.

//

James gave his dad a pleading look, hoping it would do the trick. “Please…” 

Although Ben didn’t think it was a good idea to move James to a chair close to Severus’ bed, he gave in anyway. He would want to be closer to his partner too. “We will do this slowly, understood?”

James nodded eagerly, pleased that his dad had given in. His mum wouldn’t have done that. He waited until his dad had a good hold on him and then sat up. Together, they made their way to the chair next to Severus’ bed. “He looks awfully pale,” James noticed as he slowly sat down. He was fine, except he felt incredibly weak on his feet. His brain was functioning perfectly though. Leaning in closer, he claimed Severus’ hand and found the cast gone. He twined their fingers and watched Severus closely. His dad had told him that Severus had suffered these injuries while getting him out the freezing water. He shivered, remembering just how cold it had been. “He will get better, won’t he, dad?”

“Yes, most wounds have already closed, but his body has little reserves. He needs to rest a little longer than you.”

James considered that. “I will stay here as well. I want to keep an eye on him. He’s trouble.”

Ben smiled. “Isn’t it correct to say you are trouble, and Severus is rather good at getting you out?”

James had the grace to blush. “Probably. I reckon this answers any questions I might have left. He does love me.”

“I don’t doubt that. It’s in his eyes, you know. Whenever he looks at you and believes no one is watching him in turn, you can see it. It shines from within.” Evelyn walked into the room and came to a halt behind his chair. She placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. “The two of you will be very happy once he accepts this. His life is changing in so many ways. Give him time to deal with that.”

“I know that,” James answered. “I will give him all the time he needs. I do love him.” He chuckled. “I love Sev.”

“Sev?” Ben returned the chuckle. “Sounds good. Less severe.”

Severus, who had woken the moment James had taken hold of his hand, felt dazed listening to them. Apparently everything James had told him was true. James was in love with him and his parents approved, even seemed to encourage him. It made no sense at all.

//

“I know you’re awake,” Ben told Severus. 

“What gave me away?” Severus had believed he was able to fool the older wizard.

“You breathing changed.”

Of course, he chided himself, he should have paid more attention to that, but he was tired, so deadly tired. He managed to twist his head so he could look at James. Thankfully, he was asleep once more.

“Thank you for saving him,” Ben said as he moved his chair closer to Severus’ bed. “Evelyn told me you would have been free had James died.”

Severus didn’t want to discuss any of it, but since Mr. Potter was making him… “I had no choice. I couldn’t let him die. Not like that.”

Ben monitored Severus’ expression closely. “You couldn’t let him die period.”

Severus sighed, recalling they knew. “I care about him, yes,” he said and avoided all eye-contact. “I care about him a lot.”

“You love him,” Ben reminded him gently. “Evelyn and I are fine with that.”

Severus moistened his lips and still refused to make eye-contact. “As I told James earlier, I am not sure I am capable of love.”

“I am sure you are,” Ben assured him and exchanged his chair for the bed, causing Severus to look up at him in surprise. “My son is rather set on marrying you shortly.” He figured helping James in his quest would be a good thing. “And we approve of that too.”

Severus shook his head in disbelief. “He loves Lily.”

“He was infatuated with her, but he loves you.”

Severus still wasn’t convinced. “Marrying me serves no purpose. The other Pureblood families will shun you and it will decrease your standing. No one marries a slave. He should marry Lily instead.”

“He won’t, as he doesn’t love her. Severus, Evelyn and I raised James to follow his heart, which is exactly what he is doing. James has my blessing, and Evelyn’s as well.” He gently rested his hand on Severus’ and patted its back. “You have a good heart, Severus, and a kind soul. The two of you are a good match.”

Severus stared at the way Mr. Potter was patting his hand. It seemed so wrong. He was his master! 

“Why are you so opposed to the idea of the two of you being together?” Ben decided to push a little now that Severus seemed relaxed and willing to talk.

“I…” Severus hesitated. He could hardly believe he was considering putting his trust in the older wizard.

“Yes, go on…”

Severus drew in a deep breath. “It’s all wrong. James can’t be in love with me. I don’t know what he’s feeling, but it will pass and then he will regret this. If this is just a ploy to fuck me then it isn’t necessary. He is my Master. As his slave I am his – body and soul. I told him that. He doesn’t need to court me in order to –“

“Severus, stop, please.” Those large dark eyes finally focused on him, making Ben’s heart ache for the boy. “This isn’t an act on James’ part. Believe me, my son isn’t capable of that. His feelings are genuine. He is in love with you. And no, this isn’t a ploy to have sex with you. I don’t know if you realize this, but he’s a virgin and he’s even considering being on the receiving end, just so you won’t get hurt again. Does that sound like an elaborate ploy to have his way with you?”

“No, it doesn’t,” and that was what confused him. 

“James isn’t like Lucius, Severus. My son cares about you. He is in love with you and he wants a chance to make this work. It doesn’t matter to him that you were born a slave. James would remedy that, if he could. He loves you for who you are, Severus. And I love you for saving my son. You have a place within this family, forever.” Seeing tears make their way down Severus’ face didn’t surprise Ben; he had hoped Severus would finally acknowledge his fears. 

“Dad’s right,” James said, who had woken up and had been listening. “I do love you.”

Severus startled at hearing James’ voice as he had believed him asleep. “You’ll regret this. One day you’ll realize that you can do so much better. Then you will remember what I am and you’ll desert me. My heart won’t be able to take that. It’ll die. I won’t survive finally being loved and then dumped.”

James sat up, swung his feet onto the floor, and made his way over to the bed. His dad moved out of the way, and James slipped between the covers and pulled Severus into his arms. “I won’t. I don’t make promises lightly. Look at my parents. They still love each other and they always will because they are a match. We are a match too, Severus, I just know it.”

“I want to believe you,” Severus said in a tiny voice. “But I’m afraid.”

Ben moved to the doorway to give them some privacy as his son seemed to have the situation under control.

“I’ll never willingly hurt you. I won’t dump you, Sev. Something deep inside me tells me that this is meant to be.” James knew that only time would convince Severus his feelings for him were true. He could only hope Severus would give him that chance. “But you should rest now. It was a brave thing you did, coming after me. Thank you for that.”

Severus blushed. “Your father would have rescued you at any rate.”

“Maybe,” James replied. “But you moved the fastest. Thank you for that.” James placed his hands on either side of Severus’ head and moved closer in order to kiss him.

This time, the kiss started out chaste, but when James’ tongue nudged against his teeth, Severus allowed him in. No one had ever kissed him like that before. No one had ever WANTED to kiss him that intimately before, and although his heart urged him not to enjoy it as much as he did, he gave in to temptation. He wanted to know what it was like – to be loved in that way.

The fact that Severus was allowing this thrilled James, who was careful not to overdo it. He indulged himself for another moment and then moved away, giving Severus some space. “You taste good.”

Unused as he was to receiving compliments, Severus lowered his gaze and wished his blush would finally fade. 

“Did you like that?” 

Finally finding back his courage enabled Severus to make eye contact and he managed a weak nod. 

“I liked it too and I hope we’ll do it again shortly, but for now, you need to rest. Do you think you can sleep?”

Severus nodded again. “I am tired,” he admitted. James guided his head against a shoulder and Severus closed his eyes in bliss since the other young man was wrapping him up in an embrace. “I like you,” he admitted, not really realizing he was saying it instead of just thinking it.

James exchanged a look with his dad, who nodded and then stepped out of the room in order to give them some privacy. “I like you too,” James whispered as he didn’t want to wake Severus again. “I like you a lot.”

//

“Don’t get up yet.” Evelyn stopped Severus from sitting up. “You need more rest.”

Severus obeyed her. She was his mistress. It didn’t occur to him to object – at least not a direct order. “I’m better, mistress…” He cringed at the hurt look she gave him. “I am sorry, Mrs. Potter. I forgot.”

“I want you to call me Evelyn. No more Mrs. Potter, understood?”

Severus felt a momentary fit of panic course through him – he had felt like that when his master had insisted he called him James. “I will try,” he said and avoided addressing her in the end. 

“Good, that’s all I’m asking.” Evelyn cast a diagnostic spell on him and seemed content. “One more day in bed and then we’ll see about you getting onto your feet.” Like Ben, she had thanked him for saving James, but Severus had waved it away. Then she had mentioned the life debt and he had given her a dazed look, reminding her that he was a slave and life debts could only exist between persons. She had just shook her head at that statement. 

Severus looked away. She had called him her future son in law earlier that day and he still didn’t know how to respond to that. Why was everyone so damn convinced that James and he would end up married?

//

James didn’t plan on leaving Severus’ side any time soon. Although the dark-haired wizard was still bed-ridden, James wanted to spend as much time as possible with him. A fact that still seemed to confuse Severus, who insisted James must have better things to do than sit with him.

“I was thinking about an informal ceremony with just family and close friends,” James was staying, trying to attract Severus’ attention. 

“What did you say?” He hadn’t been really listening, but the word ceremony had drawn his attention. What kind of ceremony was James talking about?

“Our wedding. I was thinking, my parents, and close friends, maybe the Headmaster and our Head of House as witnesses. Do you want to invite anyone?” James was painfully aware of the fact that he knew nothing of Severus’ family. Did he have any? Were they alive, or dead? Of maybe still enslaved?

“There’s no one,” Severus admitted softly. “I never knew my parents and I don’t have any friends.”

James briefly closed his eyes and prayed for guidance. How was he supposed to react to that? “You have them now,” he said eventually. “Family and friends.”

Severus squirmed. “I doubt Sirius Black thinks of me as a friend.”

“He might surprise you.” That reminded him he should owl Sirius, Remus and Lily as well. They should know what was going on in his life. “But do you agree? Or do you wish for a larger wedding?”

“No!” Severus felt shocked at the suggestion. “As tiny as possible!”

James grinned. “So you’re no longer opposed to marrying me?”

Severus gave up. No matter what he said or did would change James’ mind –he knew that. “Honestly?”

“Yes, tell me - honestly. How do you feel about marrying me? And don’t hold back. I want to know.”

Severus wasn’t sure about that, but plunged ahead anyway. “It’s not that simple. As a slave, saying no isn’t an option. If you want to marry me, for whatever mad reason, I’ll comply. It would actually be to my advantage, gaining your parents’ protection as well. As a slave, I don’t have a choice.”

“And as a person?” James had expected this and didn’t feel shocked. He didn’t disapprove, knowing by now how Severus’ mind worked. The other wizard had been a slave too long to change his thoughts overnight.

“If I were a person, you mean?”

“Yes, would you accept my proposal as a person? I see you as a person, you know, and not as a slave. You have every right to turn me down, though I must admit I hope you won’t.”

“The reason for that still eludes me,” Severus confessed in an unguarded moment. “But to answer your question, I would probably consider it in earnest. You are a good match.” It was all he was going to say about it.

James however wasn’t satisfied. He leaned in closer, grinned, and said, “And let’s not forget that you are in love with me. Let’s not forget you risked your life in order to save mine. Let’s bear in mind that you don’t mind kissing me back. And by Merlin, you taste good.” Giving in to the insane urge to experience that sensation again, he claimed Severus’ lips, possessing them. 

Severus closed his eyes and surrendered all control, like he always did, picking up clues and trying to keep James satisfied. However, he couldn’t deny that he liked being kissed like that. It made him feel good. It caused a warm sensation in the pit of his stomach and it made him light-headed.

“I’d like to set a date for the ceremony.” James noticed the growing enthusiasm on Severus’ part and thought of it as a good thing. 

Severus thought he had misheard. “Why this quickly? You have time. I am not going anywhere.”

“I want you to be mine. I want you to belong with me. I don’t want anyone questioning that.”

Severus marveled about James’ words. “I don’t understand why you are in such a hurry.”

“Humor me,” James said. He would tell Severus about the Ministry’s demands after they had consummated their marriage. He didn’t want Severus to think that they were doing this for the wrong reasons. “I’d like to marry you on February first.”

That was just a month from now, Severus realized. “If that’s what you want.”

James saw the moist shimmer to Severus’ eyes and suspected the other boy was close to shedding tears. Something – maybe it was the bond – told him that Severus had never expected to be a married man one day. “I know this is a lot to take in, but your life HAS changed, Sev.”

Severus merely nodded his consent. “February first it is.” He wasn’t particularly looking forward to their wedding night, but he was sure he would somehow manage. After all the torture he had gone through at Lucius’ hands, he would surely survive spreading his legs for James.

//

Severus wondered why James was back at this late hour. Mrs. Potter had given him his restorative potion and then told him to go to sleep. What was even stranger, was the fact that James was wearing pajamas. 

“Move over, will you?” James sat down on the side of the bed and raised his legs.

Severus complied, creating some space for James to lie down. “What are you doing here?” he asked timidly.

“I’m not leaving you alone for the night. What if you get sick or a nightmare wakes you? I’m staying.” James laid down on his back and pulled Severus gently into his arms, guiding the dark head onto his chest. “You should get some sleep.”

Severus knew better than to question James. “I AM tired,” he admitted.

“Then close your eyes and sleep.” James pressed a kiss onto Severus’ brow, although he would have preferred to kiss those soft lips. But they had to go to sleep, and James knew he wouldn’t be able to do so if he tasted those lips again. He found himself wanting more each time he kissed Severus. 

Severus cuddled up to James. Although his heart continued to warn him about the risks he was taking, it was also urging him on. “Thank you, James.”

“For what? I should be thanking you for hauling my ass out of that lake!”

“Thank you for making my life bearable. Thank you for saving me from Lucius. Thank you for protecting me and taking care of me. You will never truly understand how much you changed my life for the better. Thanks to you I’m not scared anymore. I’m healthy for a change.” Opening up to James like that would have been impossible a month ago, but a lot of changed since then. These days, he trusted James Potter.

James felt shy at hearing all that. “And yet, thanks to me you broke your wrist and ended up injured on the ice. I really need to work on my protector’s skills.” James used a teasing tone, as he didn’t want Severus to panic again. “I promise, I’ll improve in time.” When he didn’t receive an answer, he tilted his head, only to see Severus’ eyes had closed. The young man was finally asleep – and peacefully at that.

//

Evelyn happened upon them in the morning. She sat down and studied them. Hopefully Severus would accept her son’s marriage proposal. It was only right the two of them made it official. She didn’t mind gaining a son instead of daughter. Severus was brave and worthy.

“Mum,” James whispered, having just woken. “It must still be early.” Too early to get out of bed as it was still dark.

“It’s only six in the morning,” she confirmed. “No need to get up yet. I’m only here to check on Severus.”

“He’s fine. He hasn’t had any nightmares either.”

“Let’s hope it stays like that.” 

James went back to sleep and therefore didn’t notice his dad’s arrival. Ben went over to his wife, pulled her gently to her feet, and enfolded her in a hug. “James wants to get married February first,” he reminded her.

“Good date,” she agreed. “And since it will only be close friends and family, doable.” She fell into pace with him as he guided her out of the room. 

//

Severus was rather impatient. He felt much improved and ready to leave the bed. He should be back on his feet again. He didn’t like being confined to bed.

“Slowly,” James told him. “Don’t overdo it.” His mother had warned him that Severus might have trouble getting to his feet.

Severus was about to tell James not to fuss over him when the vertigo hit him and forced him to grab hold of his companion. James curled his arms around him and steadied him. “Sorry,” Severus muttered, “Didn’t see it coming.”

“No problem.” James focused on supporting his charge. “Just take it slow.” He knew that Severus wanted out of the little sick room, but if the other wizard was still too weak, James was going to put him back into bed.

The dizziness lessened and Severus took another step toward the corridor. It meant a lot to him that James was merely supporting him and not telling him what to do. Slowly, they made their way to Severus’ room, where he eventually sat down on the bed, feeling bone-tired. “This is ridiculous,” Severus insisted. “I can’t be that weak! It was only water!”

“No, it wasn’t,” James contradicted him. “Those shards pierced your chest and abdomen. You lost blood. Don’t downplay it, Sev.”

Severus gave James a displeased look. The other boy had no idea what he had been subjected to while he had been Lucius’ slave. He had survived much worse!

“Lie down,” James instructed, as he lifted Severus’ feet. “I want you to rest now.”

Severus was about to sneer at him, but then noticed the worried look in James’ eyes, reminding him the other boy did care about him. “James?” he said, wondering why the urge to call him master had gone.

“Yes, Sev?” James sat down on the edge of the bed and used his fingers to comb through Severus’ long hair.

Severus was suddenly lost for words. He had never been in a situation like this before and it scared him. “Do you really love me?”

James smiled warmly and nodded once. “I do. I love you, Sev. You must know I am honest.”

Yes, it was there in those eyes. It was in the timbre of James’ voice when he said those words. It was visibly in the way James was touching him. It colored the bond that they shared. “I don’t deserve you.”

“But you do. You really do.” James leaned in closer and stole another kiss. “Sev, do you love me back?”

Severus, although nervous, moistened his lips and said, “I think I do…”

“That’s good enough for me.” James knew Severus needed time. “Why don’t you take a nap? I will be back for lunch.”

“What are you going to do in the meantime?” It wasn’t his place to ask, but he was curious, and a bit bored.

“I want to firecall Remus and maybe Sirius as well.” He didn’t add why, suspecting it might upset Severus to hear he was spreading the news. “No need to worry. You just rest.”

Severus nodded. His eyes were closing at any rate. The little trip to his room had tired him. 

James waited until Severus was vast asleep, and after pressing a loving kiss onto his brow, left the room.

//

Remus studied his friend and decided he liked what he saw – and heard. “So you and Snape are an item?”

“Yes, Severus and I are together. We scheduled the wedding for February first and I was wondering if you’d be my best man.”

“Not Sirius?” James’ request surprised Remus. It was no secret that James and Sirius were as close as brothers.

“No. I’m not sure he’ll understand. He doesn’t like gay people and this is Severus we’re talking about. Severus and Sirius don’t get along.”

“That’s the understatement of the year,” Remus commented. “I’m happy for you though. It’s unexpected, but welcome news. And, yes, of course, I’ll be your best man. I consider it an honor.”

“Would you like to visit? Maybe spend New Years with us? The two of you might want to get to know each other better. You’re a good friend and Severus means a lot to me. I want the two of you to be friends too.”

“I’ll be there. You’re lucky it’s not a full moon. You’ll have some butter beer?”

“Mum and dad will let us have champagne,” James chuckled. “Don’t worry about it. It’ll be nice little party.”

“Are you going to invite Sirius as well?”

“I will, though I don’t know if he’ll accept.”

“There’s only one way to find out,” Remus reminded him. 

James was aware of that. He just hoped Sirius wasn’t in one of those dark moods when he called.

//

James felt way more apprehensive about this firecall than the one before. He sat down carefully, took in a deep breath, and called Sirius through the floo. It didn’t take Sirius long to answer. 

“James! I thought you had forgotten all about me!”

Although Sirius’ tone was cheerful, James heard the hurt beneath it, which surprised him. He had expected anger instead. “I’m sorry, but I had to take care of Severus.”

“Severus? You mean Snape?” 

James cringed, knowing he had a lot of explaining to do. “It’s Severus these days. I got to know him quite well and he’s a decent fellow,” he started off, testing the waters. Sirius’ expression darkened and he braced himself for an angry sneer.

“How well?”

Damn, Sirius had asked the one question he had hoped to avoid until the latter part of their conversation. “We’re in love.” He sucked in his breath and awaited Sirius’ lecture.

“In love?” Sirius sounded stunned.

“It happened gradually. Sirius, he’s a good guy. I’m sure you’ll get along once you get to know him. That’s why I’m calling. Would you like to celebrate New Years over here? Remus is coming too.” He had quickly realized it was much too early to mention the wedding, and with Sirius, he had to do it person. He had to see his friend’s reactions to being told. 

“James, he’s a fucking slave!”

Way too soon, James realized. “You don’t know him the way I do, and Pads, he saved my life. I foolishly skated on the lake and the ice gave away. I fell in and he got me out. He could have let me die – then he would have been free. But he didn’t. He got wounded because he saved my ass.” That seemed to pacify Sirius for the moment, and his tone was much more subdued when he spoke again. 

“I still think it’s wrong. He’s a slave and you’re a Pureblood! You can have anyone you want! What about Lily?”

James cringed. “Infatuation at best. Maybe even my hormones were in overdrive Please, Pads, give him a chance. You are my best friend and it means a lot to me if you’d try. Please.”

Sirius’ sigh traveled through the floo. “I’ll be there on New Years’ Eve, but I can’t make any promises. I don’t like him. Never did.”

“I know that, but I also recall you sticking up for him in the past. Just go into this open-minded, please, Pads.”

“Fine, I’ll try. Be careful around him though. I don’t trust Snape.”

“But I do, Pads, and once you get to know him, so will you.” At least, he hoped so.

//

Severus had his nose buried in a book when James returned to his room. It was good to see that some things didn’t change. “Am I interrupting anything?” he asked and pointed at the potions book.

“No, I can’t seem to concentrate any way.” Severus placed the book aside and tried to gauge James’ mood. “How did the talks go?”

James sat down, rested his back against the headboard, and gestured for Severus to move closer, which the dark-haired wizard did. James sighed contently once Severus was back in his arms. “Remus agreed to be our best man. He’s happy for us.”

Severus hadn’t really expected Lupin to fight James over this, but Sirius…?

“And Sirius was his charming self of course, but I count on him to give you a chance. I invited them over for New Years, hoping Sirius will realize he’s prejudiced.”

Severus understood why James had invited them, but regretted this peace and quiet was coming to an end. “I can’t believe you really want to marry me.” No matter how much he twisted and turned that fact, his mind couldn’t comprehend why James would lower himself in such a way.

James was about to explain himself again, when he thought of a better plan. Clasping Severus’ hands in his, he concentrated on the bond, and almost startled at finding it buzzing with energy. It had never been that strong before and it seemed practically alive. Did Severus feel it too? “Sev,” he said, and focused on sending his love down the bond, hoping Severus felt the sensation. “I do love you,” he whispered, willing Severus to understand.

James’ feelings suddenly seeped through the link and into his mind. In the past, Lucius had used the geas to make him suffer and twist in pain. James had used them in order to calm him down, and now, James was sending him these warm feelings – feelings that spoke of love, dedication, and protection. Severus raised his gaze and quivered at seeing the expression in James’ eyes. There was no more denying it, not even for him – James was in love with him. These feelings were genuine and couldn’t be faked. “I love you too,” he confessed in an unguarded moment when James’ love overwhelmed him. “I want to be with you.”

James smiled now that his strategy was working and hoped the time was right to take another step. Slowly, he claimed Severus’ lips. Severus yielded at once and parted his teeth. James deepened the kiss and chased after Severus’ tongue. “You taste so damn good,” he moaned in-between kisses. 

Severus startled slightly when James pulled him onto his lap, but he complied nonetheless. James guided his legs down either side and then wrapped him up in another embrace. He had seldom found himself on top, instead, Lucius and his companions had pressed him down, mostly down into the mattress so they didn’t have to see his face. This was new – different and much better.

Encouraged, James slipped one hand beneath Severus’ shirt and caressed his back. He tried not to cringe when his fingertips encountered the many scars Lucius had left behind on Severus’ back. “I love you,” he whispered, while keeping a close eye on Severus. He didn’t want to spook him.

Severus shivered when James’ fingertips caressed his back and then moved to his side. He didn’t know what to do, how to react. No one had ever desired this from him before. Straddling him, Severus quickly grew aware of the erection straining against his ass. So this was it? James was finally going to state his claim? Severus hoped it wouldn’t be as painful as it had been in the past. James would be gentle with him, wouldn’t he? James did proclaim he loved him.

James’ hormones raged through his body and he desperately wanted to take this further. He wanted to come so badly, but the fact that Severus wasn’t aroused tempered his lust. “I love you so much,” he whispered, and wondered how to get himself out of this situation. He should never have started this.

“How do you want me?” Severus asked, eager to get it over with. Those cloaked eyes, heavy with lust and the need to find release, focused on him and made him apprehensive. Please be gentle with me, he thought desperately.

James knew he had made a mistake when he heard that question, but maybe there was still a way out. Gently, he guided Severus off of him and encouraged him to cuddle up to him again. “This is awkward,” he admitted.

“Why?” James’ actions confused him. A quick spell on James’ part would have removed his clothes and he’d have perfect access to his body. Why was he being moved?

“My hormones,” James said, hoping it would explain his predicament. “And I do want you.” His breathing quickened, and although he feared he was making another mistake, he unzipped his trousers. His cock strained against his underwear and he freed himself quickly. “The things you do to me…”

Severus felt lost. “Just tell me what you want.” Lucius had always screamed his instructions at him when he had failed to figure them out himself. 

James, lost in a haze of lust and passion, linked Severus’ fingers with his and then placed their joined hands on his cock. “Yes, like that…”

Severus wasn’t sure he understood James’ intentions for him. Was it only a hand job he required? Why, when he could fuck him instead? But following James’ lead, he wrapped his fingers around the hard flesh and let James’ set the pace. 

“Fuck,” James muttered the moment he couldn’t take the stimulation anymore. He came hard, his seed spilling over their hands. “Sev…” Claiming those soft lips once, he closed his eyes and savored finding release. 

Severus’ eyes widened when warmth settled down in the pit of his stomach. He couldn’t believe he was actually reacting to this. He had never grown hard before. Lucius and his friends wouldn’t have appreciated it. But this time it was different. Stunned, and feeling rather confused, he realized he was erect too. 

James grinned cheeky at seeing the growing bulge in Severus’ trousers. He hadn’t dared to hope this might happen. After so many years of abuse, Severus might have been unable to become aroused. “Ah yes, that’s perfect.” He licked his lips and looked at Severus, who seemed rather helpless now that his body was reacting in that way. “May I?”

Severus wasn’t sure what James was asking, but it would never occur to him to say no. Slaves never denied their master. He was still trying to progress the fact that his body was still capable of arousal, when James asked him that question.

Severus’ nod was all James needed. “Great, you won’t regret it,” he promised as he unbuttoned Severus’ trousers. Severus certainly wasn’t lacking in that department, he realized as he massaged the aching erection through the fabric of his underwear. But that wasn’t enough. James mumbled a spell which vanished the underwear. “Good,” he muttered approvingly. He couldn’t suppress the fact that he did feel a little possessive as he cupped Severus’ balls in the palm of his hand. All mine, he thought, but was careful not to say the words aloud. 

Severus quavered at feeling James’ hands on him. “What…?” But he didn’t get any further as James suddenly squeezed – gently, but definitely handling ‘it’. 

“Close your eyes, Sev…” James moved closer, getting a better hold on the weeping cock and rubbing his thumb across the slit. He was definitely gay, a part of his subconscious registered. “Enjoy this.” Running his fingers up and down the shaft, he gained a firmer grip and then started to pump Severus in earnest, doing those things to his lover, which he liked best himself.

Severus closed his eyes and wondered what the hell was happening. He never got aroused! Lucius would have had him whipped if it had happened! James however… Severus swallowed hard the moment James sped up. That hand guided him closer to orgasm and when he came, his eyes opened to focus on James. What had they done?

“Lovely,” James whispered and he couldn’t contain himself no longer. “I want to know what you taste like.” Crawling closer, he bent from the hip and lapped at the weeping head, tasting his lover and cleaning him up. Possessively, he swallowed every drop of come until Severus’ exhausted sigh told him he was spent. “That was good.” 

Severus shook his head in disbelief. He had never come like that before. In the past, he might have helped himself to find release, but he had done it privately, hidden away in the dark so no one realized what he was doing. 

“I can’t wait to make this official,” James said as he stretched next to his lover. “Making love will feel even better.”

Severus wondered why James was still touching him. James’ fingers caressed his abdomen and sometimes, moved even lower. Those fingertips ran teasingly over his balls, causing tiny spasms in his lower body. 

James couldn’t regret his past actions. Although they had been rash and could have easily backfired, they had brought them pleasure - both of them. “If it were up to me, we would do that each day.”

Severus blinked in confusion. “Why didn’t you fuck me? Why did you touch me like that?”

“Because I love you, Sev. I want you to feel good about yourself and find release. This isn’t about me slaking my lust on your body. When we do make love, it will be because we both crave it.”

Severus frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“You will,” James promised as he magically cleaned them up. A quick Tempus told him that it was time to get some sleep. “This won’t do,” he said, deciding they were ready for the next step.

Severus squealed at finding himself naked all of a sudden. For some reason, James had vanished his clothes… Oh wait, James’ clothes were gone too. They were both naked! Blushing, he wondered what would happen next.

“Skin-on skin feels better,” James commented tiredly. He wrapped his arms around Severus, pulled him close, and draped his leg possessively across his lovers’ thigh. “You should sleep. I tired you out,” he said teasingly. “And I might do so again in the morning.” He was going to take advantage each time Severus grew aroused. Through the link he had learned how rare it was for the other wizard to grow erect. “I can’t wait to wrap my lips around you and bring you to orgasm in the morning.” His enthusiasm surprised him, but he liked the fact that he no longer felt inhibited around Severus. Theoretically they could consummate their relationship before their wedding. The Ministry would register it and the ceremony itself would just be an extra. James doubted he could wait that long to make love to Severus – which wasn’t likely, not after what had happened just now.

Severus didn’t know what to make of the fact that one of James’ hand cupped his ass. James’ other hand had found a nipple and was playing with it, teasing it. How was he supposed to sleep like that? 

James however merely grinned and closed his eyes. “Sleep tight, Sev…”

Severus sighed, wondering how to get through the night, especially when James moved him even closer and their groins rubbed against each other. What the hell was going on?

//

For the most part of the night Severus stayed awake due to the unusual situation he found himself in. James had had ample opportunity to take him, but the young man had gone to sleep. Being honest with himself, Severus had to admit it was rather unlikely that James would force himself on him. Every action so far spoke of respect and adoration. The odd thing was, those feelings were aimed at him!

In the past, while he had still been Lucius’ slave, he had often found himself in his master’s bed, but the situation had been much different. He had only been allowed in it to service his master. James on the other hand…

His mind boggled. How was he supposed to make sense of it? James claimed he loved him. The idiot had even set a date for their wedding. Wow, had he really called his master an idiot, even though it had just been in thought? 

When James had shared his feelings through the bond, Severus had known it was the real thing. Not even a master could fake those emotions. He knew that because Lucius had tried – and failed miserably. James’ love for him was genuine, he knew that, but the thing he didn’t understand was how James could love him - a slave. There was nothing lovable about him. He was ugly – his long nose hideous and his features too sharp. His body was bony and Lucius had often complained about his lack of flexibility when his former master had gotten more demanding in bed. 

“Why me?” Severus wondered. Why would James fall in love with him? James was good-looking, wealthy and a Pureblood. He could have anyone he wanted and yet, James seemed to love him. It was madness.

“You should sleep.”

Severus shivered at hearing Murky’s voice that unexpectedly. He even blushed, realizing the situation he was in. “You shouldn’t be here,” he whispered. “You will wake him up.”

Murky registered the fact that Severus didn’t refer to James as his master. Interesting. Of course he knew about the letter from the Ministry. He knew everything that happened in this household. “You shouldn’t worry that much. Instead, you should embrace what young master Potter is offering you.” Severus averted his gaze, an action which urged him on. “He doesn’t lie that one. He couldn’t even if his life depended on it. He might have a fair number of flaws, but being a liar isn’t one of them. When he says he loves you, he speaks the truth.” Bemused, he watched Severus’ blush deepen. “He desires you and you want him in turn. No, don’t deny it. You know you do. Your body reacted to his, didn’t it? That should tell you something.”

Severus moistened his lips, feeling insecure and uncertain. “I know he has feelings for me. What I can’t figure out is how they came about. A master loving his slave is… unheard of.”

“You need to stop thinking like that,” Murky replied. “James doesn’t think of you as his slave and he certainly doesn’t want to be your master. You know what he wants to be instead, don’t you? He wants to be your lover, your partner and eventually your husband.”

“I can’t believe it. It’s been like that my entire life. The mere notion of no longer thinking of him as my master is…”

 

“Frightening?” Murky supplied.

“Yes… I can’t allow myself to forget about it. The day will come that he will tire of me and then he’ll remember what I really am – his slave.”

“I can’t help you with this,” Murky realized. “But I promise you that if you look past this slave-bond, you will realize the truth about the two of you. One more word of advice… Your body is waking up. It’s due to the bond you share with him. James isn’t going to take advantage of it, but you should follow his lead. It will be to your benefit.” Reading Severus’ expression correctly, he chuckled. “You are a teenager, Severus. You suffered a lot in the past, but your body is that of a sixteen year old boy and it wants to explore. James can guide you. He won’t hurt you. Remember, he’s a virgin. The two of you can learn together, if you’ll let him.”

A moment later, the house elf vanished and Severus bit onto his bottom lip. Murky’s daring suggestion made his head spin. Could his hormones actually be kicking in? Could he truly desire James? Could he take that step? James had made him feel good when he had brought him to orgasm, but what if… Severus shook his head. Murky was talking nonsense. This would be one -time adventure. James would probably regret his action in the morning.

//

Severus woke to the oddest sensation ever. He wasn’t quite sure what was happening, so he opened his eyes in order to find out. He never expected to see James showering his chest with kisses. Ah, that was what had woken him. For some reason, James’ tongue was circling his nipple and then he sucked on it. “This is wrong,” he whispered. “I should be servicing you. You don’t have to do this!”

“Wrong,” James had expected a response similar to this from Severus. “I want this – I need to do this. You’re hard and I’m going to do something about it.” Finding Sever erect waking up had given him several naughty ideas. He might not have sex yet, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t participated in the boys’ locker room when they had gotten off on hand and blow jobs. He did have some experience in that field. “Lift that cute ass of yours, Sev.”

Severus could merely stare at James, wondering what he was up to, but complied, only to have a pillow shoved beneath his ass. “James…”

James however wasn’t interested in talking. His mind was set on something else. He licked his lips and cupped Severus’ balls in the palm of his hand. Leaning in closer, he closed his lips around the tip and sucked. He had obviously surprised his lover, as Severus bucked suddenly. James adapted and took him deeper, remembering all that locker room talk on relaxing one’s throat. Sliding up and down the length, he experimented with the intensity of sucking Severus’ cock. He doubted his lover would last long, feeling his balls tighten in his hand. Severus suddenly came, surprising the hell out of him and James quickly swallowed, trying not to miss a drop. Wow, that had been intense.

Severus trembled like a leaf. No one had ever gone down on him before, and his body, unused to being treated to such delights, had reacted rather passionately. He panted hard, trying to truly understand what had just happened. 

Feeling rather smug, James buried his nose in Severus’ groin. Not only did his lover taste good, he smelled great too. 

Severus gradually became aware of the fact that James hadn’t come yet. He was still hard, and Severus knew he should do something about it. He spread his legs, and then pulled his knees to his chest, exposing himself and making himself terribly vulnerable. His shivers increased and his heart raced. 

James frowned. He wasn’t going to do this when Severus’ fear screamed at him through their bond. His erection faltered and his desire vanished. “No, you don’t have to offer yourself to me.” He cursed Lucius for conditioning Severus the way he had. “Don’t,” he repeated and guided the trembling legs down, back onto the bed. “You don’t need to offer yourself to me when you’re terrified of being hurt.” He loosely wrapped Severus up in an embrace and pulled him close, cuddling up to him. “Those days are over.”

James had refused him! He had offered himself and James had refused him! Severus’ world had suddenly been upended. Staring at him, Severus tried to wrap his mind around that. “You…”

“When we do make love,” James said in a tender voice, “it will be because we both want it, and Sev, you will go on top. No way am I letting you go on the receiving end.”

In spite of being bewildered, Severus heard the sincerity in those words. James’ genuine concern also traveled down the bond, ensuring him of the young man’s intentions. The tears that stung his eyes demanded to be acknowledged and he felt ashamed shedding them, but James simply tightened the embrace and started to hum in a soothing way. That reaction wasn’t what Severus expected. Still thinking of Lucius and the way his former master would have reacted, he had expected the worst, and certainly not this show of affection on James’ part. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, once he was finally able to calm down. “I wrecked the mood.”

“No, you didn’t. I overwhelmed you, pushed you too far, and didn’t slow down when I should have. I made a mistake in judgment. I need to tone it down. 

“You’re not angry with me?”

“Of course not! I should have known it was too early for any of this, but I do love you and I want to touch you. I want to make you feel good.” James knew he had pushed Severus too far, but the way the dark-haired wizard had responded to his touch had him thrilled. There was definitely hope for them. James was convinced that, in time, Severus would be able to overcome his past.

//

Severus felt odd. He had showered, dressed, and then gone downstairs to have breakfast. James had told him to go already ahead, since he wanted to shower as well. So Severus had to face the older Potters on his own. He wasn’t sure he could go ahead. They would look at him and they’d know what he had done. A blush, deeply red, settled on his features. How was he going to survive this?

“Severus!” Evelyn who was on her way to have breakfast too, saw him linger and headed toward him. The blush, and the way he avoided her eyes, clued her in as to what might have happened. It was so like her son to simply forge ahead without thinking about the consequences! At least the blush led her to believe James had been successful in his advances.

“Mrs. Potter,” Severus muttered, feeling ill at ease. What if she knew what had happened and disapproved? 

“Everything’s fine, Severus. I don’t know what James did to spook you, but we’re fine.” Evelyn failed to capture his gaze though. Severus seemed determined not to look at her. “Are you hungry? Maybe some tea will settle your nerves. I’m sure you have nothing to be nervous about though.” She squeezed his shoulder, hoping to calm him down.

Severus allowed her to guide him into the breakfast room. Realizing that Mr. Potter was also present wasn’t helping. His nervousness increased.

“Sit down.” Evelyn studied him and arched an eyebrow. Above all, Severus seemed embarrassed. What had James done this time? “Tea?” Severus nodded timidly and she poured him some. “Eat,” she said and placed scrambled eggs, toast, bacon, sausages and some fruit onto his plate. “I expect you to eat most of that.”

Severus nodded again, wondering when they would start yelling at him. He couldn’t possibly eat. The mere thought of putting food into his mouth made him nauseous. 

“Severus, what’s wrong?”

“I can’t eat,” he managed; he still lacked the courage to make eye contact though. 

“Severus, what happened?” Ben turned his chair around so they were facing each other and he placed a finger beneath Severus’ chin. “It’s fine, son. Whatever you think you did wrong isn’t going to cause any problems. We won’t punish you. You are safe, but please tell me what’s wrong.”

Severus cringed. He couldn’t ignore such a direct order. He shifted on the chair, ill at ease and wondering how angry James’ father was going to be. 

Ben watched him squirm and looked to Evelyn for help, but his wife merely shrugged. She didn’t know either what this was about. “Severus, you are not in trouble. I’m here to help.”

Severus sighed. There was no escape. He had to tell them. “James, he…” How the hell was he going to phrase that? “He…”

“What did my son do?” Ben wished Severus would give him some kind of clue!

“He said he loved me and I… I offered myself to him, but he declined, instead he…” Severus wished the floor would open and swallow him. He’d rather have Lucius torture him that admit this to them. “He made me come.”

Ben arched an eyebrow. “And why is that a problem?” Aside from James rushing into this…

“Slaves don’t come! I shouldn’t have grown aroused. It’s… Lucius would have me whipped!” Suddenly Severus found that he couldn’t stop talking. “It’s normally not a problem! Lucius always hurt me and I couldn’t have gotten aroused, even if I had wanted to, but with James… He… made me come twice! I don’t understand it! He can take me whenever he wants and he… said no, said that he didn’t want to hurt me, and that when we did have sex, he would put himself on the receiving end! It’s madness! It’s unheard of! I don’t understand any of this! I don’t understand the rules! I don’t know what to do! How to react!” Severus collapsed against the back of the chair. “This isn’t supposed to happen!”

Ben’s heart went out to Severus. “Thank you for telling me. Now that I know what troubles you, I might be able to help.” Evelyn gave him ‘that’ look, telling him she wanted him to handle it. “Severus, you are not in trouble. Aside from James being his impatient and passionate self, nothing is wrong.” Severus looked at him then, and Ben wiped away the tears that dripped down the young man’s face. “James loves you and he’s rather… enthusiastic about it, I’m afraid. Instead of going slow, he raced right ahead.”

“But…” Severus frowned and tried to make sense of those words. “I came…”

“You are supposed to,” Ben assured him and brushed some stray black strands behind Severus’ ear. “When you are in love, you share your bodies. You grow aroused and find release. That’s perfectly normal.” Ben congratulated himself; he thought he was dealing with it rather well. Severus was calming down, so he hoped he was getting through to the youngster. “Your former life is over, Severus. This is new, I understand that, and you should tell James off if he moves too fast.”

“I can’t….”

Ben wished they could tell Severus about the letter, but James had to decide when the time was right for that. “You can, and James will expect you to do so in the future.”

“I do,” James said, who had been listening from the doorway. “I really do expect you to tell me no when you’re not in the mood. But I thought you wanted this too.” After all, Severus had been hard.

“I did,” Severus replied, his blush making a fierce return. “I enjoyed it, but I’m not supposed to.”

“And that’s the problem,” Ben whispered as he gestured for James to join them at the table. 

James had realized the same thing. “Sev, I want you to enjoy it, and yes, you’re supposed to enjoy it. You’re my lover,” this time, James grew flustered too, “and my future husband. I expect you to tell me no when you’re not in the mood, but I do hope there will be times when you want me to touch you. Making you feel like that makes me feel good in turn, but I won’t touch you against your will.”

“I’ll work on it,” Severus promised. James touching him like that and making him come had rocked his world and he wanted more, but he wasn’t sure if that was acceptable. He was a slave. No matter what James said, they weren’t lovers – they weren’t equals. 

“And I’ll slow down,” James vowed, “but I need you to tell me when I’m spooking you.”

Severus cast a timid look at James’ father. “I can’t believe I told you all that.” He had unburdened his soul and all Ben Potter had done was to listen to him and council him. “The truth is, I don’t know the rules to this game. Everything is different. Half the things I’ve done so far would have earned me a whipping with the Malfoys.”

“We don’t whip anyone,” Evelyn said and smiled at him. “And I doubt very much that there is anything you can do to anger us. You are a really nice and sweet person, and no,” she chided him when he wanted to remind her he wasn’t actually a person. “To us you are and always will be.”

Stunned, Severus reached for his tea, and since it had already cooled down, sipped from it. He was trying to comprehend and accept what they had told him, and all of a sudden, he realized how private the things were which he had told them. Looking at James, he cringed. “Sorry for telling them.”

“No need to be sorry,” James said reassuringly. “Actually I’m relieved to know you trust my dad to such an extent. I want you to talk to him when something troubles you.” He knew he had moved too fast, damn it! Maybe his dad could provide him with a potion that helped him deal with his raging hormones. He didn’t want to make the same mistake all over again!

//

James looked at Severus, whose face was deeply hidden within the hood of his new coat. Severus hadn’t wanted to go outside at first, but once James had assured him they wouldn’t go near the lake, he had given in. “That new coat looks good on you.” He looped his arm with Severus’ and pressed close in order to share body heat.

“I still think my former coat could have been fixed. It was new.” But instead, James’ parents had existed he accepted a new one.

“I don’t like that idea,” James admitted. “It was drenched in your blood.” He shivered, recalling the injures Severus had suffered. “This one comes with a hood, which will help keep you warm.”

Severus shrugged. “James, I…”

“Yes?”

Severus nibbled on his bottom lip. “You must understand. I was raised a certain way. Pleasure wasn’t meant for me. There was always so much pain and… you, you changed that. I don’t know what to do. I liked it when you touch me, but…”

James knew he had to tread carefully. “A hand job is okay?”

Severus cringed. “No one ever offered me one before. I find it hard to accept that you want me to…”

“Experience pleasure? Want you to come?” 

“Yes.” Severus sighed. “And when you…” He blushed again. Why couldn’t he stop doing that? “And when you took me into your mouth, it felt so wrong. I’m supposed to pleasure you…”

James smiled warmly. “No longer. I want to do that to you too. I love seeing you in the throes of passion!”

Severus chuckled. “That’s rather poetic for you.”

“I know, normally I don’t use big words.” But it had worked; Severus was still smiling. “And I mean it. I want you on top when we make love that first time. I want you to take me.”

“I can’t,” Severus whispered. “I can’t and won’t hurt you like that.”

“I talked to my dad,” James started, “And he gave me this stuff…” He didn’t feel comfortable labeling it as lubricant yet. “And a potion too. There won’t be any discomfort for me.”

Severus stopped walking and finally met James’ gaze. “James, you don’t have to do this.”

“I know that, but I want to do it, Sev. I want you to feel safe. This wedding will happen and we will consummate it, but in a way that puts little pressure on you.”

“And what when I can’t… When I won’t be… aroused?”

“Then we will wait another day and try again.” James wasn’t worried. “I know I can get you hot and bothered, remember?”

To his surprise, his groin reacted and he was getting hard again. Severus tried to look away, but James must have caught it, as he heard the other boy giggle.

“Not concerned at all about that.” James knew what had happened. “I love you, Sev. Put a little faith in us. We’ll manage.”

Severus was beginning to believe just that. Against all odds, he trusted James Potter and even more so, he was falling utterly in love with him.

//

Severus watched them closely, finally feeling relaxed and at peace. They’d had dinner and he had even managed a few bites without gagging, but Mr. Potter hadn’t been satisfied by it. Sitting on the sofa, Severus waited for the older wizard to return, who had announced he was going to get a nourishment and restorative potion for him. Severus would drink it, of course, but didn’t think the fuzz was necessary. He had eaten a sufficient amount at dinner. The fact that Lupin and Black were going to join them tomorrow might have upset his appetite just a little. However, he had known all along that the friends would reunite over the holidays. It merely surprised him that it was only happening now. He didn’t fear Lupin that much – but he did fear Black. Maybe if he made himself scarce and hid in the library, Black would leave him alone. 

“Drink this. It will help rebuild your strength.” Ben uncapped the vial and handed it to Severus, who obediently emptied it. 

Severus didn’t like the taste at all, but carefully hid that fact as he didn’t want to offend the Potions Master. He really believed he didn’t need it. 

James sat down next to Severus and claimed his hand at once, which gained him a curious look from the dark-haired youngster. Running his fingertips along the lines in the palm of his hand, he realized how much at peace he felt. And it was all due to Severus. His mother had uncovered her harp and was playing softly, a magical sound filling the drawing room. The Christmas tree, still alive with bright lights, added to the relaxed atmosphere and Severus slowly leaned against him, obviously nodding off. “What was in that potion?” he said, eyeing his dad, who looked far too smug to be innocent of some sort of trickery.

“I might have added a hint of a relaxation and sleeping draught. Nothing to put him under though – just to help him relax.” Ben sat down and smiled at his wife. After all these years of married life, he still loved her to death.

James savored the sensation of Severus cuddling up to him, doubtlessly encouraged by said potion, but he didn’t care. He simply wanted Severus as nearby as possible.

//

Severus sleepily blinked, as if waking up from a deep sleep. He still felt like he could go right back to sleep though. He had trouble keeping his eyes open and focusing, but he did realize someone was moving him about.

“Go back to sleep, Sev. You’re safe with me.” James had half carried, half levitated Severus to his room and was now getting him out of his clothes. Severus gave him a drowsy look and tried to speak, but his heavy eyes told him his lover wasn’t really registering what was happening, and that was okay. Severus was safe with him- he wasn’t going to use the situation to his advantage. Severus shivered when the cool air hit his skin and James covered him up, tucking the comforter around him. “I’ll be right with you.” 

Not expecting a comment, he ignored Severus’ dazed look, and quickly stripped himself. Why had he invited Remus and Sirius over when he could have had Severus all to himself? He no longer liked his original plan, but he could hardly withdraw his invitation now. Thankfully it was only for one night and then two of them would return home. 

Severus wasn’t sure what was happening. He felt relaxed and warm, and even safe, but also very naked. His former conditioning showed when he flinched the moment James cuddled up to him. 

“It’s fine. You’re safe with me. We’re just going to sleep, nothing else.” Oh, his body could think of numerous heavenly things it could do, but he had promised himself to slow down and he was most certainly not going to abuse Severus’ trust in him. “Close your eyes and go to sleep.”

Severus stood no chance fighting that order – not that he wanted to. He was so damn tired and so his eyes closed again. 

James folded his arms around him and pulled him closer. He tucked Severus’ head beneath his chin and rubbed the scarred back. “I love you,” he whispered. He still didn’t understand how it had happened, but he did know that Severus was his soul mate- the other half of his soul. 

//

Severus stared out of the window and watched the moon and stars illuminate the night’s sky. He had woken unexpectedly after a deep and restful sleep during which the nightmares had left him alone. But as a result, he was awfully awake now, while James was still asleep. It gave him a chance to study the other young man; a Pureblood wizard who proclaimed he loved him. No, proclaimed was the wrong word. He knew James loved him; the bond told him that. He wondered about that bond though, as it felt different. It didn’t feel as crippling and suffocating as it had in the past. Something was different about it, but what was it?

Severus tentatively raised his right hand and used his fingers to comb through James’ unruly hair. What did James see in him? How could someone like that – a virgin- feel attracted to him while Severus felt dirty – like damaged goods actually. His body carried the scars of being Lucius’ slave for sixteen long years. His mind was chaotic at best, probably even unstable and maybe even tinted with madness. What did James want with him?

He didn’t know the answers to that question and wondered if James did himself. His biggest fear was that James would lose interest in him and stop treating him like a person. That he would go back to being just a slave. But being a slave at the Potter household was still much better than being Lucius’ punching bag. James must have felt his fears through their link and instinctively pulled him closer, even rubbing the back of his neck. Severus closed his eyes, willing himself to lay still as to not wake the other wizard. He could pretend being asleep. He had been through much worse.

//

Although he woke up horny as hell, James kept his hands to himself, remembering Severus’ confession to his dad. He was going to do this right; he was going to slow down.

Since James’ erection poked against his side, Severus was very much aware of the other wizard’s situation. Meeting James’ eyes, although reluctantly, he said, “I don’t know what to do. With Lucius- “

“Don’t talk about him. Not now when I want to enjoy this moment.” James understood Severus’ predicament much better since he had heard him talking to his dad. “We’re going to kiss and hold each other and that’s where it stops.” He couldn’t help but wonder if Severus was aroused too, but he wasn’t going to check it!

Severus did feel the first stirrings of desire and couldn’t help blushing. “If that’s what you want, but-“

James interrupted him again. “You’re not going to offer yourself to me, do you understand?” Severus’ blush deepened and James knew he had hit bull’s eye. “You’re not.”

“If you say so. I’ll take my lead from you as I don’t want to do anything wrong.”

James nodded. “That’s fine with me. Sev, do you want to kiss me?” He phrased it like that on purpose, wanting Severus to be in control of this encounter.

“I…” Severus frowned, taking James’ question rather serious. Surprised, he found that he did want to kiss him. “I do,” he admitted gingerly. 

“Then what’s keeping you back?” James shifted slightly and pulled Severus on top of his body. 

Severus wondered about James’ move. Why had he pulled him on top?

Seeing Severus’ puzzled look, James gave him an encouraging smile. “What’s bugging you?”

“Our… position,” Severus managed in the end. “Why am I on top?”

James chuckled. “Because I like it that way.” He wasn’t going to bring up the past abuse – not when he wanted Severus to enjoy this. “I like a lot about you, but talking when we could be kissing isn’t one of them.” He touched his lips to Severus’ again and kissed him.

Severus answered the kiss and felt relieved when James’ probing didn’t go any deeper. He was okay with any chaste kissing, but needed time to get used to the rest. They had been moving so fast that he had hardly realized what had happened during these last few days.

Slowing down was the right thing to do, James realized when Severus relaxed and melted against him. They had the rest of their lives to explore and James felt they could slow down, now that he was confident consummating their marriage would happen in time. “I could get used to this,” he whispered and ran his fingers through Severus’ long hair. “Waking up like this.”

Severus blushed. “Just tell me if you want me,” he said. He wouldn’t deny James, if he wanted to claim him. Not just because of the slave-bond, but because he really did care about James.

“Not yet. February first is when we will make love and you’ll find yourself on top again by that time.” James played with a strand of Severus’ hair. “How angry are you about me inviting Remus and Sirius?” His erection was giving him hell and changing their subject might help.

“I’m not angry with you,” Severus said, genuinely surprised. “You have every right to invite your friends over. I have no say in that.”

“But you do,” James pointed out to him. “In the future I will ask you how you feel about things. This time I acted impulsively, I’m afraid. It’s a Gryffindor thing,” he added with an apologetic smile.

Severus shook his head. “You can do whatever you want, James.” Severus did realize his tendency to address his master with his given name, something he had found impossible in the past. He was beginning to forget his place – a dangerous development for a slave.

“But I value your opinion.” His erection had faded, as James had hoped it would. He continued to caress Severus’ hair and smiled reassuringly at him. “Your opinion matters a lot to me.”

Severus closed his eyes since he couldn’t turn away his head. “It shouldn’t matter to you.”

“But it does.” James decided the time had come to move on. “I’m hungry. Let’s do breakfast, shall we?”

Severus nodded. “How late will they arrive? Do you require my presence? If not, I will make myself scarce.” He opened his eyes and gave James a pleading look. 

“I’m sorry, but I expect you to be at my side. Remus really wants to see you again and Sirius might surprise you.”

Severus doubted that very much. “I’ll be there,” he assured James. Although he could think of a lot of places where he’d rather be than in the targeting range of Sirius Black.

//

Severus stared at his reflection and felt he looked ridiculous. James had asked him to dress warmly, since they would pick up Remus near the manor’s gates. Sirius would arrive later that evening. 

James grinned and wrapped Severus up in an embrace from behind. Pulling Severus’ back against his chest, he rested his chin on the young man’s shoulder. “What has got you frowning?”

“This is overdone!” Severus shook his head. “We’re going outside! Not to the arctic!”

“Indulge me,” James said and pressed a kiss against the nape of Severus’ neck. “The last time we went outside you nearly froze to death.”

“Only because you foolishly decided to test the ice!” Severus wondered what was wrong with him. In the past he would never have dared to address his master in such a way!

“Well, I’m a Gryffindor, and technically speaking…” Oh, he had just realized that Severus had to be sorted all over again. Now that the slave-bond had dissolved he wasn’t a Gryffindor anymore as he was no longer anyone’s property. He studied Severus’ reflection and nodded once. Ravenclaw… Severus would probably be sorted into that house. 

Severus wondered about the odd look James was giving him, but didn’t bring it up. He just wanted the day over with and Lupin and Black gone.

//

Severus felt ill at ease now that James continued to hold his hand. James’ parents stood behind them and had no notice the touch. Lupin would comment on it as well once he arrived and Black… Severus swallowed nervously. He didn’t want to be around when Black realized what had happened.

“James!” Remus walked toward the gates and waited for the Potters to admit him. Once the gate opened, he stepped inside. He offered a polite bow to Benjamin and Evelyn and then walked toward James. He blinked at seeing James hold Severus’ hand in his. He could tell that Severus didn’t want to be here – didn’t want James to express any feelings that openly, but James was a Gryffindor through and through and wouldn’t be denied. Severus would have to get used to that!

“Remus!” James briefly let go of Severus’ hand and embraced his friend. “It’s good to have you with us! Thanks for joining us for New Year.” He knew that, although Remus’ parents loved him, they had difficulty expressing it. The fact that their only son was also a werewolf had changed a lot. 

“I’m happy to be here!” Remus hugged James close. “Thanks for inviting me.” It was good to be away from home, where the atmosphere could be stifling. “Severus,” he said, greeting the other boy as well. “You look better… Not that skinny and pale anymore. It suits you.” Severus must have added a little weight – not that much, but enough to make a difference. 

Severus severely hoped Remus didn’t plan on hugging him too and felt relieved when the young man offered him his hand instead. He shook it – cautiously though. Although Remus had never bullied him in the past, he didn’t trust easy. Suddenly James reached for him and surprised him by wrapping an arm around his waist. What was James doing? Everyone was watching!

“Don’t worry so much,” James offered. “Everyone here knows we’re in love and they approve.”

“That was quite the surprise though,” Remus confessed as he fell into pace next to them as they made their way to the house. “I quite recall your confession that you didn’t like boys in that way.”

“I might have spoken too soon,” James said and shrugged. “It was a gradual thing.”

Severus wished the earth would open and swallow him. Did they have to discuss this in front of James’ parents?

Remus fought himself a way through the snow. “It’s worse here than at home,” he explained, realizing he was wearing the wrong footwear. “You could have warned me!”

“You’ll manage,” James said and chuckled. 

Remus studied them and liked what he saw. “The two of you look good together.”

Severus’ blush deepened and he pulled up the hood of his coat in order to shield his face from curious looks.

James noticed, but didn’t comment on the move. “Let’s hope Sirius sees it that way too.”

Remus nodded. “You were right not to tell him yet. He needs to see the two of you together before you confide in him. He’s not a bad guy, but raised a certain way. Most Pureblood families condemn gay relationships as it is bad for breeding and the Blacks are rather set in their ways.”

“I don’t care,” James sneered. “If Sirius can’t accept this, it’s too bad, but I won’t give up Severus because of his prejudice.” Severus’ hood tumbled down because of the speed with which he looked at him. “It’s the truth,” he added, “We’re in this together. If Sirius makes me choose between our friendship and my love for you, he’ll lose.”

Severus stared at James in disbelief. How could James love him to such an extent that he would endanger losing his best friend over this? “James…”

But James shook his head. “You are my first priority, Sev. Just you.”

Remus smiled at hearing the dedication in James’ voice, and while looking at Ben and Evelyn, he found them grinning too. James had all the backup he needed, should Sirius throw one of his famous tantrums.

//

Severus shivered when they passed the frozen lake which had almost become James’ last resting place. He vividly recalled James disappearing beneath the dark surface and the tremors intensified.

James noticed it and realized the mittens Severus wore kept him from touching bare skin. He resolutely slid his hand into Severus’ mitten and twined their fingers, a move, which gained him Severus’ attention. 

Remus noticed Severus’ distress as well. “What’s up?”

James looked at his friend, realizing Remus didn’t know about his near death. “I fell through the ice the other day. I would have drowned if Severus hadn’t gotten me out in time. He got injured in the process.”

Remus arched an eyebrow – feeling impressed. Severus would have been free had his master died. So Severus’ love for James was true. “You’re always much too reckless,” he chided his friend, which earned him an approving nod from Severus.

“I told him so myself, but he doesn’t listen. Typical Gryffindor. Act first, think later.”

“And what did you do, Sev? Did you think over your options before rescuing me? No, you rushed over to get me out. A true Gryffindor action on your part, if you ask me.”

“I’m not asking you,” Severus muttered, and to his distress, his blush returned. Why couldn’t he stop getting flustered?

“I was wondering, did you ever get sorted? Or did you get put into Slytherin because of Malfoy?” James berated himself for mentioning the snake, feeling Severus flinch against him. 

“I never was sorted. It wasn’t necessary.” Severus wondered why James was bringing that up. “Why are you asking?”

“No special reason,” James whispered, making a mental note to remind himself of that later. He exchanged a look with Remus, and his friend’s expression told him their thoughts had travelled along similar lines. Remus was probably also wondering what house the Sorting Hat would put Severus in these days.

//

Severus remained subdued. Like the rest, he was sipping tea in the drawing room, but he made no effort to be included in the on-going conversation. He was content to listen and pretend he was invisible. That way, he couldn’t make any mistakes.

Remus noticed and wondered if it was because of him or if Severus was always so distanced. Moving closer to James, he whispered, “Is it me or…?”

James cringed. “No, I think it’s because of Sirius’ impending visit. Sev isn’t afraid of you, but Sirius is a different matter.” He smiled at his dad, who sat down next to Severus and started discussing potion ingredients with him. 

“I don’t think Sirius will cause trouble. He owled me a couple of times. He isn’t happy at home. Watching Severus’ memory in that pensieve got him thinking. I don’t think he’s happy about the way his family is treating their house elves, as well as slaves.”

James’ eyes widened. “They own slaves?”

“Most Pureblood families do,” Remus supplied. “Your family is an exception.”

“Sirius is welcome to stay here, if he doesn’t want to go back for the rest of the holidays, providing he doesn’t bully Severus. I’ll tell him when he gets here.”

“You might want to run that by Severus first,” Remus cautioned.

“I should, shouldn’t I?” James realized. “I will,” he promised.

//

“Sev?” James pulled Severus into the corridor after they’d finished their tea. “I want to ask you something.”

Severus’ eyes narrowed. “What kind of trouble did you get me into?”

James laughed and shook his head. “None yet, but I want to know your thoughts about something.”

“What?” Severus remained alert.

“Remus tells me Sirius is having trouble at home. Finding out about your history with the Malfoys has gotten Sirius thinking about the way he is being raised. I don’t know if you are familiar with the rest of the Black family, but…” Severus averted his gaze, something which worried James. “Sev?”

“The Malfoys and Blacks are Purebloods. They share the same… taste regarding… slaves,” he whispered uncomfortably. 

James blinked. “Are you telling me…?”

“I am a slave, James. Lucius often used me to get what he wanted. The Blacks…” Severus shivered and fought back unpleasant memories. “They share Malfoy’s eagerness for torture, among other things.”

James drew in a deep breath. “I didn’t know that.” He could no longer ask Severus to be lenient with Sirius. “But Sirius, he never….?” He prayed Sirius hadn’t been involved in his family’s torture sessions.

“Not to my knowledge, but Bellatrix…” Severus was unable to finish his sentence. Bellatrix was even worse than Lucius. “What did you want to ask me?”

“I can’t… It wouldn’t be right.”

“James, what did you want to ask me?” Severus surprised himself by being this tenacious. He shouldn’t pressure or question his master, but for some reason he didn’t feel compelled to stop.

“All right then. I wanted to ask you if it was okay if Sirius stayed with us for the reminder of the holidays, if he wants to, that is. He might not want to stay, but last year, he showed up suddenly, looking like death warmed over and I couldn’t send him home.”

“This is your home, James. If you want him to stay, then ask him.” Severus didn’t want to do this, but knew he couldn’t defy his master. “I’ll manage.” He’d survive; he always did.

“Let’s see what happens,” James said, regretting ever bringing up Sirius.

“Fine,” Severus said with a curt nod. “But James, remember, you are Master here. I am just your slave.”

No, you aren’t, James thought, but he was careful not to say so – yet.

//

Ben handed Evelyn the letter from the Ministry that had just arrived. “The Ministry confirms the life-debt we own Severus.”

“But that isn’t all.” Evelyn read the letter a second time as she wanted to grasp the full content. “Are we going to tell them?”

“We should,” Ben commented, but thoughtfully. “I am not sure telling them is the right thing to do.”

Evelyn nodded, understanding her husband’s reasoning. “We could answer in James’ stead as he’s not yet of legal age.”

“And what would you tell them?” Ben studied his wife carefully.

“That we accept their offer. That we will trade the life-debt for Severus’ freedom.” Evelyn walked over to the window and watched the snow float to the already white surface. “What if they fail to consummate the marriage? James is willing, but Severus might be too badly damaged. This will take the edge off.”

“But you still want them to try?”

“I believe they’ll be good for each other. We have been married for thirty-six years now and still happy. I’m convinced the two of them will work out too.”

Ben took hold of the letter again and nodded. “I will inform the Ministry of our decision. Once Severus is free, they can take all the time they need to consummate their relationship, but we will only tell them so if need arises.”

Evelyn agreed. She was confident everything would work out just fine.

//

Severus doubted his decision to allow James to claim his hand. Sirius was about to arrive via floo and this was the last place Severus wanted to be. He had expected little trouble from Remus, but Black was a different matter!

“I’ll make sure he behaves,” James whispered into Severus’ ear. “You’re safe with me, I promise.” He understood Severus’ worries, but was determined to make sure they didn’t come true.

Remus also gave Severus a reassuring smile, but it didn’t do anything to calm Severus’ nerves. For Sirius’ sake he prayed that his friend would behave himself, for James looked determined to defend his boyfriend. Remus chuckled at thinking that. Who would have thought they would end up engaged?

Suddenly the fire flared, the floo was activated, and Sirius stepped out of the fireplace. Severus flinched and instinctively moved behind James, trying to make himself invisible. 

James noticed and reluctantly allowed it. He had preferred Severus facing Sirius head on, but wouldn’t force his lover. “Pads!” Since Severus was holding his hand, he found it hard to move forward to hug his friend.

Severus noticed and released said hand, regretting to cut the ties that bound them. But Sirius was important to James and he wasn’t going to sabotage their meeting. Watching them hug, and Remus joining in, stressed just how little he was a part of their group. James might like him, but their friendship was something different. How could he possibly compete with that?

“It’s good to see you,” Sirius said as he drew in a deep breath. He had missed his friends! Life at Black Manor was hard. His family pressured him a lot and he was happy to be rid of them for now. After hugging James and Remus, Sirius noticed Severus hovering in the back, looking eager to flee the room. Sirius immediately noticed the differences that had come over Severus. Although still bony, Severus had gained some weight. The pallor was gone and his skin had attained a healthier color. The eyes, although still haunted and way too dark, seemed more vulnerable. He drew in another breath, reminding himself there was something he wanted to do during his visit. 

James noticed the odd look Sirius gave Severus and instantly felt alert. “Pads?”

Sirius realized this time was as good as any. And by getting this off his chest now, they would probably enjoy their evening a lot more. “Severus?”

Severus’ eyes widened at hearing Black actually speak his name. Sirius had never called him that before. Usually he stuck to Snivellus. “Yes?” he said cautiously. What was Black up to? His fingers curled around his wand, giving him a sense of safety and reminded himself he could defend himself in need be.

“I want to apologize to you,” Sirius said, finally speaking the words he had rehearsed for the last few days. He doubted Severus believed him, but he had to try. 

“Apologize?” Severus blinked, which showed his disbelief. “To me?” What kind of mind game was Black playing? His nerves, already frayed, now fluttered madly. 

“During these last few days, I…” Sirius wavered. “I’ll probably screw this up, but… You know my family keeps slaves?”

Severus shuddered, but nodded. “I do.”

Sirius wasn’t surprised, not after everything his dear sisters had told him. “I never gave the matter much thought, but lately I realized that what we’re doing is wrong. The way my family treats those slaves is…” Sirius cringed. “I tried to stop them, but… Bellatrix…”

Severus wondered what the hell Black was trying to tell him. He knew Bellatrix was downright evil and a sadist, but what was Sirius trying to tell him? He shrugged helplessly.

“Bellatrix loves to torture them and I…” Sirius averted his eyes, feeling rather ashamed. “After seeing James’ memory in the pensieve and after realizing what you went through… I tried to stop her from cursing one of our slaves…” Bellatrix had been tormenting a young girl, only thirteen, and had delighted in making her scream.

“What happened?” Remus said and carefully rested a hand on Sirius’ shoulder. Through the contact, he felt Sirius flinch.

“She cursed me instead,” Sirius whispered, almost whimpering in remembered pain.

“Crucio,” Severus said knowingly. “It’s her favorite.”

Sirius gave him a quick look. So Bellatrix had had her hands on Severus too? “Yes.”

Severus considered everything very carefully. He still didn’t trust Sirius, but in the past, Black had helped him now and then. Maybe Sirius really had had a change of heart. He could extend his hand in friendship, knowing it would make James happy, and still watch his back for the blade Black might want to stab him with. 

“Pads, stay with us for the reminder of the hols! You don’t need to go back!” James really wanted to help his friend. 

Sirius shrugged. “My family won’t mind me staying here, but…” His eyes darted to Severus. “I don’t want to intrude.”

Severus knew then that this time of peace had come to an end. With Sirius staying at Potter Manor everything would change – and not for the better. 

“Sev?” James gave his lover a questioning look.

Sirius noticed the way James addressed Severus, and even more, the way his friend looked at him. It told him a lot. It also explained a lot. 

“I don’t hold any authority here,” Severus said slowly. “This is your house, James. You make the decisions, I don’t.”

James cringed and wished he had told Severus about the letter from the Ministry. It was too late for that though. He had to continue on the path he had chosen. “But are you comfortable with Pads being here? We can put him in a different part of the house, so you wouldn’t run into him often.”

Sirius bowed his head in defeat. Not because James had clearly fallen for Severus, but because his own behavior had made the slave scared of him. Had he behaved better, this wouldn’t have been an issue. 

Severus read the hope in James’ eyes and knew he would never deny him. “I’ll manage,” he said, much braver than he actually felt. 

“I’ll keep out of the way,” Sirius promised. He was much too relieved, knowing he could stay and didn’t have to go back to his insane family. These last few days had been hell. Ever since realizing he had changed and no longer fit in. 

“You don’t have to,” Severus replied. “As James’ guest you have everything right to do as you place.” It was he himself who had no rights. It was so damn easy to forget he was just a slave, especially since everyone treated him as a person. Hell, most of the time he felt like a person and not a slave. Dangerous – such a development was much too dangerous. Maybe he needed someone to put him back in his place, so he remembered his real position in this household. He didn’t doubt Sirius would do his best to remind him – and frequently at that.

//

Ben suspected he knew why Severus was even more subdued than normal when the four of them entered the drawing room. His head bowed, and long, dark hear shielding his features, Severus oozed discomfort. A look told him James was aware of it and he trusted his son to handle it. “Sirius, my boy, it’s good to have you back with us!” He easily read the spooked expression in Sirius’ eyes. Maybe one day Severus and Sirius would come to realize that they had both been traumatized. Severus by his former master and Sirius by his family. Ben shuddered just thinking of the rest of the Black family.

“Thank you. I’m happy to be back!” Sirius was finally beginning to relax. He felt safe here. The Potters were nice, he knew that from previous visits, and he didn’t have to worry about his sister hexing him just because she was in the mood for it. 

“You’ll stay for the next few days, won’t you?” Evelyn hoped Sirius accepted the invitation. The boy looked haggard and exhausted. Living at Black Manor would give her nightmares too.

“I will, if I may.” Sirius’ mood continued to brighten. “But I didn’t bring anything.”

“We have supplies. Raul will deliver them to the guestroom,” Evelyn assured him.

Suddenly Sirius felt guilty and looked at Severus, who didn’t notice it as the other boy was staring at the floor. “I’m not driving you out of the room, am I? I’m fine with the couch too.” Everything was better than having to live at home!

“Severus has his own room.” Ben watched Sirius’ reaction and felt relieved at finding it was a calm one. Sirius didn’t seem too surprised – good. He wasn’t in the mood for any fighting and Severus could most certainly do without Sirius’ well known temper tantrums.

“Good, that’s good,” Sirius muttered and was surprised to see Severus lift his head to look at him. “I mean it. You’re entitled to your privacy.” He had learned a few things since admitting the truth about his family. 

Severus wasn’t sure what to make of Sirius’ replies and decided to simply ignore him. Sooner or later, Black would show his true colors.

//

James realized they had a problem when Severus failed to eat at dinner. His lover sat tight as a bow and was actually sitting on his hands so he couldn’t reach for the food. A look from his dad told him Ben had noticed too. “Severus?” He reached for his lover and rested a hand on his shoulder. “A word?”

Severus had hoped James wouldn’t notice, but that had been wishful thinking of course. He nodded timidly and followed James out of the room. 

Sirius noticed the retreat as well and looked at Ben. “What’s wrong with him?”

“With Severus?” Ben sighed. “A lot, but I doubt he wants you to know. There seems to be some… tension between the two of you.”

“My fault,” Sirius admitted. “I bullied him when I shouldn’t have. I know that apologizing won’t make him believe me when I say I regret my actions. Words are just that. I need to prove them to him.”

Ben nodded. “You’ll find a way. Severus desperately needs friends. As long as you’re sincere in befriending him, you’ll find a way in.”

Remus agreed. Sirius wasn’t a bad person – his family had always been a bad influence though, but Remus reckoned Sirius wouldn’t allow them mess with him any longer. 

//

James sat down on the windowsill and pulled Severus into his arms. Severus seemed reluctant, but complied and sat down next to him. “Murky, can you bring us some food?” Knowing the house elf had heard him, James focused on his lover again. “I can tell Sirius to go home,” he offered.

“I can’t let you do that,” Severus admitted, feeling ill at ease. “I know what the Blacks are like. If he no longer shares their views then they’ll turn on him. They already did.”

“I’m so damn proud of you.” James pulled Severus against him and hugged him. “So damn proud.” He wasn’t surprise to see the immense blush on Severus’ face when he looked at him again. “I’m convinced that Sirius will behave. But should he harass you, I’ll tell him off.” The food appeared and James balanced the tray on his lap. “Can you eat something?”

Severus wasn’t sure. Sirius’ arrival, and even more so his odd behavior, made his stomach ache. “I’ll try.” He picked up a fork and ate some beef. James followed his example and joined him. Soon they were munching on their dinner, and Severus was glad his nausea wasn’t making a return. 

James checked the time. They still had three hours left until midnight. “I’m going to kiss you when they clock strikes twelve,” he announced, hoping to distract Severus from his dark thoughts.

“You won’t!” Severus glared at him. “Not in front of them!” He didn’t mind James kissing him in private, but not when everyone saw them!

“Too bad. I’ll swipe you off your feet and kiss you breathless and no one will mind. My parents gave us their blessing, you know that. And Remus knows about us too. If Sirius causes trouble then…” James leaned in closer. “You got some gravy there…”

Severus forgot to breathe when James kissed him. He hadn’t spilled any gravy, he knew that, but James’ tongue was still licking at his lips. “James, you can’t…” But he didn’t get a chance to finish as James deepened the kiss. 

At least he had found one way to shut Severus up, James thought, rather amused. 

//

 

Severus’ nerves remained fluttery all evening. He dreaded the way the clock’s digits moved toward midnight, as James’ announcement still rang in his ears. Was he really going to kiss him in front of everybody? A part of him didn’t think James would do so, not with Black present, but then again, James was a Gryffindor and prone to act on instinct. 

James reached for Severus’ hand and twined their fingers. Finding them cold, he slid their joined hands into the pocket of his coat. They had moved outside, in anticipation of the arrival of the new Year. The house elves would go mad with fireworks at the strike of twelve; they always did. “Don’t worry that much,” James whispered as he moved closer. “Nothing bad is going to happen to you.”

“Sirius won’t react nicely to seeing you kiss me.” Severus cast Black a cautious look. It would have been different if James had kissed him out of lust, like a master might use his slave, but James loved him. That was a big difference!

Sirius hadn’t wanted to eavesdrop, but he had heard them nonetheless. Moving closer to Remus, he decided it was time to dig for more information. “Care to tell me what’s going on with James and Severus?”

Remus wasn’t sure he should confide in Sirius, but his friend hadn’t called Severus Snivellus once. That had to account for something. He hoped his friend’s change of heart was for real. “They’re in love, but surely you already noticed.”

Sirius managed not to cringe at hearing his suspicions confirmed. “What happened to James not liking boys that way?”

“Things change, Pads.” Remus studied his friend. “Are you going to cause trouble over this?”

“No,” Sirius whispered. “I won’t. I have no right to judge them.” He paused and gathered his thoughts. “James is a good friend and he’s supporting me even now.”

“And Severus?”

“Severus too,” Sirius admitted. “James would have told me to go back home if Severus had said so. But he’s letting me stay, which can’t be easy on him given our history. So I’ll keep my head down. I really don’t want to go back to the manor.” Remus padded his shoulder and Sirius felt relieved. He knew he had a lot to make up for and it seemed Remus was going to give him the chance to prove himself.

//

Ten... nine…”

Severus wondered if he could master apparating in seconds, since James really seemed sincere in his intention to kiss him. James was close - too close maybe and still snuggling up to him.

“Eight… seven…six…”

James pressed closer against Severus. His lover’s tension seeped through the bond, but James wasn’t going to give in. Severus needed to realize that their love was nothing to be ashamed of. 

“Five… four…three…”

Ben and Evelyn exchanged a loving and knowing smile. They had long realized James planned on kissing Severus at midnight. And why not? They planned on kissing each other too.

“Two…”

Severus’ heart thundered in his chest, seeing James lean in closer, aiming for his lips when everyone was watching! But a quick look told Severus that wasn’t the case. 

“One…”

The Potters were kissing already and seemed lost in their devotion to each other. Remus and Sirius yelled excitedly at the fireworks that now exploded above their heads and James…

James finally pressed his lips against Severus, claiming and stealing a kiss from his lover. He slipped his arms around him and pulled him even closer. Severus’ tension grew momentarily, but then he relaxed in his arms and answered his kiss. Nice – he had hoped Severus would react that way.

Why was is that one kiss made him want to give in? Why did it make him go weak in the knees? What kind of power did James hold over him? Why did one kiss make him want more? What had happened to shying away in fear? Why did he crave these kisses nowadays?

James sighed appreciatively. “You taste so good,” he whispered against his lover’s lips. “I could do this all night long.”

Severus blinked in surprise. James had kissed him and no disaster had struck. The Potters hadn’t told him off, Sirius hadn’t yelled at him and Remus was actually grinning at him. He had really expected something bad to happen.

James chuckled bemused. “We’re still here. No one hexed you. Not even Pads.”

Severus blushed and lowered his gaze. He selected his words carefully. “It will take me time to understand that things are changing.” He was about to continue, when a sharp pain swept through his hands. He cried out, buried his hands against his chest in an effort to protect them from whatever hex was causing this, and when the pain intensified, he dropped to his knees. 

James immediately sought out Sirius’ gaze, but the other boy looked baffled and immediately raised his arms, showing his palms in order to stress his innocence.

“I’m not doing anything! I promise!” He was telling the truth. He hadn’t even considered hexing Severus. Why should he? Severus had enabled him to stay. 

“Then what’s going on, damn it!” James knelt next to Severus and tried to uncover his lover’s hands as he wanted to find out what was happening. Severus swayed, obviously in pain. His lover was trying not to scream out again, and swallowed the agony he was in. “You can let go,” he whispered and enfolded him in a hug. “Mum, dad, I need help!” James was at a total loss to what was going on. 

Ben reached Severus first, and managed to pry Severus’ hands away, so he could study them. The first thing he noticed was the blood dripping from the palms. Old scars had opened and Severus’ blood dripped onto the snow, creating a ghostly image. Evelyn sat on her heels next to him, surprisingly calm. 

“It’s going to be fine,” she said. Apparently she was the only one realizing what was happening. “It’ll stop any moment now.” 

And it did. The wounds closed, but this time, without creating new scars. Instead, the flesh looked new and whole. Severus stared at his hands in disbelief. The pain had left, but he still felt shaky. 

“Is he going to be all right?” Sirius, who had cautiously moved closer, tried to sneak a look at Severus.

“Yes, he just needs a moment.” Evelyn looked at her son. “And we need to talk – now. Ben, will you stay with Severus?”

“Of course!” Ben examined Severus’ hands again and used a spell to remove the blood. “You’re fine… Your hands are fine.” He knew how important fully functioning hands were to a Potioneer. 

“What happened?” Severus hated how fragile he sounded. The pain was gone and it was mostly shock that still unnerved him. 

“James will explain it to you when he returns.” Ben had finally figured it out himself. The Ministry must have taken Severus’ slave status away and by doing so, old wounds of servitude had been removed, causing the discomfort. That implied Severus was truly free of the slave-bond. It also meant James and Severus could take all the time they needed to consummate their marriage. 

Severus nodded. James would help him understand. He was still lost in thought when he suddenly registered Sirius sitting on his heels next to him. Remus stood behind him and looked on, equally worried as James. The strange thing was, Black seemed worried too, but that was just wrong. Sirius Black would never worry about his well-being, so what was really going on?

Sirius correctly read Severus’ expression and knew he deserved the distrust. “I worry too,” he said, softly, trying to sound as sincere as he felt. “Are you still in pain?”

Severus shook his head. He wasn’t, but he wouldn’t have told Black if he had still been in pain. He wouldn’t make himself vulnerable when he didn’t have to. 

“You seem cold,” Ben observed. Severus’ hands shook and it was either due to the lingering shock or the cold. “Maybe we should return home.”

“Home…” The word escaped Severus unintentionally. “Do you really mean that?”

Ben smiled reassuringly. “I do. You’ve got your own room and even your own Christmas tree. You got presents, didn’t you? If Dumbledore agrees, Evelyn and I will home school you. That’s home, isn’t it?”

Severus nodded, but still felt confused. Was Potter Manor really his home now? James’ return stopped his thoughts from going into circles again and he looked up at his lover in fearful anticipation. Mrs. Potter had sounded serious when she had told James to join her. James didn’t look panicked though and was actually smiling at him. That smile confused him more than anything.

James wrapped an arm around Severus and gently pulled him to his feet. “We need to talk.”

Severus noticed the remarkably caring tone and sighed in relief. Apparently he wasn’t in trouble. James thought of what had happened as a good thing, but why? James wasn’t a sadist, he knew that, so why did he enjoy seeing him in pain?

“Excuse us,” James told Sirius and Remus. “We’ll see you back at the house.” They were going to walk as he had a lot to tell Severus.

Sirius and Remus both looked dazed. “What happened?” Remus asked, as he was unable to remain quiet any longer.

Evelyn smoothed out the fabric of her dress and cloak. “The Ministry released Severus from the slave-bond. He’s a free person now.”

Sirius’ eyes widened. “They can do that?”

“Severus saved James’ life the other day and we traded that life-debt for his freedom,” Ben added, watching Sirius very closely. 

Sirius needed a moment to work through that. “He’s no longer a slave?”

“He’s free, yes.” Evelyn cocked her head. “I hope you like that idea.” If not, she would talk some sense into that thick skull of his.

“No,” Sirius quickly added. “I think that’s great. It really is.” And he meant it. After realizing how badly his family treated their slaves he had started to research the slave-bond, but hadn’t found a way out of the complex spell. “I’m happy for Severus – for both of them.” Remus promptly hugged him, causing Sirius to burst out laughing. “I’m not dating you!” he exclaimed in jest.

“I wouldn’t want to,” Remus said, chuckling along. “I like girls instead!”

Sirius returned the hug. “Thanks for being such a good friend.”

Remus nodded against Sirius’ shoulder. “Friendship goes both ways, Pads.”

Sirius knew that and he vowed to never shame Remus’ trust in him.

//

“Let’s sit down.” James swiped the snow of the bench and cast a quick heating spell. 

Severus felt terribly apprehensive. James was definitely acting odd and he didn’t know what to make of the other boy’s behavior. On edge, he sat down and waited for James to continue.

James drew in a deep breath. How was he going to tell Severus? What bits to tell and which should he postpone until later? He seated himself next to Severus and looked out over the lake. “You saved my life the other day.” Maybe that was the best way to bring it up.

Not expecting that certain topic, Severus felt off guard. “Your father would have saved you.”

“But he didn’t. You did.” James looked into Severus’ dark eyes. Yes, this might work. “I owe you a life debt because of it.” He noticed the way those eyes widened. 

“No, you don’t. I’m a slave. A non-person. Life debts don’t apply.”

James decided he wasn’t going into details and thus digging his own grave. “Nonetheless the Ministry decided the Potters owe you a life debt. A letter arrived the other day stating that.”

Severus frowned. “That’s impossible! Slaves…” But the look James gave him told him the other boy was serious. “It simply can’t be,” he objected weakly.

“I can show you the letter later. It’s in my room.” Severus relished the fact that he was this close to Severus and caressed those long fingers, which still occupied his pocket. Stroking them, he wondered if the bond was gone too. He would miss being able to reach Severus that way. 

Severus’s frown remained. “That’s nonsense. Even if they acknowledged such a debt, it makes no sense.”

James moistened his lips, carefully considering his next words before speaking them. “My parents decided to use that life-debt to secure your freedom. They demanded the Ministry removed the slave-bond and set you free.” Severus began to shake all over his body and James quickly wrapped an arm around him. “Hush now, everything’s fine.”

“They shouldn’t have done that. The Ministry won’t do such a thing. I’m not even sure they can remove a slave-bond.” Severus didn’t dare to even think of the possibility of him gaining freedom. The idea was too daunting. It would overwhelm him if he dared to imagine such a thing!

James ran his thumb along Severus’ palm and removed their hands from the warm hiding place. “When I traded my father’s life debt for your freedom from the Malfoys, I had to cut your hand. Malfoy did the same it. It was when you changed owner. When you were in pain earlier, it was due to the geas being removed. The previous owner spell became void. That’s why you were in pain, Sev.”

Severus shook his head. “It’s madness. It has taken hold of you. What are you babbling about?”

“Accio Ministry letter,” Severus said, pointing his wand at the manor. A minute later, the letter settled down in the palm of his hand. He wasn’t surprised to see a second letter fly into his hand a second later. It was still sealed and he reckoned he knew its content. He broke the seal and opened it. He gave it a quick read, nodded, and handed it to Severus. “Read.” He kept an arm curled around Severus, knowing his lover needed his support.

Severus didn’t want to read it. He didn’t even want to look at it. “Put it away, please. Don’t play games with me.”

“No games, Sev. I promise you.” Realizing Severus wasn’t going to look at the letter, James decided to read it aloud.

“Mr. Benjamin Potter,

As requested, the Ministry removed the geas binding Severus Snape to James Potter. By doing so, the slave bond became void. As of this moment, Severus Snape is registered as a freeborn citizen and has gained all accompanying rights. As he’s currently your ward, we expect you to make all necessary provisions for him. You will be his legal guardian until he comes of age or weds your son, James Potter.”

Severus shook his head in disbelief and pleadingly looked at James. “Why now? Why do you have to start playing these games now? Because I finally feel safe? Because I finally allowed myself to trust you?” Tears rose in his eyes. “Please, don’t…”

“Sev, it’s the truth. I’m not lying or playing games.” What would it take to convince Severus of the truth? “We’re holding hands, aren’t we?”

Severus nodded, dazed by the sudden change in topic. Yes, they were holding hands, or to be more exact, James was holding his.

“Do you feel me? Do you feel my emotions? Do you feel my intent?” James knew it was a long shot, but he had to try.

Severus gave James a confused look. No, he didn’t. James felt nice and warm, but the presence that had regularly seeped into his mind was gone. He was alone, he realized, startled. “What did you do?”

“The Ministry severed the slave-bond. You’re free, Sev. You’re no longer a slave and therefore our connection is gone.” James regretted that, but reminded himself that this was only right. Severus should be able to decide whether to stay with him, or leave, out of his own accord. The bond shouldn’t be coercing him in any way. “This is the truth. Ask my parents, they’ll confirm it and you know they don’t play games.” His heart thumped painfully at seeing Severus gingerly reach for the Ministry letter. James folded Severus’ fingers around it and let go of the piece of paper. “It’s yours. It’s true.”

Severus just couldn’t believe it. There had to be some kind of trick. No master would ever want to free his slave. But then again, this was James. The Potters were odd; they had traded away their life debt and had done everything within their power to see him healed. But still – no Purebloods in their right mind would willingly lose out on a slave! But this was James and… He felt light-headed and had to close his eyes against the vertigo. But the wounds on his hands had re-opened and the scars were gone. He didn’t feel James’ emotions anymore and… But no, this couldn’t be!

“It’s too much to take in. I get that.” James pulled Severus closer against him. “You should talk to my parents once we’re back home. My dad is better at having these talks than I am.” Severus’ big, dark eyes suddenly fastened on him. 

“I can’t believe this. I can’t. It can’t be.”

“It’s the truth. You’ll realize it in time.” James curled Severus’ fingers tightly around the letter. “Why don’t you keep holding on to that?” He slipped their joined hands back into his warm coat pocket. “We should head back home. You look cold.” Severus had grown extremely pale, but he doubted the cold was to blame. The revelation that he had gained his freedom had shaken him up.

Severus stood the moment James did. He followed the other boy’s lead and automatically resumed they way back to the house when James did. Why was James playing these games? What could he possibly hope to achieve by manipulating him? By Merlin, he wasn’t sure what he dreaded more; James telling him lies or the truth. 

//

Evelyn sent Remus and Sirius to the guestroom, realizing another talk was in order. Apparently James had a hard time convincing Severus of what had happened. Luckily Remus and Sirius left quickly, seemingly understanding of the situation. “Sit,” Evelyn said and pointed at the comfortable coach. She smiled at seeing them hold hands. 

Severus sat down with trepidation. Surely James’ game was coming to an end now. Mrs. Potter would expose her son’s lies. He cast a quick look at Mr. Potter, who looked equally worried. 

“I showed Sev the letter from the Ministry, but he doesn’t believe me. He thinks I’m playing games,” James explained, ignoring Severus flinching next to him, though not paying it any attention was hard. He wanted to reach out and console his lover. 

“That’s understandable,” Evelyn said. “It must be quite the shock.”

Severus stared at her. She wasn’t going to continue these lies, was she?

“It’s true,” Ben said as he sat down next to his wife. “The Ministry agreed to remove the geas. You are free, Severus. The slave-bond has been removed.” He felt deeply for the boy who stared at him in shock. It was only normal that Severus needed time to accept that change. 

Severus shook his head. He felt lost – afloat on a stormy ocean. “It can’t be!”

“Why are you so afraid? You’re a person now. You have rights – you’re free and independent.” Evelyn wanted to get to the bottom of Severus’ shock. 

Severus shook his head repeatedly. “Don’t you understand? All my life I was told I’m a slave. That I’ll be a slave until the day I die and then you tell me… You truly want me to believe…” He couldn’t speak the words.

“What are you scared of, Sev?” James’ heart ached for his lover and he twined their fingers tighter. “I’m here for you. I’ll always support you.”

Severus despaired. “Don’t you understand? Let’s assume, you’re being honest and the Ministry removed the geas. Then what? I don’t have any means to support myself. I don’t have a home! I’m…” Severus’ heart pounded madly in his chest and he was getting dizzy again. “This is the only home I’ve ever known. I don’t want it to end! I want to stay here – with you and your family. I want to know I’m safe from Malfoy. I want to be healthy. I don’t want to face starvation ever again. I need the security you provide. When you stop being my master then…” He had to stop talking as the room was spinning all around him. His breathing was too fast and he was panicking again. 

Ben quickly moved toward Severus and sat down next to him. “Relax…” He placed a hand on Severus’ back and forced the boy to lean forward until his head reached his knees. “Breath in and out… in and out… slowly, in and out.” He rubbed soothing circles on the trembling back. “It’ll pass. You’re having an anxiety attack, that’s all. It will stop in a few minutes.” Exchanging a look with his son, Ben indicated James should take over.

James took to rubbing Severus’ back and mimicked his father, telling Severus to slowly breathe in and out. “You’ll be fine in a minute, Sev.”

Ben looked at his wife. Evelyn looked worried as well. Severus needed rest to recuperate and not suffering one shock after another. “Severus,” he said, addressing the young man once Severus was beginning to calm down. “This IS your home. This IS your safe haven. Your room is just that – yours.” 

When Severus raised his head, his face dripped with tears. “If it’s true and you are no longer my master, you’re no longer obliged to keep me.”

“Oh, Sev,” James said, just a little bit faster than his mum, who also wanted to comfort Severus. “You’ll always have a home with me. I love you.”

“And if you weren’t already marrying our son, we would gladly officially adopt you,” Evelyn added. 

Marrying James – fuck, that had escaped his attention. Waveringly, he sought out James’ gaze. “Do you still want me then?”

“Of course! I proposed, didn’t I? It doesn’t matter to me if you’re a slave or freeborn! I love you because of who you are!” James placed his hands on either side of Severus’ face and made him look at him. “I love you, Sev, I want to marry you and grow old with you. I know we can have what my parents have.” But the question was, did Severus really love him back. “Do you want that too? You no longer need to humor me. If you want out, tell me and I’ll back off — eventually. I must warn you. I’ll put up a fight first before letting you go.”

Severus wiped at his tears and searched James’ eyes once his vision had cleared. “I have feelings for you,” he admitted. “But I’ve never been in love before. I don’t know if that’s what I’m feeling.”

“I understand that,” James assured him. “And we’ll take our time finding out, though I have the feeling you do love me back.”

Ben chuckled, drawing Severus’ attention that way. “Do you think so too, sir?” Severus wondered.

“It’s in your eyes, Severus, whenever you look at James, I see a deep affection, which will eventually evolve into love, if it hasn’t already.”

Severus considered that answer. Since he couldn’t trust his own feelings, he had to rely on the opinion of others. “What do you think, Mrs. Potter?”

“It’s Evelyn,” she told him. “And I agree with my son and husband. You need not worry. The two of you are made for each other. I wouldn’t have agreed to James proposing to you if I didn’t believe you’d work out.”

Severus had to take that into consideration. He deeply respected the Potters and knew they wouldn’t lie to him. He trusted their judgment, as he had no experience in these matters. “I want to stay,” he repeated. “With all of you,” he added and gave each a weak smile. “I like you a lot, James… But maybe I need a little time to find out what I’m really feeling.” He doubted he would manage that before February first, but he wasn’t going to call off their wedding. Knowing James wanted to marry him offered him a stable home. Even if he didn’t come to love James the way the other boy proclaimed to love him, he would agree to the wedding. He desperately wanted to stay at this safe haven.

James decided it was time to back off. He was done discussing it for the moment, as it seemed to stress out Severus more with every minute. “Hey, it’s January first and we didn’t even celebrate! Not properly anyway.”

Severus wiped away his remaining tears and welcomed the break. “What do you have in mind?”

Ben got to his feet. “I’ll fetch Remus and Sirius. They’re a part of this too.”

Severus nodded. He didn’t mind. He turned his attention back to James. “I feel lost – and nervous. Please, be patient with me.”

“Always,” James sighed in relief and buried Severus in a hug. “Always.”

//

Remus could tell Severus had wept. The werewolf in him smelled the salt in the air, and even without the curse plaguing him, the red-rimmed eyes would have told him so.

Sirius leaned in closer and whispered, “Why did he cry? I thought he would be thrilled to hear he’s no longer a slave.”

“Who knows, Pads… But maybe we can help!” 

Ben opened the champagne bottle and was now filling up the glasses. The youngsters would only get one glass each though. He was strict in that. Handing them their glasses, he watched Severus give him a miserable look. “Is something wrong?”

Severus forced himself to accept the champagne, telling himself that one glass wouldn’t make him intoxicated. “No, I’m fine,” he lied and shivered, smelling the alcohol in the air. Bad things happened when people were drunk.

“It’s just the one glass,” James reassured him, wondering about the return of the panic to Severus’ eyes. 

Severus nodded, mentally repeating James’ words over and over again. People didn’t end up drunk because of one glass… But it didn’t work and suddenly the glass dropped from his fingers.

Sirius’ reflexes were the fastest and he actually managed to catch the glass with his bare hands, using no magic at all. Severus’ dark eyes met his and he easily identified the terror in them. He didn’t have to ponder why it was there. His dear sister had told him some things during the last few days. “Maybe we should have some grape juice instead,” he said, keeping Severus’ gaze prisoner. “Or pumpkin juice. Something without alcohol, yes?”

Severus found himself nodding at Sirius’ words. “Yes… please.”

Ben vanished their champagne after exchanging a look with his wife. Whatever was wrong, he didn’t want Severus to have yet another panic attack. “Murky, can you supply us with some pumpkin juice?”

The old elf appeared a moment later with a tray and placed it on the coffee table. Before vanishing again, he gave Severus a concerned look. 

James was determined to discuss the incident later, but not tonight. Maybe tomorrow, or the day after that. Not until Severus had finally calmed down. “I don’t mind having pumpkin juice.” He picked up two glasses and handed Severus one. “Is this better?”

Ashamed of his earlier behavior, Severus stared at the floor. Why had he overreacted like that? The Potters were good people and one glass wouldn’t have gotten them drunk. But still – he had been at the mercy of too many drunk people to let that thought assure him. “Yes,” he whispered, so terribly ashamed of himself.

“Fine!” Sirius raised his glass. “Here’s to the new year! May it be much better than the last year!”

James cast Sirius a grateful look. “Yes, happy New Years everyone!”

Remus and the Potters joined in and toasted as well. Severus raised his glass, but remained timid and withdrawn. 

Ben moved over to his son and whispered, “You need to find out what happened just now.”

“But not tonight. He had one panic attack already.”

Ben nodded. “But make sure you do address it.”

James would. He knew he had to if he wanted Severus to recover from past abuse.

//

One hour later, exhaustion made relaxation finally set in and Severus felt comfortable enough to lean against James for support. His eyes were beginning to close and he found it increasingly hard to stay awake. It was ridiculous. When he had still been with the Malfoys he had been forced to stay awake for several nights and now, he couldn’t even manage a few extra hours!

James noticed and smiled indulgently. “I should get you to bed.” 

Sirius rolled his eyes aback at that. “That from the guy who always proclaimed he didn’t like blokes!”

James continued to smile. Sirius had been mellow all evening and he could tell this was mere jest among friends. “Well, maybe you’ll find out you aren’t as straight as you always thought either.” Sirius arched an eyebrow, stuck out his tongue in a childish moment, but didn’t comment. “Come on, Sev, let’s get going.”

Severus registered someone pulling him to his feet and he instinctively cooperated. An arm wrapped itself supportively around his waist and he managed to start walking.

“See you later today!” James waved at his friends and parents and concentrated on getting Severus back to his room. Severus’ fatigue didn’t surprise him; it had been an exhausting evening for his lover.

//

Keeping his dad’s warning, not to use any magic on Severus, in mind, James struggled to get Severus out of his clothes. “Cooperate, will you?” he joked.

Severus managed to crack open his eyes. “What are you doing?” he said, his words slightly slurred.

“Getting you ready for bed. You need to get some sleep.” Thankfully Severus seemed to agree and James finally managed to remove all clothes except for his underwear. Using a quick spell on himself to remove his clothes, James then slipped between the covers with Severus. As they lay facing each other, James moved closer, draped an arm across Severus’ hip, and snuggled up to him. “Perfection…”

Although he was already half asleep, the word registered with Severus. Did James really think that? But why would he make it up? It wouldn’t gain him anything.

“Sev, have some nice dreams.” James kissed Severus’ brow and then tucked his lover’s head beneath his. “I love you…” he whispered, already nodding off himself. 

“I wonder why,” Severus muttered beneath his breath so James would hear. Abandoning his doubts for now, he closed his eyes and savored being held in his sleep.

//

Severus couldn’t bring himself to move just yet. He knew it had to be mid-morning, as the sun was already up and it didn’t rise until ten at the very least in these parts. A gently shower of golden sunlight bathed the bed in a warm glow and he could have stayed like this forever. As far as he was concerned this was heaven.

They had changed positions during the night and had ended up spooned, with James behind him and holding him. The fact that James was hard against him didn’t cause him to panic as it might have before. He knew James wasn’t going to force him; that belief had finally gained solid ground with him. What did worry him was the fact that he was hard too. Maybe worry was the wrong word. It was mostly surprise. All of a sudden, his body had decided it was interested in what James had to offer. That fact still took him aback. How could he still crave this after everything he had lived through? And yet, James’ touch was gentle and comforting and yes, he did crave more of it. 

James woke up, pleasantly horny after the erotic dream he’d had. If only Severus would let him do those things to him! In his dream, he’d had Severus pleading for more and he had liked seeing that look of utter ecstasy in those black eyes. Severus shifted, which told James his lover was also awake. “Morning,” he whispered and placed several kisses against the nape of his lover’s neck. “And what a good morning it is.” Carefully monitoring Severus’ reaction to his kisses, James felt encouraged. Sneaking a hand across Severus’ hip, and beneath the underwear, it quickly found its target. He moaned in delight. “You’re hard.” With a thought, he vanished the offending boxers.

Severus swallowed nervously. “I can’t help it.”

“Why would you?” James slipped his fingers around the hard flesh and tugged experimentally, electing a small, surprised gasp from his lover’s lips. “Love you,” he whispered, as he continued to pump his lover. “Love you so much… You smell good too.”

The stimulation quickly proved too much for Severus and he came all over James’s hand. After the moment of ecstasy faded, he grew worried again. “Sorry for making such a mess.”

James rolled Severus’ onto his back so he could study his lover’s expression. “Don’t be. I’m not. I intend to create an even bigger mess.” Severus had climaxed quickly and he rather hoped that with the right amount of stimulation, he would grow aroused again. He climbed onto Severus, straddled his hips. “Damn it, I want you.” But he couldn’t have him. Not yet.

Severus had expected for it to happen sooner or later. “Then take me.”

“No,” James stressed. “Not like this. If anyone is bottoming it’s me.”

“James…” Severus bit onto his bottom lip. “I don’t mind. I’m used to the pain. I’d rather suffer it myself than knowing you’re in pain.”

James shook his head. “No, maybe in the future, but not right now. I don’t want you to panic again.”

“Panic?” Severus marveled at his lover. “I’ve done this hundreds of times before. Doing this with you won’t kill me.”

James realized his decision to deny Severus had been the right one. His erection had faded and he stretched atop his lover, embracing him. “No more talk of this. Let’s enjoy the morning instead.” He showered Severus’ face with kisses and then moved on to his lover’s throat, lapping, play-biting and sucking all the sensitive spots there. James sighed in pleasure, rubbed his groin against Severus’, and realized his erection was making a comeback. Much to his delight, his lover was also growing aroused again. Wandlessly, he summoned the potion his dad had given him, just in case. James ignored Severus’ puzzled look and downed it in one go. A warm, pleasurable feeling settled in his lower body. “I want you, Sev,” he repeated. “Are you willing?”

Realizing his lovers’ intentions made Severus gasp in surprise. “James, it will hurt.”

“No, it won’t. That potion will take care of everything. Now, I haven’t done this before, so help me, will you?”

Severus considered objecting once more, but James was already lowering himself onto his erection. Acting quickly, Severus guided his lover onto him, while carefully monitoring James’ expression. “You don’t…” have to this, he wanted to say, but failed to finish as James sat in his lap, having taken him completely. He had never experienced this before and felt overwhelmed.

“What do I do now?” James loved seeing that particular expression on his lover’s face. Severus looked like he was about to come – again. He liked that.

“Just move your hips…” Severus managed – somehow, lost somewhere between love, lust, worry and want. “Rotate them.”

James started experimenting and when Severus moaned and closed his eyes, he knew he was doing it right. “I won’t last long,” he warned. The potion caused his insides to tingle and a heavy, sated feeling stretched across his lower body. 

Severus didn’t worry about that. He wasn’t going to last much longer either. Opening his eyes, he caressed his lover’s face and finally found the courage to whisper, “I love you too, James… I love you… Love you so much…”

It was hearing those words which sent James over the edge. His cock erupted all over Severus’ abdomen and the lazy, heavy feeling moved in waves through his entire body. Sated, he collapsed on top of his lover, quivering as the last tremors of ecstasy shook him. 

Severus followed shortly after James. He had never come this hard. He had never before felt this complete. He felt like he was part of a whole, half of it, and that it would always be this way. They fit perfectly – in more ways than one. Realizing James was trembling, Severus protectively wrapped his arms around him. “The things you do to me.”

James, feeling rather sweaty and lazy, nodded against his lover’s chest. “Didn’t plan it. I really wanted to wait until after our wedding.” But the need had overwhelmed him and luckily, things had worked out. 

Severus closed his eyes, stroked James’ unruly hair and chuckled. “Typically Gryffindor behavior.”

“Probably,” James readily agreed, before cursing the owl which pecked against the window.

“What’s that?” Severus opened his eyes, wondering about that owl. 

“Probably the Ministry, wanting to let us now that it registered us consummating our relationship. We needn’t bother to have that wedding ceremony. As far as the Ministry goes, we did the deed and we’re married.”

Severus looked at James and marveled about the way the Gryffindor had upended his life. “I love you, James. Thank you for loving me back.”

James smiled warmly. “Always, Sev. I’ll love you always.”

The end!


End file.
